Her hidden darkness.

The night continues.

Kerry threw her cigarette end down a drain and went into the bar, her eyes found Marissa, who was grinding and moving her body against the man from earlier, she locked eyes with Kerry and they both grinned at each-other, Kerry winked at her and popped back over to the bar for more drinks. The bartender finished serving up his last customer, came over to the side of the bar Kerry was leaning on and grinned.

“Been a while Ker, you wanting your usual?”

“Nah, I might change it up a bit, gimme 4 tequilas please?” Kerry answered smiling back, she couldn’t help but smile at the cheeky barman, he always made sure the bar had a good atmosphere, was friendly, funny and being honest devilishly handsome.

“Sure thing, rough day?” He asked casually but with the slightest hint of concern, Kerry always drank the same drink, he’d never actually served her anything else.

“Rough life” Kerry laughed as he got the shot glasses and lined them up on the bar, he chuckled and turned to get the bottle of tequila, before filling up the shots and placing salt beside and a slice of lemon on top of each one.

Kerry pushed one over to him “one for you?”

“Well it’s my lucky night being bought shots by a pretty lady! I suppose it’d be rude not too” he winked, Kerry laughed at him as they clinked glasses and downed the shots, then she downed the last two.

“I better get another two and give one to Rissa, two more please barkeep” Kerry realised she had drunk Rissa’s shot aswell!

“Sure thing chicken”

Kerry whistled to Rissa as it was the only way she’d be able to hear her over the music, voices blend in easy when there’s so many, especially with loud music in the background, so Kerry and Marissa had come up with the whistle so they’d know if one ever wanted the other.

Two sharp whistles and Marissa looked around before locking eyes with Kerry and noticing the two shots on the bar, she lifted up a finger to the man she was dancing with to let him know she’d be back in a minute and came running over.

“Thanks babes” Rissa shouted in Kerry’s ears, she seemed wasted already, she must of had a few herself while Kerry was outside earlier.

“No problem gorgeous” Kerry answered before she gestured to the drinks.

They both put the salt on one hand and held their shots in the other.

“To shitty childhoods” Kerry laughed as she raised her salt as a toast

“ and to even shittier ex boyfriends” Marissa joined in and raised her salt hand too. They both licked the salt, downed the tequila and sucked their lemon slices before laughing at each-other’s tequila faces.

“Mind if I…”Marissa’s eyes wandered back over to her new man friend who was also looking at her while drinking with his friends at the bar.

“Go have fun beautiful! That’s what our nights are always about, I’ll probably pop out for another smoke, if you need me..?”

“ I know where you are” Rissa smiled widely at her before shimmying over to the dancefloor and smiling at the man who danced over to her before they started grinding and writhing on eachother once again.

Kerry shook her head and laughed, Marissa loved a good dance and flirt on a night out, Kerry didn’t mind, they’d been friends long enough that they were both comfortable doing their own thing while out together and knew that one would never go off without the other, if one wanted to go somewhere else, the other would follow, it was just too dangerous to abandon or leave your girls out alone these days, as-well as downright rude.

As Kerry popped out the door, the barman, Sam, followed her out for a smoke himself. Kerry popped herself on the little wall she sat on every time she came to this bar and needed a smoke, the wall was only about 4ft tall and was directly opposite the bar, blocking off the back of an apartment building from the pathway. The barman leant against the wall stood next to her and they both enjoyed the silence for a few moments while they smoked.

“It’s nice to sit with someone who doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence with mindless chatter” Kerry admitted.

“Likewise, they say silence is golden” Sam replied “ how’s the boyfriend?”

“Yeah he’s alright, probably sleeping away at home” Kerry smiled, though the quick look of sadness couldn’t be missed by an observant eye “ what about you Sam, how’s the wife?”

“Let’s just say I’m relieved when I’m at work at the moment” he laughed “ this last term of pregnancy has been a struggle for us both”

“How longs left now?”

