Luscious Man Series 3: Danrev Blade Montillo (R18+)

KABANATA 11

I was moved by his words. Hindi ko pa rin akalaing maririnig ko ito sa kaniya. A compliment like this seems impossible to hear from him — from his own mouth.

I smiled and look down again, feeling fleeting moment he has given me just now. Naghuhuramentado ang mga paru-paro sa aking tiyan at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.

Kasama ko siya… boyfriend ko siya… at naririnig ko ang mga ito sa kaniya.

We spent the next hours by watching a Kdrama. Alam kong hindi niya naman naiintindihan ‘yon kahit na may subtitles pero nanatili siyang nanonood. Katabi ko si Trouble at nakahiga sa aking kandungan habang katabi ko naman si Blade. I am leaning on his shoulder, and he didn’t protest, he just let me.

We ate our dinner in my condo. Ako ang nagluto dahil hindi ko siya naipagluto kagabi. And he liked what I cooked for him. It was just a simple Filipino cuisine, sinigang at kaldereta. Manang Lusya taught me that and I think I mastered the kaldereta recipe.

“You cooked really well,” he said while I was washing the dishes. Pinagpahinga ko nang maaga si yaya dahil alam ko namang napagod din siya maglinis ng buong condi unit ko maghapon.

“Manang Lusya taught me how to cook when I was in highschool,” I said without looking at him.

“Siya ang nag-alaga sa ‘yo?”

Tumango ako, “she’s my nanny until I was highschool. Ngayon ay mayordoma na siya ng mansyon at si yaya Lai na ang nag-aasikaso sa akin hanggang ngayon. Though, I really don’t need to have someone beside me now, since I can take care of myself now. Hindi lang maiwasan ni mommy since madalas din akong busy sa shoots ko. Madalas kong kasama si yaya sa shoot ko kapag wala ang PA ko. I don’t have a permanent PA yet, that’s why.” Paliwanag ko.

“I can be your permanent PA if you want.” I look at him and immediately glared at him.

“You don’t fit as my PA, Blade. Saka, hindi porke’t boyfriend kita, p’wede na kitang alipinin, ‘no.”

I stilled when he suddenly held my waist. He watched me shocked by his move.

“Gusto kong… kasama mo ‘ko sa shoots na gagawin mo. I want to watch you… do your passion.” Napakurap-kurap ako sa sinabi niya, hindi alam ang isasagot. “To be honest, this is the first time I care about other people’s career…”

I look at him in awe. He looks so sincere with his words. I smiled and hugged him tight.

“Thank you…” maramdaming sambit ko.

“Anything for you,”

After that talk and after I finished washing the dishes, he went home. I waved at him while he’s walking towards the elevator. Napangiti ako nang lumingong muli siya para tingnan ako. He smiled and went inside the elevator. Sinara ko na ang pinto at pumasok na sa kuwarto ko para mag-skin care.

Kinabukasan ay maaga akong nagising dahil maaga ang pasok ko. Hindi ko na inabala pa si Blade pero hindi rin ako nagdala ng kotse dahil susunduin naman niya ako mamaya. I just sent him a message that I’m going to school early today.

I was at the lobby when I bumped into someone. Nalaglag ang dala nitong maliliit na kahon kaya tinulungan ko siya habang sunod-sunod ang paghingi ng tawad.

“I’m sorry, hindi kita nakita. Sorry!” sambit ko habang tinutulungan siyang pagpatung-patungin ang mga kahon.

“It’s okay,” natigilan ako nang marinig ang boses na ‘yon.

Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay tama ang hinala ko nang magtama ang paningin namin.

“Ajax,” I murmured his name.

“Oh, so you still remember my name.” He chuckled.

“Why are you here?” I asked when we finally stand up.

“Lumipat ako rito. I transferred school,” tumango ako roon.

“Bakit dito mo napiling lumipat? Are you stalking me?” I narrowed my eyes on him.

He snorted at me, “no, I’m not. My dad suggested this condo tower because it’s near from the university I transferred. I didn’t know you’re living here.” Tumango ako.

“Yeah, almost 3 years na ako rito.” Napatingin ako sa wrist watch ko at nakitang 7:30 na. “Uh, as long as I want to have more conversation with you, I’m afraid I have to go. I need to go to school early. Let’s catch up next time. Bye!”

Nagmamadali na akong lumabas at pumara ng taxi. Agad akong nagpahatid sa school dahil male-late ako sa meeting namin. All journalists in our school will have this meeting. Since may event kami next week, we need to prepare dahil paniguradong marami kaming gagawin.

