I am Darling

My Reality Swing

I am Darling and I was Invincible. But I was losing my mind, I’d been so alone, I had my share of pains and failures after my loss. Gab and Shawwie were the only best things happened to my life but they were both taken away from me. Gab disappeared and Shawwie was murdered. Life was cruel and moving on was still the most favorable option. My family was my stronghold.. yes my family. I almost forgot about them. I never thought about them during times of my fame and enjoyment. On my own will, I left home at an early age to be with people who didn’t deserve my attention. I thought I would be happy with them but I became the worst girl of my generation. My parents were disappointed of me. I have no siblings to run to because I was the only child. But after those shocking incidents in my life I still went back to my parents’ refuge. My mom Dayna told me “Hope you had learned your lesson, it’s not always a bed of roses out there.” “We know that your dad and I will always be your last recourse but you will always be welcome in this home.” “You will be always our child though you’d grown up and ripened so fast, you will always be our baby.” My dad Theodore replied. Words can’t express how I felt when I heard those words from my parents. I both answered them with a big hug and tears just can’t stop falling from my eyes. How I wasted my time on things that didn’t matter at all and how I missed them so much. My heart was melting remembering those shattered opportunities I should have shared with my parents. But still I was lucky enough they never gave up on me.

Months had passed and I slowly lost interest with all my schools activities and competitions. Little by little so called friends and colleagues had gone away. Fame was slipping through my fingers. They were coming and saying their condolences then went away. I missed my true friend so much. I was so alone. I had found a sister on Shawwie but she was gone. She should have been here. She should have witnessed my swing to reality, my awakening to the fact that I would never be the same without her. I missed her more than I missed Gab. Yeah.. Gab. I had no idea what happened to him. He just disappeared without a trace and wherever he went I hoped he was happy. I hoped he would see me embracing the change.

Breaktime and lots of students again were gathering in the cafeteria. I was sitting alone reminiscing times I had with Shawwie during breaktime.. those treasured times that I won’t exchange for anything in the world. While sipping my soda, a girl came to me and introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Jessy, Darling right?” “Yes.. hello.. may I help you?” I answered. Jessy was big for a girl and I wondered what she wanted from me.” “Oh..no no. I just wanted to know you and I am glad we meet now.” She replied. “You know you’re the most popular here in school and everybody wanted to be your friend including me.” She added. “That was few months ago, not anymore.” “I am not as active as before, not without my friend Shawwie.” I told. “Yeah, I heard about what happened and so sad it happened.” Jessy said. “Let’s not talk about it, I’m beginning to be depressed again.” I sighed. “Oh sorry.. Let’s change topic..” She said. “It’s fine.. let’s change topic.” I answered. “I never saw you here before, are you a newcomer, a transferee?” I asked. “Yes, my family just moved in this town so I have to transfer school.” She replied. As we talk the bell rang for the next period and I had to say goodbye for now to Jessy. “So let’s talk later?” I said. “Nice meeting you.” She told. “Nice meeting you too.” I answered. It was a good feeling talking to someone again after all the stress and heartaches. I was glad I had met Jessy.

