Howl At The Moon

E- "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?"

Helenas Pov:

I was finally done with all my classes for the day and before I headed back to the pack house I needed a few more books for my wolf research. I had planned on sneaking into the library once the last bell rang and taking another look around. I made my way to the library, ducking and dodging students in the halls to make it before they locked the doors for the night. When I got to the secret library in the back, I began sifting through books until I found something remotely close to the topic I needed. For a wolf library, it didn't seem like there were a lot of books on wolves. Unless you count the endless amount of romance novels that filled half the room. I managed to find two more books on wolf spirits and decided to take all four books home with me. I figured one of them must have the answers I was looking for. I snuck out of the secret library closing the door softly behind me when I noticed the male librarian sitting at his desk. I slowly began walking past as he had his nose in a book, making quiet steps all the way to the main door. Once I reached the swinging doors, I glanced back at the librarian still reading quietly at his desk, none the wiser. Without hesitation, I ran hauling ass. Pushing out the swinging doors and took off down the main hall and out the back door leading to the student parking lot. I had only just stopped running when I reached the middle of the lot, stopping in my tracks as a silver car backed up in front of me, nearly mowing me down. I got out of the way just in time as the car finally came to a halt right where I was standing.

"Get out of the way ass hole! Are you trying to get hit!" A senior yelled out of the driver's side window before pulling off and kicking back muddy water all over me with his back tires.

"Great! just great..." I murmured to myself as I dripped with muddy water wiping off the remnants from my face.

I was covered from head to toe with mud and soggy leaves as the car sped off turning left out of the parking lot and passing the high school sign. I dripped the whole way home and the smell was putrid. I couldn't stand to breathe out my nose, so I just held my breath and breathed through my mouth as much as possible. I couldn't wait to get home and take a shower in my paradise spring. I usually only shower at night, but I think today I could make an exception. Besides, if anyone caught me smelling like that, I was sure I'd be beaten and punished, so I had to move quickly. By the time I made it on to pack land, I could already see the younger wolves begin to gather around the front of the pack house door. They looked as if there was a meeting going on soon, so I knew everyone would be busy long enough for me to sneak in and out unnoticed, shower, and get back in time to start my chores. I kept to the trees as I made my way around them in a circle. I could tell some of them smelled me by the foul looks on their faces as I ran past them in the woods. It wasn't long before I made it to the back door. Peaking my head in, I quickly scanned the room, making sure it was empty before running through. I ran all the way up to my room, grabbed a spare change of clothes as well as some clean shoes, stuffed them into my backpack, and headed back downstairs and out the back door. Once the door shut behind me, I took off into the woods, running toward my secret oasis. When I reached there, the first thing I did was pry off the dried-up muddy clothes that now clung to my body. My yellow sweater is now a mustard-yellowish-brown color and my sneakers were soaked and caked with mud. I threw them into the lake to soak as I climbed into the water myself, slowly acclimating my body to the freezing temperatures of the lake. As I submerged myself in the ice-cold water, you could see the mud washing off my body and into the water around me as it slowly drifted away. I reached over to the shampoo plant, squeezing some soapy residue into my hands and lathering myself up, slowly washing away the remaining mud in my hair and the mud covering my face. After the third wash-up, I finally began smelling better and the spice aroma left by the flower had me smelling like my old self again. I rinsed off, then got out and air-dried on the grass while I cracked open one of my "Borrowed books". The book I was reading talked about a wolf whose wolf counterpart was suppressed and it took the true love of the mate bond to wake the wolf's soul. That seemed to be the only method mentioned in all the books I've read. Love is always what saves the day. But what did any of this mean for me? I had no wolf and no mate, no one to love me and save me. All I ever had was me. I had to figure something out in order to save myself. I wouldn't make it out there rouge with no wolf. I'd be a sitting duck out there in the world all alone without the protection of the pack or even my own wolf. Before I knew it, I had let three hours go by and I was only halfway through my last book and still had no answers.

