I am Darling

My Song

I am Darling, I was Invincible. But I felt so tired. Tired of all the qualms and troubles. Tired of all the judgments and mocking. Not long ago when my life was full of laughter and pleasure. There was nothing to worry about but the dress I had to wear to look good, the moves I had to make to keep the fame and the people I had to be with to stay on top. And that was unbelievable. I was so selfish.

For a moment it had been peaceful, but I know I would be facing another difficulty in the coming days. I could feel it and it won’t stop til the last drop of my blood was totally drained.

I didn’t let Dad take me to school. “Dad please don’t bring me there I just wanted to protect you and Mom.” “Whatever we do Darling we are already in danger.” “I am your father. I should be the one protecting you.” Though he was always insisting to bring me I always found a way to go alone. I know he was really upset to what I’ve been doing but I can’t lose them. No.. not them.

Our school was again preparing for another play. This time it was a competition of different schools. In three weeks time I would be seeing Jessy again on stage. She never stopped mesmerizing me every time she was up there performing. I was like her before. I was famous and was always on top but I don’t miss it. Those were the reasons I lost so many special people in my life. I won’t trade them for any fame now, but I know it was too late. All I could do was to do something for them.

After my classes I invited Jessy to come with me to the police station and follow up their cases. She looked upset and I don’t know why. I asked “Why do you look upset, something bothering you?” She answered, “I.. I am just being bothered by our next play, I am so nervous this time.” I replied to her “Don’t be. You’re so amazing up there, you can do it.” She told me that she didn’t want to come because they still have to practice and I understood. She was just really being concerned with the play.

I was in doubt if I could gather information alone because I was still a minor so I thought of Rhea and asked if she could accompany me to the station. It was the first time she told that Gab was her cousin and she was also interested to know what happened to him. I never knew that. I was surprised. I squeezed her hand and said “Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked. “Why.. can we bring back lost times?” “I’m just happy I knew Gab’s relatives. I could pay back good deeds I never showed to Gab.. I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart.” I begged. “It’s fine Darling, I know you’ve changed and that’s good enough.” She replied. After her revelation to me I became more at ease with her company. We both went but still nothing new in the investigation. One thing was common in the way they were killed. They were all stabbed and they hadn’t found the murder weapon. They told that it was a Gut Hook knife, not a common type and it has an odd feature. According to their research it has a special type of blade in which the spine has a sharpened semi-circle ground into it. It has indeed a hook in its spine. They were often used by hunters and no wonder why they couldn’t haunt him. We went out of the station getting nothing. I was terribly disappointed. She told me “It’s almost a year now and nothing is new, let’s just hope that there will be no more victims again.” “Let’s keep our fingers crossed.” I answered.

Before going home I told her “Take care of yourself Rhea and thank you for coming with me.” She would still go back to school for some remaining obligations and I would be going home. But there was a bad thought inside of me and I can’t take it away. So, I decided to go with her back to school and stay for a while as we wait for her time out. I accompanied her til the end of her work because I was so worried. We both waited for the bus to bring us both to each of our home.

Days before the play Mr. Russell, our School President called for general assembly for all students, teachers and staff. “We are lucky enough that we were still trusted as the venue of this competition. I just want everyone to be safe and be cautious in all we do and to all we mingle with. You will be with students from other schools so we don’t want any more incidents to happen. I suggest you should not go alone. We do not know who our enemy here is and it’s better for us to be alert and be with trusted friends. So please all of us should take good care and please report immediately any untoward incidents you may notice or see. Can I count on that?” He asked everyone. “Yes Mr. Russell.” Everybody replied. After hearing that from Mr. Russell I was a bit feeling safer. I know everyone would be cautious now and would have a chance to defend themselves if someone tried to harm them. But I was not worried at all to everyone. I was just worried to those I was getting close with. Because I know at the end of the day it would still sum up to me.

