MEND MY SOUL

It is raining cats and dogs outside. Kids are running to get inside the shelters and cover themselves, cars splashing water on people walking on the sideways as they drive through. Siyamthanda Nyathi is in his office working through some paperwork, managing a company on his own is quite challenging at times. Everything must be handled by him, he is thinking of hiring more extra help to minimize the workload. "The serial killer is still on the move. At least 20 bodies have been found this month and it seems like the numbers are rising. The killer has no pattern with his/her killings, making it hard for the police to identify who the killer is. Residents are advised to be on the look out always the time, and not be outside when it's dark. ", The news lady reports. Siya sighs and continued with his work, the serial killing has been going on for months. Police have not found who he/she is, they must be very good at covering their tracks. A knock comes through his office and he shouts come in softly. His assistant peeps his head inside and let him know that his brother is here to see him. He tells him to let him through. Sikho graces him with his presence shortly. He stands up to greet him. Siya:I didn't think I'd be seeing you soon. Sikho:I miss my little brother. Is that a crime? Siya:Not at all. Let's sit down. Sikho:You've done well for yourself here bro. The place looks sophisticated. Siya:I try. So what brings you here really? Sikho:I need your help. Siya:What have you done this time? Sikho:I kind of hit my baby mamma, now she is arresting me.  Siya:Why did you hit her in the first place?  Sikho:I didn't mean to. I just lost control.  Siya chuckled and swang his pen around the desk.  Siya:That's what every abuser says. "I just lost control".  Sikho swallowed and looked away.  Siya:So what do you need me to do?  Sikho:You're a powerful man. Can't you like bribe the police or something? I can't go to jail, again.  Siya:I hear you, I will see what I can do. Sikho:Thank you so much. Let me be on my way, see you later.  Siya:Okay bye....  He stood up and left.  Sikho is the older brother and his only siblings, he is currently unemployed and is a trouble maker. Even prison couldn't tame him, as much as he is older than him but he is irresponsible. He always clean up after his mess and now he has to clean up after him, again. He wonders when he will grow up, he has a child to look after but he is acting like a child himself. But then, if his parents sees nothing wrong with his behavior there's none he can do; he's not their favorite after all.  He gets in touch with the commissioner of the police station and they assure him that no charges will be placed on his brother.  He sends him a text and he replies back thanking him.  He checks his watch and it's knock off time, he packs his things and heads out to the parking lot getting inside his brand new car.  He roars the engine and drives off to his house.  .  .  .  15 years, 15 bloody years! Since I've been in this place. I step out of the prison and feel the sun hit my skin. I sigh out loud relieved and feel all sort of emotions overwhelming me. I have missed out on so much, I haven't been outside for 15 years. Prison isn't a place for saints, it breaks you and changes you into something that you yourself can't even recognize. If you think you're going to come in here and it will be all roses, then you are truly mistaken. Everyone in here is looking out for her/himself, it's survival of the fittest. My first time in here, I told myself that I won't cause any troubles, I'll be on my best behavior so that they can give me parole;but I was so wrong. The first month showed me flames, I was only 20 years old, doing my second year. I was so lost and had no clue what goes on behind bars. I learnt the hard way, some things I don't even want to relive because of how traumatic they were.  I wipe the tear that had fallen off my face and my finger rubs against the big scar across my cheek. I look like a thug, I'm no longer that beautiful, light skinned, innocent Nokuzola. This place has changed me into someone I don't know.  I got this scar during a fight. I have many scars hidden under my body. Which is why I don't need anyone seeing me naked.  A car parks next to me, it's windows are dimmed. The door opens and she gets out. Oh my God! She still looks the same.  I become emotional instantly and try to hug her but she steps away. I look down embarrassed. Is she ashamed of me?  "Aunt Nomtha said I must come and fetch you. Can we please hurry? I have somewhere to be", you can feel the attitude and annoyance laced in her voice.  She has grown up so much. I last saw her when she was 6 years old, she must be 21 now. She has done well for herself if this is her car, she is also dressed smartly in black pants and a blouse showing off her white shirt underneath.  She taps her watch and gets on the driver's side. I stand still not knowing what to do. Am I supposed to open?  