"What a waste of a day" I murmured to myself as I slammed the book shut. I got up and stood on my feet stretching before I hurriedly pulled on my white spaghetti-strapped shirt and my ripped blue jeans. Pairing it with my only other pair of white sneakers. I rung out my sweater dress to make sure it was dry. Then I reached into the lake, pulling out both my sneakers and doing the same. They weren't the cleanest, but they'll have to do for now. I packed up all my belongings and made my way back to the house to start my chores. When I finally made it back to the house, the kitchen was still empty. It would be dinner time soon and I could tell dinner hadn't even been started, so I rushed over to the stove and placed four large pots, one on each burner. Then I turned them on after filling each pot halfway with water. In the first pot, I added some potatoes to the water to boil. In the second pot, I poured in a few splashes of salt, onion, garlic, and pepper. Then I opened the ice box, and grabbed a few ears of corn, peeling and cutting them in three as I plopped them into the water. In the third pot, I added an herbal mixture to boil the meat. Then I added the cut-up chops of deer someone had prepped earlier in a green bowl in the fridge. In the last pot, I added broccoli, salt, and pepper. Then I left the food to boil as I cleaned down the kitchen and straightened up the mess hall that was still caked in leftovers from lunch. I was in the middle of sweeping up when the elder who was put in charge of kitchen duties came running in and pushed me out of her way as she pushed her way into the kitchen. I listened as I heard her footsteps halt right in front of the stove, I could hear the clanking of the pot lids as she inspected each one before turning back to the mess hall. She came running back out of the kitchen and toward me as she reached me, wrapping both arms around me, and pulling me into the tightest hug I think I had ever felt.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she squealed as she clung to me.

"No problem," I said as she began to let go.

"Why did you help me?" she asked. "Most servants would have just waited for me to be punished ". She added.

"Well, good thing I'm not one of them," I replied, flashing her a smile as I walked off.

I was done with my chores faster than I had intended. There was nothing left to do before dinner time started, so I made my way up to my room to get some homework done and maybe take a nap if I had the time. I reached my room and immediately crashed onto my bed, kicking my shoes off and tossing them into a corner. I laid on my stomach getting comfy as I finished my reading and completed three math sheets and a social studies packet not due till next week. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep.

My dreams were made up of a mixture of pain and confusion. I first remember the dream starting with a hike through the woods peacefully until I heard a stampede of footsteps approaching me from behind, as I turned around, and looked over my shoulder at an angry mob of wolves showing teeth as they nipped at the air in front of them aggressively chasing after me. I had no wolf to defend myself and no matter how fast I ran they were always right behind me. I was tossing and turning and my stomach was in knots. By the time the first wolf got close enough, he leaped right onto me, knocking me to the ground as we both hit the floor rolling. Then I woke up. Hopping up out of my sleep winded, clenching my chest as I caught my breath. I was sweating profusely, my hair was sticking to the back of my neck as I sat up wiping away the sweat beads on my forehead. I was visibly shaking and my anxiety was through the roof. I curled myself up in a ball, holding on to my knees so tight as if they'd just run away if I was to let go. I had laid there in the middle of my old worn-out mattress on the floor in that same position for about four hours before I finally began to grasp reality again. After a while, I had begun to turn and force my body to get up. Standing on both legs, I hobbled over in the dark to the corner of the room that held my shoes and slid them on one after the other, bending down to tie my laces. When my laces were secure, I walked over to the door leading out to the roof and opened it slowly as I stood there taking in the night sky. The moon was bright and full tonight. It looked as if it was closer to the earth now than it had ever been.

"I never knew the moon could be that big." I thought to myself, admiring the Moon for its beauty.

