Finding Home

The Couple- Pt 3

“Another?” she asked, quietly. Stopping at the edge of my bunk as I pulled out my tiny duffel bag from under my bed.

“Another what?” I asked confused, I walked to my dresser, pulling out the few pairs of clothes that I actually own.

“When you walked in…you said that you had another family?” I nodded my head in response, not really sure what the question was. I neatly tucked my clothes into my duffel bag, waiting for her to continue. “How many families have you had?”

“Well…” I said gathering my bathroom essentials and heading back to my bed. “Your family will be number 8.” I shrugged, acting as though it’s common knowledge.

“Eight?” She asked, clearly surprised by my answer. I nodded my head in confirmation as I tucked the remainder of my items in my duffel bag, zipping it up and scoffing at how empty it was. “So you’ve already been through 7 homes, is that including your parents?” she asked, I could see she was genuinely curious, so I shook my head in response. I could tell that she wanted to ask me something but she was debating. I sat down on the edge of my bed, now finished packing. I looked around the room, suddenly realizing how empty it was… the girls had left the room, probably heading down early for dinner. I could tell that she was thinking about something, but she was hesitating on whether or not she should ask it.

“What is it?” I asked quietly. “What do you want to ask?” I looked down at my duffel bag beside me, playing with a loose string between the zippers.

I heard Addison take a deep breath before speaking. “How long have you been here?”

“Almost eleven years. Mrs. Porter found me a few days before I turned 5.” I twirled the string around my hand again and again, trying to distract myself from the tears daring to fall. “That’s why the girls reacted the way that they did. After being with each other for so long, it’s hard to imagine leaving, we’ve all become family.”

“I hope you know that we don’t want to make you come with us. Don’t get me wrong, we want you to come, I mean you saw how excited Landen was to have a big sister, but we aren’t going to force you to do anything that you don’t want to do.” I sat there a moment before glancing up at her, the honesty of her words echoing in the look on her face. I almost took her up on her offer, imagining the looks on all of the girls faces. But it was the tears in Addison’s eyes that stopped me. Although she had offered the chance to me, I could see that she was scared that I would actually take it.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, quietly, watching as the confusion crossed over her face before she nodded her head in agreement. I took a deep breath, thinking about the best way to phrase my question. “Why me?”

“What do you mean?” She asked, confused, sinking down on the bottom bunk of the bed next to me.

“There are so many girls here, so many that are younger than me, or nicer than me, or have a better…history than I do. Why did you choose me out of everyone?”

“Well.. I’m sure there are.” She started, she exhaled. “Sweetheart, I’m sure the other girls are really nice and they do deserve a family as well. If we could take everyone here, we would. But you also deserve a family. When Mrs Porter handed us all of those files..”

I swallowed. “You saw my file?”

“Yes.”

“So you know everything?” I felt tears build in my eyes, knowing what was probably written out in that file.

“No.” I looked at her skeptically. “When i saw your file, I didn’t look at a typed out list of your past. I wasn’t going to let words that a stranger typed on their screen tell me about you. If you want to ever tell me about it, I’m here, always. But I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me anything that you don’t want me to know.”

“You really didn’t look?”

Addison shook her head,“All I needed to know is that you are safe and more than deserving to be apart of our family. I know enough to know that you’ve been through more than any kid should have to ever have to go through.”

I didn’t respond.

“Mrs. Porter gave us an idea of what you were like, I can tell she’s very fond of you, that’s all that matters.” She smiled, her eyes reflecting her sincerity.

“Thank you.” I murmured. “That actually means a lot.” I stood up, wiping my hands on my jeans and let out a deep breath that I didn’t realize that I was holding. I picked up my duffel bag and put it in the crook of my arm, ready to head down to dinner.

Addison reached over and gently touched the strap of my duffel bag. “Do you want to know something you might find funny?”

“What?”

“When we met you today, I was terrified.”

I blinked. “You were?”

She laughed quietly. “Absolutely.”

I couldn’t help smiling. “You didn’t look terrified.”

“I’m glad.”she chuckled. “I was trying very hard not to.”

“Why were you so scared?”

“Because I didn’t know what you would think of us, or if you would want to come with us.”

I frowned. “But you’re the adults.”

“I know.” She smiled. “But that doesn’t mean your opinion doesn’t matter.”

I looked down at my hands again. Nobody had ever really asked me what I thought before. Not when it came to families. Usually adults made the decisions and I was expected to adjust. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Anything.”

“What if I don’t like you?” I asked curious, genuinely wondering about her response.

She laughed. “Then I guess we’ll have to work on that.”

I smiled despite myself, before quietly asking my next question, the smile turning into worry. “And what if you don’t like me?”

Her smile faltered. “Oh, Lily.” She shook her head, “I don’t think that’s something you need to worry about.” She smiled again, placing a reassuring hand on mine.

“But you don’t know me.”

“You’re right.” She shrugged, nodding her head and squeezing my hand. “But I don’t need to know everything about you to decide that I want to.”

I felt the familiar pressure building behind my eyes. I quickly looked away. Addison didn’t comment on it.

Instead, she looked around the room. “Is this everything you own?”she asked, gesturing at the seemingly empty duffel bag on my arm.

“Pretty much.” I responded, nodding my head, finally blinking away the tears that had built up.

Her eyebrows pulled together. “That’s not very much.”

I shrugged, glancing at the sad little bag. “You learn not to collect things when you don’t know how long you’re going to have them.”

The words came out absentmindedly. But the second I said them, I wished I hadn’t. Addison went quiet. I could see the sadness return to her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I shrugged again. “It’s okay.”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s not.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke. Then she smiled softly. “Well…” She stood and reached for the bag. “Maybe we can change that.”