Ex-husband Wants Me Back

Chapter 37

Jade’s POV

“Mom, are you okay?” Aiden dropped his fork, having noticed how I was fondling my food.

He has always been smarter than his age, as I have said. And these are one of the days he tends to act above five.

“I’m fine.” I lied, forcing myself to eat, so Aiden wouldn’t have to be sad as well. I don’t like seeing him sad at this age; it was just too early.

“You are not, Mom.”

“I am.” I lied again.

“But you have tears on your–”

“Oh, sorry…I just had a little pepper in there.” I managed to let out a smile, picking up a clean handkerchief and wiping off the tears that were about to fall from my left eye.

“Eat your food, baby.” I patted his head, while pecking it a bit before sitting again.

“Mom,”

“Mmmm…”

“Never mind,” he replied, his hand fondling with his fork. I could tell he looks nervous, and he has a lot to talk about.

Fear coursed through me, seeing my greatest nightmare playing right in front of me. So many choices right in front of me, but I just cannot seem to be able to pick one of the options.

This was what I’ve been guiding against. My son getting scared or having to keep things away from me. It’s a situation I never want to play in front of me, but no…

“Baby, you know you can tell me anything?” I started, trying to revive that son and mother conversation.

I felt bile rise to my throat, praying that my tactics work, and that he tells me whatever it was he had in mind rather than shying away from it.

“Yes, mommy.”

“So, what was it you wanted to tell me earlier?” I asked again, my eyes now fixed on his, giving him that ‘Don’t lie to me kind of look,’

“Promise me you won’t get angry, Mom.” he stared at me, as if trying to assess me, to be sure he was good to go. His eyes bored into mine, and mine into his.

I swallowed hard. It wasn’t as if it was something I didn’t already know about. Just that, I wanted to hear it from him directly. I need to know these things are not getting to my son. Because right now…

“I promise. I won’t get mad at you.”

“Mom…”

“You have my words, baby. I’ll never get mad at you for anything, okay. You are all I have, and I trust you with all my heart.”

Just as the words slipped out of my mouth, he heaved a sigh. Clearing his throat, he finally confessed. “Daddy came to my school.”

“I know.”

“And I spoke with him,” he continued, guilt written all over his face.

“I know that too,” I whispered beneath my breath, trying hard to stop tears from flowing out of my eyes again. Because right now, this wasn’t the life I wanted for Aiden.

But for one way or the other, I just find myself caught up in this whole web again. It’s not just funny, nor was it making sense to me right now.

“Ain’t you angry?” was his next question, his puppy eyes gazing at mine.

“No,” I whispered silently, controlling the tears threatening to spill.

How was I supposed to be mad at this innocent soul, huh? Why would I take out my anger on him when he has done absolutely nothing wrong?

Whatever had happened five years ago between Silas and me has nothing to do with him. But yet I find it very sad that Aiden was in the middle, receiving all this s**t!

He looks so confused and scared. Like he doesn’t want to offend me, yet he wants to feel the warmth of a father.

Deep down, I know he wants to have someone to refer to as “Dad,”

He has come home every day, talking about how his classmates at school tell him about their father wearing a matching outfit with their mom on Christmas Day.

But here I am trying to break off with Silas. To separate Aiden from the one thing that one person he has always wanted to be with. What does that make me?

A bad person? Am I doing too much?

I think at this point, I just need someone’s opinion. Someone much more mature to tell me I wasn’t misleading this young, pure soul.

I stared deep into his eyes, and it was like I could see deep into his heart. He wanted his dad and me to be together.

But I just cannot bring myself to love Silas after everything he and Morgan did to me. Yes, the feelings are still there, but I just can’t run back into his arms like a freaking coward!

“I’m sorry,” was all I could whisper, placing his head on my chest while I patted his head softly. I placed a soft kiss on his head as tears rolled down my cheeks.

A hard decision has to be made soon, one that I know involves Aiden. So maybe it’s better to know what his thoughts are before we really get to court.

It’s no longer news that almost everyone knows that Aiden is Silas’s son. And I must protect him with my life if need be.

“Aiden,” I called out softly, my tears falling freely onto his golden hair, while I wiped them off as more kept coming.

“Yes, mom.”

“Do you really want your dad to be with us?”

“You said Daddy is not a good man. And since he hurts you–”

“No, Aiden.” I shook my head in disapproval. “Don’t do what mommy wants. I’m asking you,” I paused, swallowing hard so he doesn’t find out I’m crying.

“Do you want Daddy to be with us for Christmas, or would you want to be with Daddy for Christmas?” I repeated in a dimension that he would be giving me a direct answer.

“Yes, mommy. Can he be with us for Christmas?” he looked up at my face, and my heart shattered into a million pieces.