The stars are out tonight as well. Twinkling around giving light to the darkest parts of the midnight sky. I stargazed for a little while longer before climbing down the east staircase and exiting through the kitchen doors as I did each night. My wolf vision helped me see as I pushed through the woods, moving branches out of my path carefully to avoid snapping any on the way. My steps were quiet and soft as I grew closer and closer to my secret paradise spring. I always had to remain cautious when it came to my secret space. I couldn't risk anyone discovering it and taking it away. When I reached there, I pushed through the long tree leaves that hid my hideaway's entrance. I rushed in and collapsed on the grass and looked up at the stars again. I could feel all the stress and pent-up anxiety just melt away. After a few moments, I heard something that woke me from my trance, bringing me back to reality. I listened closely and realized the sound was coming closer and closer. I listened quietly until I realized the sound was footsteps heading in my direction. I immediately began to panic. I had no idea what to do and I couldn't lose this place, I just couldn't let that happen. My head began to fill up with all these thoughts of what-ifs. I jumped to my feet as I could tell whoever was coming was getting closer. I scrambled around to find anything I could wield to defend myself when a fallen branch caught my eye and I ran over to grab it. Holding it up above my head, ready to knock somebody's whole head off. When, suddenly, the footsteps slowed as I heard whoever it was trying to sniff me out. The bushes began to rustle and in trotted this huge wild brown dire wolf. It held its head low and snout on the ground sniffing its way toward me. Then it stopped in front of me and sat down a few feet away, finally raising its head to look me in the face. First, the dire wolf looked into my eyes, almost like it was staring through me before its eyes, then traveled upward, following the path of my arms, noticing the branch I was still wielding over my head. The brown wolf tilted its head with confusion just watching me as it panted calm breaths whilst sticking its tongue out. I could feel this pure emotion of good just radiating off of the wolf as it sat there never breaking eye contact with it.

"You're not gonna hurt me? are you?" I asked the wolf, looking it in the eye.

It shook its head no. And I began to relax my arms, letting go with my left and lowering the branch I was holding in my right hand and tossing it onto the floor. The brown dire wolf seemed to relax more as well now that I wasn't a threat. Though it seemed confident it could take me. I reached out my left hand over the top of the wolf's head, rubbing it softly and slowly between the ears as I checked around it to determine if the wild wolf was male or female. It was a boy, as I figured just by looking at his size and those deep golden eyes. I've never seen a wild wolf before, especially a dire wolf, as they are not common around Roman. He was a beautiful beast. And his muscles were massive. His brown coat was shining under the moonlight, complimenting the golden brown in his coat as it made it shimmer. His snout was long and bigger than my head and when he stood on all fours he nearly reached the height of my shoulders. This beast was huge. Seemed more like a big old puppy the way he was leaning into me as I was giving him scratchies. My hand slid down his forehead and instantly I was pulled into some catatonic trance. My eyes rolled back in my head, showing all white as I connected with the wolf. Visions were swirling around my head as well as a symbol and words that looked to be in another language. I couldn't make out the words, but through each vision, I was pulled into, I always saw the same symbol standing out. Either displayed on a building written in stone or on the branding of clothing. I gasped when I saw myself floating in the air hovering above an army of werewolves and Dire wolves. Eyes glowing blue as the snow was falling hard. It looked to be a battle going on between wild wolves and werewolves. And I was leading the attack. The dire wolves were winning until they were outnumbered and then suddenly I transformed, shocking myself out of the link. The wolf and I took a step back from one another, both with wide eyes and shocked expressions. I was freaked out obviously as I wasn't sure what just happened, yet excited because the possibility of me having a wolf never left my mind.

"What was that!!" I said in my mind as I tilted my head toward him and he mimicked back.

"Well, that was strange," I thought.

"Indeed," an unfamiliar voice replied.

"Um hello? who is that?" I asked the unfamiliar voice in my head.

"Well, being that I'm the only one here, I guess I did," the voice replied.

"The wolf?" I thought to myself.

"Yup that'll be me!", the voice replied.

