No Label

D-5

"Nana! Buti nakarating ka", agad na bati ni Mina sakin.

May busking performance daw yung Tulips. Jill also invited me to watch. Buti na lang at 7pm pa yung show nila kaya makakaabot pa ako. Chirstmas break na nina Mina kaya ito na pinagkakaabalahan niya. While me? Medyo pabibo ata school namin at late na yung Christmas break na hinihintay ng lahat. But still I want to watch them once kaya pumunta akong nakauniform.

"Hindi pa kayo nakasayaw?", I asked. Baka kasi tapos na, sayang yung punta ko.

"Obviously girl? Hindi pa kami haggard kaya malamang hindi pa.", I rolled my eyes to Mina. Pilosopong bata.

"You look good even in uniforms", napalingon ako dahil pamilyar ang boses na sumulpot sa usapan.

"Oh Jill", yun lang nasabi ko. Biglang nag back to zero yung awkwardness kahit na naghoholding hands na kami kahapon. Lumingon muli ako kay Mina pero wala na siya. Talagang pinapatay ako ng babaeng 'to.

"The show is about to start. I'll be at the backstage", paalam niya dahil tinatawag na siya ng mga kasama niya. I also saw another familiar face, yung Yanyan. So they are in one group? Hindi ako pamilyar sa iba, sina Mina, Ina, Jimmy, Eza, Yanyan at Jill lang yung kilala ko.

"Goodluck", I said before he leave. Umupo na lang din ako sa tabi nina Mother Horn. Namiss ko din mga friends ko sa KPOP community kaya nakipagkwentuhan muna ako dahil hindi pa naman nagsisimula.

I heard the emcee welcoming the audience and so we all focused on the stage.

"A group of talented boys and girls will be giving us a special performance! Ladies and gentlemen, Tulips!"

Isa-isa silang umakyat ng stage at kanya-kanyang tili mga tao sa gilid ko. Mahina lang akong pumalakpak but I'm actually excited for them.

"Tulips KPOP sowranghey!", sigaw ng mga kasama ko. Natawa ako dahil sa sinigaw nila. Hindi ko alam kung cheer yan o distraction. Nakita ko din na tumatawa yung ibang members ng Tulips.

The lights went off leaving one spotlight directed to the members who are now in a formation. Then the music starts and cheers filled the whole place. They started dancing and I can't take off my eyes to Mina. I want to look at the other members too but I don't know why it automatically shifted to her. I should be looking at Jill right now because he is my 'boyfriend' but I'm getting gay for Mina. Tangina, babae ka Nana. 

Was it because we always used to perform together and it's unusual that I'm just watching her now? We used to be standing in one stage but now I'm in the audience and she is on stage dancing with other people. I truly miss those times. I miss the stage.

Pumalakpak ako nang matapos ang performance nila. Nanatili lang sila sa stage at pumasok ulit yung emcee para interviewhin sila.

"Let's have a talk with a member", Tumili yung mga girls sa gilid nang lumapit ang emcee kay Jill. Sarap sumigaw 'Boyfriend ko yan mga potangina". "So what's your name, handsome boy?"

"Jill", Ayan na naman ulit ang nakakabinging tili nila. Sinabi lang ang pangalan akala nila crushback na agad!

"Single?", HIndi agad nakasagot si Jill. Lahat naka-abang dahil sa tanong na 'yan. Will he really publicly reveal our relationship? Mukhang ihahanda ko na sarili ko baka bigla akong sabunutan ng mga babae dito.

"Yes... I'm single", he said with hesitation. I saw Mina looking at me with worries but I forced to smile. The smile I always carry. The smile they always see.

I would be lying if I'll say it didn't hurt. Yes, we weren't dating for long and this is just a deal. I know that my feelings for him is still unsure but still... he is not definitely single. I've been asking a lot of question at that moment. My ears unconsciously blocked the noise of those girls.

'Is he not taking me seriously?'

'Did he knew this is just a deal?'

'Ikinakahiya ba niya ako?'