The door magically opens and she looks at me in annoyance. I bring my ass inside the car before she can get more upset.  She drives off while humming softly. I have so many things I want to say to her, but I don't know where to start ;and it doesn't look like she is even ecstatic to see me. Not that I blame her by the way, she hasn't seen me for 15 years. I just want to hug her and tell her my side of the story so that she can understand why I did what I did.  I keep on looking at her as she is driving. Something looks different with her arm, it wasn't like this.  Finally we arrive at the destination and the car stops. She steps out and I follow after her.  I look at the house in front of me, it is really huge. Even the gate on its own looks incredibly fancy and expensive.  She opens it using a remote and I follow her like a puppy. It's only the sound of her high heels clicking on the ground that are making any noise.  We enter inside the house and I can't help but admire how nice and beautiful the place is.  "Aunt Nomtha is at work but she will be back soon. I have to be somewhere so you can stay here and wait for her. There is the kitchen if you need something to eat. I will see you later", she says and walks out.  I sigh and sit down on the couch still holding my bag that has only a towel, pants, shirt and an old worn out panty.  I feel so out of place here, everything screams money. Nomtha really outdid herself. I decide to take a tour around the house to keep myself busy.  I notice a wall of pictures plastered. I take a closer look and it was Nomtha, some with her mother and father. What caught my attention though, was the one with Lungelo. Lungelo my supposed boyfriend, they looked pretty cosy and there were two girl children standing in front of them.  I held my chest as I came to a realization that they could be in a relationship. Could they really do that to me?  I breath in and out and calm myself down.  I went back to the couch and sat down.  A while later, I heard people talking out loud from outside. It must be four people if I'm not mistaken, there are also children. I can tell by the squeaky voices.  "But mom you said you will buy us some ice cream", a voice says and the footsteps grow closer.  They all walk inside and meet me already standing. They stop on their tracks when they see me. I feel my chest tightening at what I'm seeing. Lungelo is also here with them. Could he be here to see me? Maybe she told him I would be coming back today.  I catch a glimpse of a ring on their fingers and I gulp down my dry saliva.  "Are the two of you married?", that's the only thing I could mutter from my lips.  .  .  .  To other people, I may seem as if I was being rude to Nokuzola. But, I haven't seen her for a whole 15 years. I was 6 years old when she was arrested and I'm now 21.  She hasn't been a part of my life for all these years, I grew up not knowing my mother. The only memories I have of her was when I was young, and I really don't remember much.  What am I supposed to say to her?  Lindokuhle keeps on brushing my arm softly.  Lindo:I don't like seeing you sad babe.  Kukhanya:I know babe, I'm just feeling all sorts of emotions. I don't know what to say to her. I haven't seen her for years. She didn't want me to visit her in jail. Was she really that disgusted by my sight? Or she doesn't love me enough?  Lindokuhle : Please don't talk like that. I'm sure she didn't want you to see her like that. Give it time and you will talk with her when you are comfortable.  Kukhanya:Thank you. I will do so.  Lindokuhle :Now let's go out for lunch. I'm hungry.  We have been dating for like a year now. Lindokuhle is the boyfriend every girl dreams of having, he treats me with respect, love and care. We do argue from time to time but he always reminds me that he loves me. I am blessed to have him actually, he found me at my lowest.  . .  .  NOKUZOLA  I'm still looking at them waiting for an answer. Nomtha tells the kids to go to their room and they go.  They ask me to sit down.  Nomtha:I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I know you may feel betrayed or something, but it wasn't my intention to make you feel like that. Me and Lungelo got together three years after you were arrested. We were both dwelling in misery over your arrest and one thing led to another.  Nokuzola:Lungelo?  I looked at him, hoping he would say they were pulling a prank on me.  Lungelo :We are sorry. We should have told you.  Nokuzola:I thought I was your girlfriend. You told me that you loved me and that you would wait for me.  Lungelo:You are really being selfish right now Zola. Did you really expect me to wait for you for 15 years!? Life goes on, sweetheart. I got tired of waiting. Me and Nomtha are married. Akucace kuthi bha lokho(Let that sink in).  Nokuzola:So you thought to go for my friend? My best friend whom I considered as a sister?