"And my name is not Wolf. My name is Onyx. Thank you!" He replied with a snarky attitude.

"Oh.. well, hello there, Onyx. sorry to be rude, ... I just had no idea a wild wolf would have a name. My apologies if I've offended you. I'm a little new to this." I apologized.

"No need Princess, it's all good. Just figured I'd introduce myself", Onyx replied through the link.

"Princess?" I asked him.

"Yes your majesty, it is an honor to meet you" he replied, as the wolf bowed his head as a sign of respect.

"Your Maj...Wha..what are you talking about?!" I asked, getting irritated.

The wolf c****d his head to the side, lowering his ears.

"Wait... You don't know?"... "You don't know who you are?" He asked in disbelief.

"I am Helena, the orphaned servant of the Roman pack. I know who I am." I replied, a bit offended.

"Nonsense. Who told you that?" Onyx asked.

"Well,... I don't know ..Everyone I guess.." I answered.

"Fools all of them" Onyx called them and I smiled.

"You are Helena, the lost princess of wolves. And the smell of royal blood is all over you" Onyx told me.

"Princess of wolves?" I repeated.

"Ugh, you humans can be so slow," Onyx complained as he shook his head at me.

"So I am only human" I sighed.

" Yeah, in that form, you are," he replied, only adding to my confusion.

"So... I have a wolf?" I persisted with my questions.

"You saw what I saw, right?" Onyx answered, sounding annoyed as he laid down, stretching out his legs, and rested on the grass before me.

I took a seat next to his large wolf frame and began to imagine how it would feel if I was a wolf just lounging on the wet dewy grass feeling the wet mud between my toes, as I too stretched out and laid down for a nap. I decided to use Onyx's big furry body as a pillow as I rested my eyes. When Onyx then turned towards me, Onyx wrapped me in his warm fur as he covered my legs with his long bushy tail. Then we both drifted off into a deep sleep. That night was the most peaceful and safest sleep I had ever had. Not one bad dream or even a wave of anxiety. My mind and body felt rejuvenated in a way I couldn't explain. I woke up still in the middle of the forest wrapped up in my wolf friend's fur. I opened my eyes to look up at the sky and panicked when I realized the sun was already out.

"Crap! I'm late!" I shouted, waking onyx with my sudden outburst as I rushed to get back.

I had taken off running back to the pack house when Onyx leaped into my path, blocking me from continuing any further.

"Stop! Stop! Your majesty, you are no servant! There is no need to return to those... those scoundrels." Onyx insists.

"Look Onyx", I chuckled.

"I'll admit it was amusing last night when you were going on and on back there about princesses and fairy tales and all that. You sure know how to make a girl feel special, but I have to get back to reality now before someone has to come looking for me, then I'm really gonna be in for it." I said, brushing him off as I marched around him and continued my walk.

Onyx once again caught up leaping in front of me to block me from leaving.

"But princess, I can't protect you out in the open. Something could happen. You could be hurt! or worse!" He began to panic.

"Onyx! Onyx! shh!.." I leaned in close.

" I'll be fine, silly wolf. Just wait here and I'll be back later. I promise." I tried my best to reassure him.

Onyx protested a bit but I saw his muscles relax as he stayed put. I started to walk towards him as he moved aside, allowing me to pass. I walked faster as I began to approach the east side of the pack house. I stood back and waited patiently as two guards came walking out of the kitchen, turning right, and heading down the road into the human town. I peeked around for any lingering guards, quickly sneaking up and slipping through the kitchen door undetected. Once in the kitchen, I began cleaning up as fast as I could, scrubbing up the piled-up dishes from last night's dinner and breakfast earlier. The dishes alone took me an hour and a half. By the time I was done, my clothes were all soaked from the backsplash. I then moved on to the countertops before making my way to the mess hall. Four hours later, everything was spotless except the few drips on the floor that had fallen from the trim of my shirt. I moved to the kitchen closet in search of a mop to dry it up. While I was in the closet looking for the mop and bucket, I hadn't paid much attention to the sound of someone pushing through the swinging doors behind me. I located the mop and matching blue bucket and as I turned to walk back, suddenly I was struck across my face, knocking me backward into the canned beans and canned yams, making the assault even more painful than needed. I looked up to see the Roman Luna standing over me with a balled-up fist.

