The Letter
1782 Words
"You are all dressed up. Where are going at this hour?" Carmen suspiciously asked Alyssa who was about to walk out of the door of her apartment.
She overly heard Aly on the phone a couple of minutes ago, and she was very serious while talking.
She invaded her privacy for a while since her apartment's electricity shut off, so Aly offered her place for the meantime.
"Hey! Answer me", she was very eager to know where Aly was going that night.
"I'm going to meet someone, and let me borrow your car."
Just before Aly totally stepped out of the house, she turned her back and looked at Carmen.
"Don't worry about me." She drove away after waving goodbye.
On her way to the coffee shop, where her boutique was nearby. She realized that she was so affected about the news she heard about Zack.
His cousin told her that he was very upset ever since he came back from the trip and he couldn't get a hold of her. He was so depressed and it made him lose his will to move on from his daily task in life.
Unexpectedly, this afternoon when she was in the supermarket, she accidentally met Darren and Ciara while buying some can of beers. She was trying to avoid them the moment she saw his cousin, but he was quick enough to notice her that she didn't have the chance to hide herself.
Ciara introduced herself and told her how miserable Zack was. She wanted to call Zack and inform him that they found her, but Alyssa begged right away and told them she has no plan of meeting Zack, she actually convinced Ciara and Darren that it was better that way, instead of continue doing the wrong thing. And she asked for Ciara's cooperation to help her say goodbye to him. This is the least she can do.
As much as she wanted to disappear totally and could never be found, she simple cannot convince herself to vanish just like that without even saying goodbye to Zack.
He deserves an explanation. She thought.
Her mind was filled with so many things, and the very first thing that was disturbing her peace was the thought of losing the man she likes.
She stepped on her gas and accelerated.
And by the time she reached her destination, it was past 10 pm when she arrived at the coffee shop.
The place was almost fully occupied, probably because the night breeze was so cold.
She walked inside the shop to meet Ciara Collins.
"Hi!" she smiled warmly as she greeted Ciara who came in earlier and was seating on the table for two beside the glass panel window.
"Hi, have a seat." Ciara responded with her polite voice as she turned to Aly.
"I didn't order for you yet since I knew you were coming a bit late, so what can I offer you now?"
Looking at her face and studying her beauty- she wanted to know why Zack was so attracted to her, and what does Aly has, to be loved by him that much.
"I already placed my order just before I approached you. It'll be here in a few minutes."
"Thanks for coming here. I appreciate" she said, and Ciara just casually smiled at her.
Aly opened her bag and took out a small envelope with a letter inside for Zack. She took a deep breath before she began talking.
"Will you please give this to him?" She slid over the envelope on the table to Ciara's direction, and right after - her gaze fell down on her hands above her lap.
Ciara didn't make a move to touch it. She just took a glimpsed of it and open her mouth.
"Do you think this will comfort him instead? "Ciara's voice began to sound disappointed and her face was a bit gloomy.
"I know for sure, whatever is written there will only torment Zack" Her brows started to furrow.
Aly's head was narrowed down. She was speechless for quite some time.
Her hands was placed over her legs and it was shaking, curling, shaking and clenching over and over again.
Her coffee was delivered, and she took a sip to relax her mind.
Ciara was just waiting for her to speak. She was just looking at Aly and studying her actions towards the fact of losing Zack. Finally... her voice came out after breathing heavily, Aly have spoken.
"Ciara, I appreciate your kindness to h-help..."
"I am not doing this for you!" Ciara uttered before Aly could finish her lines. She was shaken on how frank Ciara was. Aly could feel how special Zack is to her.
"I know." Aly whispered with a cracked voice.
"Thanks for helping Zack." Her eyes was red and it's about to form tears.
She looked away to hide whatever feelings that lies within her orbs as she continue to feel sorry for what she have done in the past.
"If I could only turn back the time, I wouldn't have ran to him and held him close to me."
She felt her heart was being squeezed out and it pained her so much.
"So, do you regret the day you met him?" Ciara asked her in a sarcastic way that she felt the stabbing pain inside her again.