Nang makarating doon ay agad akong dumiretso sa room kung saan okupado naming Student Journalist ‘yon. Dapat ay sa faculty pero dahil marami kaming pupunta na mula first to fourth year of college all ay sa room na ‘yon na kami nag-meeting.

Mabuti na lang sa year namin ay photography ang naiatang sa akin at hindi writing or conducting interviews dahil mas nakaka-stress ‘yon.

I will prepare my camera now!

May intramurals kami next week at magiging malaking event ‘yon for us. Kaya paghahandaan. Maraming booths at kung anu-ano pang extra-curricular activities. Ang sabi ay p’wede ring mag-invite ng outsider kung gusto ng estudyante. Maybe, I could invite Blade if he’s not busy or he don’t have class.

“Vea, may ikaw raw magmo-model para sa gagawing tarpaulin.” Napatingin ako sa kasama ko at napatingin din sa paligid. I was busy thinking about something else, kaya hindi ko namalayang ako na pala ang pinag-uusapan nila.

“Who’s my partner, then?” I asked slowly.

“As usual, si Terrence,” napatingin ako kay Terrence na nakangisi sa akin.

Simula nang mag-aral ako rito ay ako na ang kinukuhang modelo dahil alam nilang modelo ako. At dahil g’wapo si Terrence, siya ang pina-partner sa akin. He’s a second year Tourism student, matangkad, g’wapo, at malakas talaga ang hatak kaya hindi na rin kataka-taka na siya ang kinukuhang model ng school. May pagkapilyo nga lang. He used to do passes on me but I always take him down. Hindi ko siya type. Pero mabait naman siya.

Natapos ang meeting na ‘yon na medyo preoccupied ako. Pero pinilit ko pa ring makinig at mag-jot down dahil kailangan ko rin ‘yon, kahit hindi ako gaanong nakakasunod sa usapan.

Nakatingin ako sa kawalan habang nakaupo sa isang kiosk, waiting for my first subject’s time, nang may umupo sa katapat kong upuan habang nakangisi at nakatingin sa akin. Noong una ay hindi ko pinansin at bumaling lang sa kabilang banda ng lugar. Ilang segundo pa bago ko napagtanto kung sino ‘yon. Mabilis akong bumaling muli doon at umayos ng upo nang makita kung sino ‘yon.

“Ajax! Why are you here? Are you really stalking me?!” I exclaimed but still manage to lower down my voice. There are some students here, nakakahiya kung bigla akong mag-eskandalo.

He flashed a cute smile. “I am not stalking you. It’s just destiny.” He looked at me with satisfaction, his brows were moving up and down.

“Anong destiny pinagsasabi mo r’yan. Why are you here? Kanina sa condo tower ko, ngayon… dito? What the hell is happening?” I asked, confused and accusing him silently of stalking me here.

“This is where I transferred. I already told you, right? The condo tower is near the school that’s why my father chose that for me, I agreed. I didn’t know you’re living there. And this school…” he looked around before looking back at me. “This is one of the universities my friend suggested since he’s also studying here. I also didn’t know you’re studying here. Until I saw your face on the dean’s office earlier.” He explained. But still not enough to make me believe.

“Why are you here so early? Hindi ba ay kalilipat mo lang at mukhang maglilinis ka pa sa unit mo.”

“Oh, that. My mom took care of that.”

“And you’re still letting your parents decide for you.”

He flashed a smile, “yeah, I am letting them. Because I am still not sure about my decision in life. We’re both freshmen, are you already deciding for yourself?”

Umirap ako sa kaniya. He still are a boy. Blade’s too far from this guy, I see. And why am I comparing my man to this guy?

“Of course. I don’t want to let them decide for my whole life, dictate me what to do, because I can decide for my own sake.”

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ang usapan namin doon dahil may klase pa ako. Nagpaalam ako sa kaniya at dumiretso na sa room ko for my first subject.

After class I got out of my room and immediately went to the gate because Blade is already there, waiting for me. Napahinga ako nang malalim nang makita siyang nakatayo at nakahalukipkip sa gilid ng kaniyang sasakyan. I smiled while walking towards him. He’s damn handsome wearing his uniform.

“Hi!” I greeted when I was already in front of him.

Agad siyang umayos ng tayo at mas lalong lumapit sa akin. He kissed my forehead before hugging me.

“How was your day?” he asked while still hugging me. Maraming estudyante pero hindi namin ‘yon inalintana.