School’s over and time to go home, I saw Coach Jim on a sports team I was in. He was like a father figure to me. He asked me why I quitted. “Darling you have to be in the team again.” “We need you here.” He said. Same things were running through my head.. I was not ready, I was not prepared. So many things had happened and it was a learning experience. I had to live a new life and continue living. “Sorry coach but not now.” “I’m sure you’d find someone else better than I am, for now I am hopeless.” I hugged my coach and said “thank you” for all his patience on me. I was his best player, that was what he always boasted to everyone, but I was also the most hard headed he had ever coached. “If you ever change your mind Darling you know where to find your team.” He heartily embraced me. “Yes coach I would do that Coach Jim.”. I replied. As I was on my way to the school exit, I was looking around hoping I would see that new girl in school Jessy. It was a nice feeling having new found friend again. Unfortunately the rain fell and I had to stay in school for a while. I have nothing to shield myself from the rain and the school bus will be coming in 10 minutes so definitely I have to waste time as I wait for the rain to stop. I had to sit on the bench near the school’s exit and still eager to see Jessy. If Gab was still here, he already offered me a ride, we would have had endless conversations in his car together with Shawwie and he would have had brought me home. I couldn’t resist thinking about these two good people who were taken away from me, I couldn’t find another like them all throughout my existence. Tears would just simply flow through my cheeks and if I could only turn back the hands of time I would have surely made the most of being with them. As I was crying on the bench someone handed me over a handkerchief. It was Jessy. “Thank you.” I said. “Crying again?” She asked. “How can I stop crying, when my two special friends left me alone forever?” “Two?” She looked surprised. “Shawwie, my true friend was murdered and Gab, the love of my life left me without a word.” I shared. “I don’t know about Gab, can you tell me about him next time?” She asked wittingly. I was about to tell my story about Gab but we were startled by a shout just inside the school campus. A student was running from afar going through our way. I knew him, He was Tony, he was also an athlete and we shared same coach. He was screaming to our School Guard at the top of his voice.. “Help, help… Coach Jim, Coach Jim, something happened to him. Guard please help.” The security guard immediately went to him and asked..”What happened?” Jessy and I were just listening and were afraid of what possibly happened to Coach Jim. “Guard please help, come quick at the Bath Room of Athletes, Help Coach Jim please..” They both ran to where Tony was pinpointing.. to the Bath Room of Athletes. Jessy and I followed because we were very curious. There we saw Coach Jim lying on the floor of the bathroom and clothed with his own blood. “Oh my God what happened to Coach Jim?” I was trembling, I just talked to him an hour ago and I couldn’t believe I was seeing him now like this.” I told Jessy. “Hey calm down, it’s not your fault.” Jessy answered. I was again devastated. Tony said “We just finished our practice and we were about to take a bath when we saw him already on the floor with full of blood.” Our Security Guard right away called an ambulance but Coach Jim was already pronounced dead. “Just a few months ago Gab disappeared, Shawwie was murdered and now it’s Coach Jim.” I told Jessy. Could it be another coincidence or was this stringed to all incidents?” “We hope not.” Jessy replied. “If that’s the case, how unlucky I am to be here.” She added. People at school were the primary victims of these heinous crimes. Were the management in trouble, or the students had pity misunderstandings, or was it just only because of me? So many questions, but got no idea what the answer would be. Was Gab also killed that’s why he never came back? I really don’t know. My depression was turning into hallucination.

When I got home I told my parents of what happened at school. They were very worried about me and asked to take a break for a while not until the villain would be caught. Why don’t you stop for a moment, you can help me here at home?” My mom told. “I can handle it mom, I still have things to accomplish.” They almost went with me inside the campus just to make sure I would be safe. Dad had been taking me in and out of school so I would no longer ride a bus. “Wait for me til 6:00pm.. Do not go anywhere”. Dad reminded. “I’ll be fine Dad, don’t worry, I already had a new friend here and I won’t be alone anymore.”

I was talking to my classmate Gwen at the hallway when I saw someone afar off staring at us. I was wondering who that was so I followed him to where he went. I was bothered by that guy and I kept on following til I stopped and paused. He was going to where Coach Jim was found dead. I was terribly troubled and my heart beat so fast that I couldn’t breathe. When I was about to lost my consciousness I heard the voice that helped me saying “You’ll be fine Darling, you’ll be fine”. In my mind it was Gab. That voice.. I missed it so much, I wanted to confirm who that was and I wanted to open my eyes and see him but I totally lost it. I woke up in the hospital and saw my dad sitting on the couch waiting for me to wake up. “Dad..?” “What happened to me?” My dad was happy to see me awake and answered “Your school nurse saw you lying on the floor next to the clinic and called an ambulance after performing first aid to you.” “You were lucky.” Dad said. “I saw Gab, I saw Gab Dad…” “Where is he?” I insisted. “No Darling.. Gab was long gone… you should calm down.” “But I saw him.. I saw him.. he helped me when I fainted, he was the one who brought me to the clinic.. I heard his voice before I totally lost it.” “It is impossible Darling, The nurse said you were alone when she found you.” Dad answered. “Where’s mom where’s mom.. I have to tell her, she will believe me.” I became hysterical so the nurse injected something on me that calmed me down. While losing my consciousness again I told Dad “I saw Gab Dad, believe me.. believe me please.” “Please tell him I’m sorry, I have to talk to him, we have a lot to talk about..”

I woke up in the middle of the night and I was surprised seeing Jessy beside my bed watching me. “She saw me being surprised finding her inside my hospital room and said “Hi.. I just knew what happened to you and I urgently came over here to see if you’re okay now.” “I’m fine”. I told. “It’s nice seeing you here, if only Shawwie was alive she would be glad knowing you too.” “I’m sure she would.. rest more so you’ll recover the sooner.” She said to me. “I’m not going anywhere til you sleep.” She added. “Okay.” I answered back. While closing my eyes, I was thinking about the kindness Jessy was showing me.. If only Shawwie and Gab were alive they would definitely be happy knowing Jessy. Is she for real? I asked myself. But I remember something.. she looked too familiar to me, did I saw her somewhere before? Had we met somewhere in our lifetime. No matter what, one thing was sure, she was a good companion and friend and she would never hurt me.