Her hidden darkness.

Taking each day as it comes.

Her alarm stole her from her dreams, it was loud and invasive, like a foghorn. Kerry groaned and rolled over to check the time, 5am, she reset the alarm for in 20 minutes time, as she would rather have the extra 20 minutes in bed and have to rush a bit getting ready for work then get up now. It seemed to only be 5 minutes of sleeping again before it rudely interrupted her. Kerry sighed and sat up on the edge of the bed, she looked over at her partner of 5 years who was still asleep and smiled sadly to herself. Kerry got out of bed and collected her uniform from its usual spot, got clean underwear and socks and exited their bedroom as quietly as she could. With her mind on auto pilot, Kerry came down the stairs and put the kettle on to make herself a cup of tea, she hated the bitter taste of coffee so tea had to do for a morning pick me up, she liked Earl grey tea, with 3 sugars to give her the sweetness she desired and a splash of milk. Once the kettle had boiled and the tea was made, Kerry sat outside and cradled her cup with a cigarette, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time as she prepared herself for another day at work.

Ready to head to work, Kerry gave her partner Liam a quick kiss and they muttered their usual “love you” and “have a good day at work” to each-other before she went out the door. It was just going 6:15 am and was nearly pitch black outside still, there was hardly any traffic on the road with it being the weekend, the only light that Kerry could see as she started her walk to her first call of the day was the lights from the local shop, where she would pick up a fizzy drink for while she did her round. Kerry worked in care, visiting the homes of the elderly, sick and people with ailments who needed assistance to live at home independently. Once Kerry had picked up her usual fruity flavoured fizzy drink, she left the shop and lit another cigarette as she walked. Kerry was only 5ft tall and was a curvy sized 14, she had a small waist in comparison to her hips, bum and thighs, creating an almost pear shape to her appearance. She had dark brown eyes and dyed purple shoulder length hair which was currently tied up into a ponytail, under her uniform she was hiding tattoos and a couple of piercings, she also had her upper lip pierced, her septum pierced and a stretched ear. Kerry’s uniform was a blue tunic, with a white band around the short sleeves and the collar, black gym pants and a pair of black trainers, she wasn’t bothered about brands, she never had been, if it was comfortable it did the job, especially for work.

As she walked through the quiet streets, having to use her phone for light in some places as the street lights were terrible, her mind couldn’t help but wander back to last night. Yet again, her Liam had rejected her advances, she wouldn’t usually mind but it’s been nearly 3 weeks and he doesn’t seem to want to spend time with her, he didn’t even say goodnight or love you before he rolled over and went to sleep, this was the worst, even after their biggest arguments they always said goodnight and love you to eachother before they went to sleep. Kerry couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t want her anymore and wished silently to herself that their relationship wasn’t reaching its end.

However glum she felt about her home life, Kerry walked into her first call of the day with her usual cheery smile and called hello to her first client of the day, she always did her best to avoid her personal life effecting her work performance in any way, the way she saw it was that the people she cared for had enough worries and troubles of their own and didn’t need her woes darkening their doorstep. The day breezed by as she chatted with her clients while she assisted them with personal care, preparing and cooking their meals, administering medication and general housework, she enjoyed her job very much, it was a long 14-15 hour day and by the time she got home she was beyond tired, but she knew that she had made a difference to someone’s day. Kerry would then have her evening meal which would be almost cooked by the time she got in by Liam and they would watch whichever show they were watching at the time while they ate before she went up to bed, aiming to sleep before midnight before she was up early to do it all again.

Liam was a handsome man, he had brown wavy hair and stood at around 5ft 4, he was lean but also slightly muscular and had tattoos wrapping themselves around his arms, the chocolate brown eyes she loved as-well as freckles dotted around his face. Liam was the first man who ever made her feel truly in love, they met through the internet and since the first time they met in person they had never spent more then 2 weeks apart, he was kind in ways her previous boyfriends/ partners weren’t. He hadn’t done anything to ever purposefully hurt her, they had just drifted apart somehow and hadn’t even realised it before it was painfully obvious. The silence was the worst, he didn’t seem to want to converse with her about anything but the basic essentials and physically the relationship was dead too, no cuddles, no intimacy, nothing. Kerry loved him enough though to try, to keep feeling the sting of his rejection just to let him know that she still cared enough to crave these things from him, even if he didn’t want them from her.