“Fine. Medyo busy lang dahil maraming ginagawa sa ngayon.” Kumalas ako sa yakap niya at tiningnan siya. “May intrams kami next week, we could bring outsiders. Are you free on Saturday next week? I want to… bring you with me.” Umiwas ako ng tingin. “Though, you might get bored.”

He c****d his head on the other side, watching me intently. “I don’t have class on Saturday next week. I will be with you. And I’m sure, you’ll make sure I won’t be bored there, right?” I smiled at him widely then I nodded.

Umuwi na kami pagkatapos naming mananghalian. Hinatid niya lang ako at umalis na rin siya dahil pinapapunta siya ng daddy niya sa kompanya nila. Kaya naman buong hapon kong ginawa ang mga kailangan kong gawin.

“Ang aga naman ‘ata ng photoshoot na ‘yan,” sarkastikong sambit ko habang katawagan ang manager ko sa cellphone.

Natawa siya, “I know you’re busy at school, darling. At… 7pm to 10pm lang p’wedeng mag-shoot ang mga modelo ng agency, alam mo ‘yan. Kaunti lang naman din ang gagawin mo. Same partner kaya hindi ka na mahihirapan. It’s just a teen gown you’ll model.” Tumango ako kahit hindi niya nakikita.

“Okay, buti na lang at hindi naman ako gaanong busy tomorrow night, kung hindi kailangan kong tumanggi sa ‘yo, ma.”

“I know, I know, and I understand. Kaya tinanong muna kita kung okay ka sa oras bukas. Urgent lang talaga at biglaan dahil biglang tumawag ang may-ari at gustong sa susunod na araw ay may output na agad!” she sound so stressed out of this.

“Alright, ma. Punta na lang ako r’yan before 7pm.”

I ended the call and looked at my ceiling. Hindi ako nagrereklamo sa trabahong ito… as a model, kaakibat na talaga namin ang magulo at biglaang schedule. Kaya kailangan ay lagi kang handa kung hindi ay mawawalan ka ng opportunity sa offer na ‘yon. I am also using the money I am earning for my savings… some necessity. This is all for me.

Nakatulugan ko ang ginagawa at nagising kinabukasan para pumasok sa eskwelahan. I was about to walk towards the elevator when I saw someone familiar went out of one of the units here in this floor. Then he stopped too when he saw me.

What a coincidence that we’re on the same condo, same floor, and even same university!

“Oh! Vea!” He called me before walking fast towards me. “Good morning!” He greeted enthusiastically.

“Good morning, start na ng klase mo today?” I asked.

Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa elevator.

“Uh, actually no. Mamaya pang 11am ang klase ko. May dadaanan lang ako. My mother’s clothing line. I’ll drop off then tambay ng ilang oras bago ako pumasok.” He explained.

“Wala kang magawa sa unit mo?” I asked when we’re inside the elevator.

He shrugged, “wala, e. Kaya mas gugustuhin ko munang tumambay kay mommy bago ako pumasok. My friends are busy,”

Nagkwentuhan pa kami roon ng kaunti hanggang sa makarating kami ng basement. Blade’s already waiting for me here kaya rito na rin ako dumiretso. Then I saw him leaning on his BMW while his gaze held mine.

Madilim. Mariin. At nakakatakot. Umayos siya ng tayo at nagpamulsa habang papalapit ako sa kaniya.

“Dito na ako,” paalam ni Ajax nang matapat sa kaniyang sasakyan.

Nagpaalam din ako at kumaway bago nagpatuloy papunta kay Blade na hindi naman kalayuan ang kotse. He looked at Ajax piercingly. I pursed my lips before stopping in front of him.

“Sino ‘yon?” he asked, still not tearing his eyes off Ajax whose already drive off the basement.

“Ah, just a friend. Nakilala ko siya sa birthday party ni daddy last month sa San Jose. And uhm… he’s also my neighbor here.” I explained. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko dapat itago sa kaniya ang lahat. He’s my boyfriend. He has the right to know and to ask. Kaya ipinaliwanag ko.

His dark gaze held mine. I bit my lower lip and looked away.

“A friend huh,” he scoffed.

I smiled hesitantly at him, “alam kong hindi mawawala sa ‘yo ang pag-iisip na baka… pinaglalaruan lang kita. Na gaya noon, mabilis akong magsawa sa relasyon, at na gagawin ko sa ‘yon pero—”

“That’s not my point here. I saw that… he likes you. I can see it in his eyes. And yes, maybe you’re right, I’m afraid you might break up with me because—”

“I won’t do that, Blade.” I said as I look deep into his eyes.

