I would die again just to hurt you

Chapter 4

It was only the beginning of the night but it seemed Rorhena wasn't going to take us back to the ballroom. Lenora seemed disappointed but I just wanted to sit down and think in silence so I didn't mind. It felt like I hadn't slept in five days and I could collapse any moment. We were escorted to our rooms and the maids insisted on the fact that Lenora and I couldn't sleep together. I didn't mind sleeping alone but I really had to talk to my best friend so I argued:

"We don't really need two rooms. We can sleep on the same bed, thank you."

However, seeing how terrified the maids were I guessed that Rorhena wasn't going to be happy if they disobeyed her. I didn't care if Rorhena was mad at me. After everything I had told her, it was too late. But I didn't want to drag the maids into this. I was a better person than that.

"Then we will sleep separately, no problem. But may we stay alone for a bit? We have things to talk about. We will sleep later separately."

The maids hesitated a few seconds but after exchanging a few glances they finally agreed and left us alone. Lenora immediately dragged me into the room on the left and she pulled me to the bed, jumping on it in a thud.

"So? What happened?"

I sighed. I didn't even know where to begin. I told Lenora in detail about everything that had been said and she listened to me with shining eyes. Lenora believed in fate with all her heart and was a big romantic so I knew already what she was going to say:

"What if you really were Vindona?"

I shook my head:

"And how could that be possible?

-Admit that it would be cool.

-I can't disagree. Who wouldn't want to be a Goddess? But I am not."

She shook her head so hard that I thought it would fall off:

"If you are not a Goddess then no one is."

I started laughing:

"I don't think that's how it works.

-What if you were a Goddess in your past life and the Crown Princess was the real Rorhena too? Rorhena remembers her past life but you don't and when she saw you she immediately recognized you. Even after death you found each other again. That's the strongest friendship I ever heard about! I won't be jealous, don't worry and will cheer you two on so go ahead and be friends again. Then I'll just have to become friends with the Crown Princess too.

-If we really were the Goddesses then that would mean Rorhena killed me."

Lenora shrugged as if to say that it was only a detail:

"I am sure it was an accident."

I couldn't help thinking back to Rorhena's scream but did my best to shake that memory away.

"How could killing someone be an accident?

-It would be an accident if I tripped on something and by falling pushed someone down the stairs and they broke their neck during the fall.

-That was oddly specific. Is there something that you are not telling me?"

We laughed and I felt a bit better seeing that Lenora didn't find what happened weird at all. Her nonchalant side was the best tranquilizer I could have asked for and I went back to the second room to get ready for bed. I was so exhausted that I quickly washed up before jumping on the bed. Despite feeling like I could collapse any second, I couldn't fall asleep. So many things happened that my mind couldn't stop working and I opened my eyes frustrated. More things happened in an hour than in my whole life and I had no words to explain what that was.

Did the Crown Princess have some kind of condition? Did she really believe that she was the Goddess? Maybe she saw a painting of Vindona and thought that I resembled her. In that case I couldn't really be mad at her. After all she would be a patient. I never heard rumors about her Highness having any issues but the medical records of royals were highly confidential after all. Even if she did have some disease, no one would know about it outside the Palace.

She really seemed to believe what she was saying and that was even worse. She wasn't just lying to get something from me. The Crown Princess never showed emotions so why would she have that many emotions in front of me? Was she that good of an actress? Was she waiting before telling me what she wanted? But then why me? Did I have something she wanted? Apart from my restaurant I had no idea what that could be and I doubted that Rorhena would want my restaurant.

I had no answer and my mind was just going in circles for hours. I had no idea when I fell asleep but the next second I opened my eyes I was dreaming. I knew that it was a dream because I wasn't master of my body and could only watch what was unfolding before my eyes. I was lying in the grass feeling a breeze against my face. The air was very warm and the sky was a perfect light blue. It must have been in the middle of summer somewhere near the beach judging by the weather. I could feel the dry air coming inside my lungs and how hard the grass was under me, against my cheek and bare arms. Everything felt too real and I questioned if it was really a dream but the next second there was a shadow in front of my eyes.

When I looked up I saw a figure sitting on the side of my head. The Sun was behind her and was turning her contours into gold so I couldn't see the details of her face. She had her hand raised to cover my eyes from the sun and seemed to be smiling. My body closed her eyes before sighing relaxed. It took a few seconds before she opened her eyes again and looked back to the other person:

"Don't you have somewhere to be?

-You can't sleep when there's light."

The first one was my voice. I recognized it but I had no idea who the other voice belonged to. It was really familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. My body smiled and closed her eyes again:

"You should go. You are invited too.

-I am not going back. I want to stay here with you.

-They are your family.

-Family doesn't mean anything to us."

I hummed.

"My real family is here."

The more the stranger talked the more frustrating it was. I knew this voice. I had heard it so many times before. But the name couldn't help flowing away from me. Every time I thought I would remember, I felt the silhouette shaking even more.

"Aren't you happy that I'm here?

-What are you saying? It would be awfully boring without you here.

-Who would match you at the spear if I wasn't here?"

I wanted to open my eyes so badly but my body still stayed with her eyes closed. I never felt so relaxed in my entire life and would have completely immersed myself in the dream if I hadn't been that irritated by the stranger's voice. I needed to know who she was now but my body wasn't moving at all except for the rib cage going up and down at slow intervals.

"Were you this relaxed knowing that I could leave today?

-I knew that you wouldn't.

-Still. How could you be so heartless?"

I started laughing:

"We would never abandon each other. I have full trust in you."

My body finally opened her eyes and I needed a few seconds to get used to the light. Despite the shadow on my eyes, I still couldn't see well and had no clues about the identity of the stranger. The latter seemed to have really liked my answer because she smiled:

"You are the only person I will ever trust.

-How can you know that?

-I will never trust anyone else.

-We should never say never.

-I can say it. I am a Goddess."

I laughed again in a really good mood despite my teasing:

"How uppity of you.

-Say it too."

I smiled broadly and felt my lips c***k because of the heat:

"I will only trust you too."

The hand that had protected me from the Sun suddenly fell on my cheek and I had to close my eyes to protect them from the light. However as soon as I rubbed my head against the head, it got suddenly jerked away and the stranger got up:

"We should go. Your father must be waiting for us."

I sat up and looked at the receding silhouette. I could finally see the stranger a bit more and judging by her height she must have been a child. She had long brown waves that were gathered in a messy bun and her tanned skin was beaded by sweat. For her small body she had strong shoulders and was standing perfectly straight and determined.

"Wait for me."

The stranger finally turned around and I could finally see who it was. However the next second I woke up without having seen anything.