"You stupid girl! You wanna mess up my floors? Tracking your filth all over!" She screamed as she reached down, grabbed me by my hair, and dragged me out of the closet through the kitchen kicking and screaming. I reached out for something to hold onto as she tugged me right out the kitchen door and into the backyard, tossing me a few yards into the grass. My body flew, making a thud as it hit the ground. I could hear the gasps of a few wolves passing by but I couldn't force myself to look at them with the massive headache I was now feeling. I was a little disorientated but I wanted to fight back. I looked up and Katherine the Roman Luna stalked closer, ready to attack again as her fists were balled at the sides of her white and gold dress. Before she could reach me, a loud and deep roar sounded from the woods behind me, echoing through the air, stopping everyone in their tracks. I looked around at the crowd now starting to form around us, as everybody else was staring at the floating pair of glowing yellow eyes in the trees behind me. Onyx stalked closer, towering behind me as he bared his large canines, snapping toward the Luna Katherine.

I shook off the dizziness still clouding my mind and forced myself to stand.

"Rise Princess!, I'm here now." Onyx's deep voice spoke through my mind, immediately putting my mind at ease. It was almost as if he was healing me. I began to feel so much stronger. The pain melted away and the rage and power flowed through me so fast it turned my blood cold. I could suddenly feel how powerful I truly was as it rushed through my veins and it was as if something deep within me was Unlocked. Something about the power felt so familiar, like Deja Vu, I pushed the thought away as fast as it came. And began to pull all my power forward, I felt the sparks of energy busting out of me as my body began to slowly levitate off the ground. I could feel everyone around me and all of their emotions. Some were shocked, others were scared, and one... well, one was angry, even jealous maybe. And I knew just who it was. I could feel the emotions of Onyx behind me standing there proud and ready to pounce. I felt the urge to lift my arms and when I gave in and my arms began to rise, I could feel it all. My bones began to crack as my wolf form pulled forward tearing off my clothes with it. I transformed into my wolf form as everyone around me began to panic. I could feel their fear and confusion surging through me. My eyes popped wide open as I forced them open, and when i looked through my wolf's eyes, the world looked different. More vibrant and full of life. I heard someone yell attack as the guards charged toward Onyx, who lowered his head, preparing to fend off their attack. I let the power flowing through me take control as i lifted my arms to the sky. Clouds began to form as they grew bigger. They darkened the sky as I brew a storm from within. Lighting began to light up the sky as the sound of thunder shook the trees around us, causing a strong deep wind to blow through, nearly knocking the guards over as they fell back running for cover. The storm began to pick up as the crowd scattered with everyone rushing to take cover. It began to hail as the power was growing inside of me. I heard Onyx's worried voice in my head accompanied by his fear as he begged me to stop.

"Hey! Princess!?... You know two wolves can only generate so much energy, right?" He warned me.

"It's okay princess! PRINCESS!" He yelled, breaking me from my trance.

"They're gone!" he reassured me.

I started to push the power back down as I struggled for control against it. My body began to fall slowly, hitting the ground as I blacked out. When I came to, I was draped across Onyx's back as he traveled deep into the forest as fast as he could carry me. I knew we had to have been far out of Roman territory because all the trees looked different from the ones I was used to. Our trees were skinny and if not planted so close together it would be easy to spot the pack. Unlike the trees we were passing, they were huge and a branch alone had to weigh about eleven elephants. I just lay there exhausted as he carried us to a safe destination, closing my eyes once more as the soft breeze lulled me back to sleep.