He sighed before nodding. Lumapit siya sa akin at kinuha ang kamay ko bago ako marahang hinila palapit sa kaniya. Niyakap niya ako habang hinahalikan ang aking buhok at sentido.

“I don’t want to end up like s**t because you break up with me, Veatrice.” He whispered.

Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit at nagsumiksik sa kaniyang dibdib. Matangkad na ako pero hanggang dibdib niya pa rin ang paningin ko. Mas matangkad pa rin siya.

“I… I already told you before… I never felt like this — smitten towards someone, ever. Kaya hindi ko gagawin ang iniisip mo. I… have enough and valid reasons why I broke up with my exes.” I gulp and don’t know if I should continue. Maniniwala kaya siya kung sakaling… sabihin ko ang totoo?

We still have time to talk here. About this. Maaga pa naman at hindi kami parehong nagmamadali.

“Hmm? What is it? Care to tell me?” he asked slowly.

Lumayo ako sa pagkakayakap niya at tiningnan siya. Bumuntong hininga ako bago nag-iwas ng tingin.

“I know you saw me as… a playgirl. Hindi seryoso sa relasyon. Mabilis magsawa. But… that’s not it. Hindi dahil doon. I know boys has this desire they really want to fulfill by their partners. At a young age, my eyes were already widely open to that thing. Maganda ako, kilala ang pamilya ko, kilala ako bilang modelo, kaya siguro akala ng mga nagiging boyfriend ko noon na basta-basta lang akong babae.” I look at him. “Nakikipaghiwalay ako sa kanila kapag… alam kong hihingiin na nila ang bagay na ‘yon sa akin. I’m still young. We still are.”

Napalunok ako hindi kinaya ang titig na ibinibigay niya sa akin. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin habang inaalala at sinusubukang alalahanin lahat ng mga naging karanasan ko sa past relationships ko.

“I know my self-worth. At… isa ang pagpapahalaga ko sa p********e ko roon. I won’t give myself to someone I don’t know really well, or to someone I can’t see I will spend my entire life with. Gusto ko… sa taong mahal ko at alam kong pahahalagahan ako. I don’t care if everybody see me as a playgirl, papalit-palit ng boyfriend every week or every month, dahil wala naman silang alam. I tell you this because… I think you should know. If you won’t understand me, it’s okay. I’m fine with it. That’s your perspective on me. Wala na akong mababago roon kahit… patunayan ko sa ‘yo na totoo lahat ng sinasabi ko.” I smiled sadly at him.

I saw how his jaw clenched. Lips in a thin line. His face in a grim expression. Not talking at all. He lets me talk. He listened. It’s up to him if he will understand me.

“That’s a very good thing you did,” napatingin ako sa kaniya nang bigla niyang sabihin ‘yon. “Those bastard boy doesn’t deserve you. You don’t deserve that kind of relationship either.” Lumapit siya at niyakap muli ako. “And all I can say is… I am proud of you… for ending those relationship kapag alam mong hindi na tama at iyon na agad ang hinihingi sa ‘yo kahit na bago pa lang kayo.” He kissed my cheek.

Nanubig ang gilid ng mga mata ko at niyakap siya nang mahigpit.

“And I understand you in this matter. I’m sorry for my past actions. I’m sorry for judging too harshly before. I am proud that you refused them. And thank you for telling me this.”

Hindi ko alam kung nakit tumulo ang luha ko dahil doon. This is the first time I opened this up to someone. Kahit kay Theo at Dane ay hindi ko ito nasabi. And to say this to Blade is kind of a relief for me. Na para bang pagkatapos kong sabihin sa kaniya lahat ng ito ay gumaan talaga ang nararamdaman ko. His prejudice of me were already changed even before I say this to him but I know he’s still not comfortable of me being friendly with other guy.

My mom told me that I shouldn’t refuse nor say no to everyone if I can do it. Iyon ang pinatatak niya sa isip. Without her knowing how hard it is to take the responsibility for other, because she said I shouldn’t say no. Siguro dapat ay depende sa hinihinging pabor sa ‘yo. Dinala ko ang sinabi niya sa akin pero hindi ko naman madalas sundin. She said that to me so that I can always follow her whims. So that I can obey them. Na kahit hindi ko kaya… kailangan kong gawin.

Kaya kapag hinihingi na ‘yon ng mga naging karelasyon ko noon, I always refuse. I always say no. Kasi alam kong hindi ko ‘yon kayang gawin. And I think it’s not that bad to say no and refuse a favor if you can’t do it.