"No that's not what I meant to say Ciara." She explained. "Please hear me out" She began crying.
"I'm not the b***h here!" Ciara's voice raised up once again.
"Stop crying and playing like a victim!" her voice has gone mad and Alyssa cried out helplessly.
"Instead of you crying here, think of a better way of saying goodbye. Zack will not simply buy this drama.
He will run and look for you until he can get a hold of you and hear your voice."
Ciara sounded so sure about Zack's possible reaction.
Over the years of their friendship, she knew Zack very well when he is mad, upset, frustrated and more...
She knew that Zack's world will crash if his heart gets broken.
He never love someone like this before in his entire life that he wanted to give up everything he has for a girl. Even if it takes risking his life.
"What shall I do Ciara?" Aly begged for an answer. Her mind was in deep confusion and this turmoil was killing her softly.
"Face him!" Ciara exclaimed.
"You have to make him understand why both of you have to be apart from each other. Don't just drop him like a hot potato!"
Her voice was stating something. It's pretty clear that she wanted Aly to have an honest goodbye with him.
"I can't!" Aly's voice shuttered around. People around them started being curious about the girl talk thing.
"Do you love him?"
"I honestly don't know. I think I do. I'm not sure, and I can't face him" her tears has a mind of its own, they stream down endlessly.
"What? You are not even sure about your true feelings for him?" Aly's answer, angered her and she snapped instantly.
"You are selfish! Ciara stood up in front of her and grabbed her bag. Before she walked away from Aly, she has spoken her final words.
"You shouldn't have started something that you are not committed to finish." She grabbed the envelope on the table and left in silence.
Alyssa remained seated with her tears rolling down her cheek.
She looked outside the glass window and watched the people passing by.
Her heart was yearning for love, but she was confused about her feelings. She wasn't sure if the love that her heart was seeking for was from him, or from Marcus. Since she felt differently for him, and it started when they came back home from Hawaii.
They stopped fighting when Marcus started to treat her the way he was treating her before, like his best friend...
She was so happy about that treatment, it felt so good and she missed those old times with him.
By being casual with each other for the past few days, her heart was no longer scared, instead...She felt her heart was at ease, having him around. But the thought of losing Zack was something else. She still wanted to be with him, and her heart was like crazy for him. But that was not the right thing so she decided to end everything before it becomes too late.
This winter was probably the coldest season she has ever experienced in her entire life.
The buzz from her phone caught her attention and made her back in reality. It was Marcus who was calling her.
"You are out for something?" Marcus voice swept her mind suddenly when he spoke.
"I called your apartment and Carmen told me that you hurriedly went out." His voice was worried and he simply couldn't hide it.
She cleared her throat before she spoke softly. "I am. I just ran some errands a while ago."
"Something wrong Aly?" his voice was so compassionate that it ripped her heart out. "Why didn't you ask me to drive for you?"
"Nah I'm good. Nothing to worry about Marcus. I don't want to bother you this late at night. I'm sorry" she couldn't tell him her reason.
"Shall I come and pick you up?" He asked
"Would it be okay, I mean it's already late and you must be resting by now"
"You know you can always count on me." Indeed true. He was always there for her. And his soft voice was so pleasing that she couldn't say no.
"That will be great, I'm here at the Coffee Lounge downtown. Just take a cab, I drove myself with Carmen's car"
"Alright! I'll ask John to get the car and bring it home. And you are riding with me"
Then he hung up.
She felt her stomach churned.
It was almost midnight when she realized that she hasn't taken any food since noon.
She was busy killing herself with the house chores since she didn't come to her shop this morning and did the grocery in the afternoon, then prepared the letter for him when she came home.
It was more difficult than she ever thought. It was hard to say goodbye to someone whom you feel like being with. Whom you wanted to see every day, if possible.
But she was so desperate to end her own suffering.
"I'm sorry Zack, if I am not brave enough to face you" her eyes were filled with so much sadness that even if she will plaster a fake smile, people would notice the shadow of her misery.
- Writer
