Prologue
Facades.
I built all these facades to protect myself. You hated it when I was so different, you wanted the real me. You wanted me to let all of me out. All my anger. The sadness, that had accumulated in me. The despair, that often did not let me sleep. All my fears.
So, I fought against all the facades I had built over the years. I allowed myself to show weakness. To show if something hurt me. Not being the cold girl who seemed not to care.
I fought until my ankles got sore. My facades began to crumble and much of it disappeared.
You made me believe that it was okay to show who I really was ... who I really am.
It was not, it was not "okay" because now that you really know me, you don't want me anymore.
And for a second I remembered.
A moment when nothing had changed.
You were the same person I fell in love with. Time wasn't a problem for us.
We never had to fight about misunderstandings, and the force to talk about little things didn't exist either.
We took the time for more important things.
Your doubts did not exist, just as well as my insecurities.
In this memory of us we had never brought anything between us, especially not others.
You had never hurt me so much that it drove me insane and I never had to learn how hard it was to forgive.
You never had your anger and grief so grown and I never fell asleep with the feeling that I wasn't good enough.
But it was just one out of thousand memories.
And somewhere else, in another universe maybe, we belong together.
But we're stuck here.
In this other universe, we will be able to make it work. We'll be happy.
The problem is, it does not matter how many times or how much you hurt me, I can't stay away. And since all my facades disappeared you are the thing that keeps me together. My home.
So, I will stay. And even though I already fell apart for you I will still stay.
Because I am your facade. And for you, I will decay one more time. For you, I will break once again.
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Disclaimer
Metanoia - The Age of Innocence is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events, incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or have been used in a fictitious manner.
Copyright
Copyright © 2020 by nwrittenthoughts
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
