Shattered Identity: The Unknown Luna Princess

Chapter 2

"That night? No, he didn't hit me, but he definitely knew how to use his words to bring me down a peg or two. He hit me once in college when the football team lost at the last minute, but there was a lot of alcohol involved. I hit him back and told him never to lay a hand on me again. I must have hit him harder than expected, so it never happened again, but that didn't stop him from verbally and emotionally abusing me. It only got really bad after we were married, and he started working at that prestigious engineering firm that it got really bad. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I was never skinny enough. I didn't make enough money. So when I worked more, he turned that into I wasn't home enough. The house was never cleaned right, and the dinner was never cooked to his liking. It wasn't until he would leave on work trips, and I started hanging out with some work friends that I realized how emotionally and verbally abusive he was."

She looked at me with pity in her eyes, but with these margaritas in me, I finally felt like I could let it all out. Even with her knowing most of what I went through, she never knew the extent of it. "I never told you this, or anyone for that matter, but when I had finally had enough and wanted out, I didn't have the courage to leave. So I cheated on him, hoping he'd find out and leave me."

That definitely shocked her, but in true best friend fashion, she responded with, "Dang, get it, girl!" before we both broke out in laughter. "Well, he never found out, and he didn't take me seriously when I told him we needed to go to counseling, so I finally mustered up the courage to leave and go to my brothers house. Then, all of a sudden, he took the threat seriously and booked an appointment with a counselor. It was there I finally opened up about the forced s*x and how nothing I did was ever good enough. She had made me move back in when we started counseling, but once we started our one-on-one sessions and I opened up to her without fear that he'd hear what I was saying, I learned he was a sociopath. Even my therapist told me to run!"

"Smart woman," she said once I stopped talking. "I'm glad you were able to get out. Most women end up so broken and damaged they never build up the courage to leave." "Me too," I told her as we both downed the last of our drinks. We had finished our food, and she paid the bill, claiming she wanted to treat me, but knowing her, she picked up the tab because she knew I was worried about being able to pay my bills.

I thought we were calling it a night, but as we walked out the front doors, she asked, "Where to next?" "What do you mean? Don't you have to work tomorrow?" I had taken the day off tomorrow from my mentally demanding job, knowing I'd probably want some time to myself. Yea, I'm just the assistant manager at a grocery store, but I basically ran the place. The store manager acted more like a cashier and left everything to me, from placing orders to making sure the shelves were stocked to making the schedule. I just needed a break from it all.

"I took tomorrow off," she said with a mischievous smile. "It's Thursday night. Let's go downtown to the bars and see what kind of trouble we can get into. I already called us a ride," she said while shaking her phone in the air.

"Dressed like this?" I asked, looking down at my tight fitted jeans and spaghetti-strap crop top I had on under the cardigan sweater I had worn to the courthouse. I had been a little on the thicker side once I stopped playing sports, but the stress of the separation and divorce helped me lose another fifty pounds. My wardrobe and confidence definitely changed with the body change.

"What do you mean, dressed like that? You look hot as f**k! Look at that ass, girl!" She gave it a little spank, and we both started laughing. Just then, our ride pulled up. We hopped in, and the driver took off, already knowing where we were heading from the information she put in when ordering the ride.

Fifteen minutes later, we were downtown, surrounded by others dressed to impress. Was this the life I was getting myself back into as a divorced twenty-six-year-old? God, I hope not. Just the thought of dating again stresses me out. I've heard stories from people about how all those dating apps out there are only used for hook-ups. I don't think I'm that kind of person. Or maybe I am? I don't know who I am really, but I'm excited to finally find out.

"Hello? Earth to Lena." I must have been so deep in my own thoughts I hadn't heard a word Candice was saying to me since we stepped out of the car. "Sorry," I said, while lightly shaking my head and clearing all the thoughts and feelings racing through me at the moment. "Stuck in my own head."

"I figured as much. That's why I wanted to bring you out. Get out of your head for once and let loose. I got you." Candice grabbed my hand and started pulling me along. It had been so long since I'd been downtown that I didn't even recognize any of the bars here anymore. My ex and I used to come down here early into our marriage to meet up with some of his old high school pals when they'd come home from college for the holidays, but after he started his job, he was afraid coming down here would damage his image. The only places we ended up going were to wine bars with some of his older colleagues. I didn't even like wine, but I had to learn.

Again, I was so stuck in my head I hadn't even realized we were in the first of I'm sure, many bars we were to visit tonight. "Two lemon drop shots and two corona lights, please," I heard Candice order. "Shots?" I asked her. She only looked at me with a mischievous smile when the bartender placed the drink in front of us. She took one of the beers and slid the two shots in front of me. "Drink up," she said with a wink.

I picked up one of the shots and knocked it back. It was surprisingly good. I waited another minute before knocking the second one back, then placing the shot glass back on the bar and picking up the beer left there for me and walking away from the bar.

Oh boy. What have I gotten myself into tonight?