What Loving You Cost Me

Elizabeth’s POV I was pregnant. And I could not wait to share the news to my husband. Tonight might be the second happiest I have ever been since we got married. The first was when he covered my mother’s hospital bills for her cancer treatment. And this is the second, because it took four years to get pregnant for him. Finally, my prayers were answered. Hopefully, this baby will be the reason he starts loving me the way a man loves his wife. A tense feeling settled in as unsettling thoughts crept into the back of my mind. I pushed that feeling away immediately, taking in a deep breath to calm down. Standing in front of the mirror, the only worry left was whether choosing a strapless long black dress would ruin his mood. “Elizabeth,” Daniel called from downstairs. It was a bit odd. For the past three months, he always came home overworked and moody. But tonight, his voice carried a spark. Smiling to myself at the thought of tonight being perfect, I rushed downstairs. As soon as I reached him in the living room, he pulled me into a hug. The suddenness of it made me gasp. For a moment, I just stood there, unsure of what to do. This wasn’t like him. His arms were tight around me, warm in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. Before I could say anything, he pulled back slightly and kissed me. He deepened the kiss, and I struggled to keep up. His hands moved to my waist, squeezing lightly as he pulled me closer. I pushed against his chest to break the kiss, our breaths heavy. “What… is going on?” I asked between breaths. He leaned in again, and I had to pull back. “You don’t want to know,” he said, grinning as he pulled me in for another round of kisses, just as intense. I still couldn’t keep up. His lips trailed from my jaw down to my neck, finding my sensitive spot too easily. “Could you tell me over dinner, please?” I said, my eyes closing as his teeth grazed my neck. I bit my lip lightly. “Dinner?” He pulled back, his eyes searching mine. “I want to have you for dinner,” he said, smiling against my lips as he scooped me up. I couldn’t help but giggle as he carried me upstairs. All I could think about was what could make my husband look this happy. We were both naked in seconds. He hovered over me, his mouth finding my breast, sucking and nibbling before moving down, kissing my stomach. My eyes rolled back as a soft moan slipped out. Just when I thought maybe this time his mouth would find my opening, he stopped. It never happened. Not once since we got together. He always wanted it his way, never caring about mine. As long as he releases, that’s it. I was stupid to think that because he looked genuinely happy, it might be different. He flipped me over so I was on all fours. I shut my eyes tightly, gripping the sheets as he slid inside me and slammed into me hard, like I was nothing more than s*x doll. Once again, I have to fake the moans, fake the orgasm, fake everything… until he’s finished. Our s*x life is nothing to reminisce about. Once he’s done, he just lies there for a second, catching his breath, then gets up and walks to the shower like nothing happened. No glance back. No touch. Nothing. Not a single word of affection. It’s not like he’s ever been affectionate anyway. Not during s*x, not outside of it. Not even in the smallest ways and not even in my dreams. I waited a moment before getting up, then slipped into the shower after him once he was done. By the time I came back, he was already dressed, moving around like everything was normal. Like I wasn’t still trying to steady myself. His eyes met mine. “Dinner is served,” he said casually. “I’m ready to have dessert.” I just nodded, pulling my black dress over my head, smoothing it down like that would somehow fix the way I felt. It never does. After s*x always leaves me like this. Empty. Distant. Like I gave something away and got nothing back. Now, all I could think about was dinner… and what I was about to say. Because tonight, I have to tell him I’m pregnant. And I don’t know which version of him I’m going to get when I do. Once we got downstairs, I pulled out his chair for him before taking mine. The smile on his face hadn’t left as he began digging into his food. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I could barely eat. I didn’t know if I should go first or wait for him to say something. Fortunately, he did. “I had a great day at work today,” he started. That alone was strange. He never talked about work with me. Not even when he lost half of his company’s wealth over the past few months. I had to hear about it from my brother. Why would he tell me anything? I was just a high school dropout. All he did during those months was take his frustration out on me. “Finally signed the billion-dollar deal.” He revealed. “Really? That’s great news,” I said, forcing a smile. He nodded, then stopped eating, his expression turning firm. It made me tense immediately. I knew whatever was coming next might not be something I’d like. “I have everything under control now. But…” he paused, staring straight into my eyes in a way that made my stomach churn. “It came with a cost. And even though what I’m about to say will upset you… or worse… I had to do it.” He continued, his voice steady. “I had to do it. For my company.” He leaned forward. “It’s a long story, but I’ll cut it short.” He went quiet for a moment, and just as I was about to speak, he cut me off. He looked me straight in the eye. “I got engaged.” I dropped my fork. “To the woman whose parents I’m working with.” He said flatly. I let out a short laugh . “Right. Okay,” I nodded slowly. “That’s funny.” And I knew it wasn’t. He was never funny around me. The moment I saw his jaw clench, my hands started to shake uncontrollably. “You’re married to me,” I said, my voice trembling no matter how hard I tried to steady it. “How exactly does that work?” He cleared his throat. “Yes, you’re my wife Elizabeth,” he said, his voice turning cold. “But my business is important to me.” I blinked at him, trying to process the way he said it so easily. Like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. “Important?” I repeated, a hollow laugh slipping out. “More important than your marriage?” He didn’t answer immediately. Why did I even ask that question when I had never meant more than an object to him? An object that stayed hidden. “You’re my wife. That should be enough for you.” He leaned back slightly, like he didn’t see the problem. “I’ve given you everything you have. This life… this house.” A small pause. “I chose you… even when you had nothing.” Tears slid down my face as the thought came back. I wanted to tell him I was pregnant, thinking it would change something. But now… it felt like something I should forget.