“Just under 3 weeks” Sam smiled “ a little boy we’ve been told at the last scan”

“Congratulations to you both! Make sure you send Chloe my best wishes won’t you? I hope the labours an easy one for her” Kerry loved babies and young children, so small and innocent but all with such different personality’s and characters. The resilience in young children was also something she admired.

Sams wife Chloe was probably the most beautiful woman she’d ever laid her eyes on, between them both being ridiculously good looking, this little baby boy was bound to be a heartbreaker from the day he’s born.

“Sure thing Ker, she misses coming to the bar and seeing all our regulars! Even the ones who don’t come very often” he dramatically replied.

Kerry just laughed at him, Sam threw his cigarette on the floor and gave Kerry a small smirk before going back to work behind the bar. Marissa came out as he was going in and stumbled up to Kerry with sad eyes.

“I’m hungry Ker” she slurred

“Come on lovely let’s go get some cheesy garlic bread” Kerry linked arms with Rissa and they walked down to the pizza place tucked between two bars, it was the best pizza place she had ever been too, although she wasn’t sure if that was because she was drunk every time she went there.

They ordered a large cheesy garlic bread, cheesy chips for Kerry and garlic mushrooms for Marissa. Kerry knew she’d be sleeping on the couch tonight as soon as Marissa ordered them, as when Marissa had garlic mushrooms, she often took them to bed and fell asleep with them, waking to them all over the bed and all in her hair. Kerry hated mushrooms, the thought made her gag.

They took the boxes of hot food and stumbled down the path past the rest of the clubs which were still full of life and onto the main road where there was always taxis waiting to take the club goers home when they were ready. Kerry and Marissa jumped into the first taxi in the queue and told him the address they needed, he drove them there quickly and quietly and within ten minutes they were both outside Marissa’s door with her bag wide open searching for her door keys. The familiar jangle was soon heard in the bottom of the bag as they felt around inside it and Kerry opened Marissa’s door while Marissa whined about her feet hurting. Within ten minutes they were sat on the couch, in their pjs eating cheesy garlic bread together and reminiscing about their evening.

“ I love you so much Ker” Marissa leant on her best friends shoulder as they wolfed the food down.

“ I love you too Riss” Kerry leant her head ontop of Marissa’s and they both continued eating almost silently, with the occasional moan of satisfaction, this cheesy garlic bread was really something else.

“ I’m so tired” Rissa yawned, almost incoherently “ I’m going to take my mushrooms upto bed I think, are you coming Ker?”

“I’m fine thanks babes, I’m gonna watch some telly on the couch and wind down I think” Kerry half lied, she did like to sleep with a telly on unlike Marissa, she found listening to the telly while she went to sleep helped keep her mind from wandering to the past, but mostly she didn’t want to wake up in garlic mushrooms.

Marissa climbed the stairs in her pj set, a pink silky vest with unicorns on, shorts to match and big pink fluffy socks, clutching her garlic mushrooms in one hand and the hand rail in another. Kerry heard her throw herself onto the bed and within 5 minutes she was snoring away. Kerry turned on the tv and put on some stand up comedy while she picked at her cheesy chips and got comfortable under a fluffy blanket, Kerry was wearing an oversized black tshirt, well it was more like a men’s XXL, it was very baggy and came down to nearly her knees, but she loved sleeping in her big shirts, they seemed more comfortable then nighties. Kerry giggled quietly at the comedians, especially the ones with a darker sense of humour and before she knew it, she herself was fighting to keep her eyelids open, then she fells asleep cuddling into Marissa’s dog, a brindle Staffordshire bull terrier that Marissa had had as long as they had known eachother called Sky. Kerry was once again plagued with dreams of her past which intertwined with the present, very weird and sometimes horrific dreams, after whimpering and tossing and turning for a while, Kerry shot up, forehead covered in sweat and unable to get back to sleep.