The play will be shown in two hours and I had to be early. It was a contest from different schools and lots of students would definitely flock in our gymnasium center. I didn’t want to sit at the back. I didn’t invite anyone to go with me. I was traumatized by what happened to Gwen when I invited her the last time. I went alone. I was just as nervous as the actors on stage. Time had come to start and my nerves were chilling inside. It was so dark in the audience area and the lights kept on blinking on stage. And you can see the dimming blue light that was giving glow to the performers and all you can feel was freezing cold from that air-conditioned that surrounded the place. Performers from every school were giving their best. As I saw Jessy coming out from back stage, I felt the goosebumps in every part of me. And when I heard her sang that song I felt like floating on air and I was beginning to feel something within my soul again. I cried a river on that song. As she sang every lyric, I began to realize that my life was like it and I never stopped til I learned my lesson. How I really wanted to say sorry to my mom and dad for being so stupid all these time and how I really wished that these changes in me would continue til my last breath. The song indeed told about the disappointments of a mother to her little girl but despite all that there was still room for change and follow the footsteps of a caring father. I was again fascinated. I was lost for words. If only I had realized my flaws a little earlier, I could have not left my parent’s home. If only I had listened to their every lecture I may have done better things. The competition had ended and our school ended up as champion again, it was like that even during my time and I was so proud.

I left the audience seat with that song in my heart. I kept humming it as I was walking through the exit of the gym. It was playing non-stop inside my head. “I may not be every mother’s dream for her little girl… but that’s alright as long as I can have one wish I pray when people look inside my life I want to hear them say.. She's got her Father's eyes, her Father's eyes, Eyes that find the good in things, when good is not around. Eyes that find the source of help, when help just can't be found..” How I love the song so much and it hit me deep and blew me out of my mind. How wonderful it is to have a family and I took them for granted, but I know I was making up to those wasted times.

Jessy was signaling to me from backstage to wait for her outside. I just nodded and waited. It had been almost an hour, there was no Jessy coming out from the gym and again I was so damn worried. I saw her colleagues already coming out but I didn’t saw her. “Have you seen Jessy?” I asked one of them. She just answered “I thought she had already gone home, I saw her… on her way through that door about an hour ago (pointing to the exit door). There we go again.. I was so anxious. Suddenly I heard voices shouting my name “Darling.. Darling.” Not far away I saw two girls waving at me.. It was Rhea and Jessy.. I was relieved. I immediately run to them and said “I’m so happy to see both of you.” “Thank God you’re here.” I added while catching my breath. But that relief never lasted. While talking to Jessy and Rhea our School Security approached me saying my dad was waiting for me the whole time on the parking area. So I went running to where our car was, looking around and there I saw the car with my dad sitting on the driver’s seat. I noticed he wasn’t moving at all. I thought he fell asleep while waiting for me. So I directly come to him and asked “Why are you here, I told you not to…Dad.. dad.. daaad” Dad was full of blood on his chest and his seat and I can’t believe what I was seeing. My Daddy..my daddy.. why did he had to suffer instead of me. “It should be me. It should be me.. “Aaaaaah Daaad daaad.” I shouted on top of my voice and was again devastated. I held him in my arms and wanted to find anything.. a sign of life maybe.. his pulse..his breath.. Jessy and Rhea were there witnessing the devastation I felt. Rhea kept on crying and Jessy was just there in shocked. They both ran to call for help and I was left with my Daddy. “I kept on giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation and kept on pushing hard on his chest.. I don’t want to lose him.. no I don’t want to.. I have to do something.. I won’t lose my Dad, no.. I won’t. I was begging, was kneeling and was screaming.. “Daaaad. Please wake up.. Don’t leave me.. Don’t leave me.. Dad.... pleeeeaase…” I kept putting my ears into his chest hoping I could still hear him breathing...kept pushing his chest hard… one two..three.. push…again and again… and a miracle was given to me that night. I saw a sign of life. Then I heard a heartbeat and I was tremendously thrilled. I kept shouting “Help.. someone please help..” Then I saw Jessy and Rhea coming back saying “Help is on its way.” They chorused. “Dad.. dad.. please hold on.. help is coming..” I said to him why holding him. “He’s alive.” Jessy said. “Hang in there Mr. Vadlit, Help is coming.” Rhea added. Then the ambulance came and they immediately took my dad.. applied first aid and put him in a stretcher. He was then taken to the nearest hospital near the school. I was still crying, can’t believe it would happen to my Dad. I was lucky Jessy and Rhea were with me that time. All I could do now was pray.. pray that Dad would be okay.. This time God listened to me and I was glad. He’s the wind that made me soar to heights, when I was falling he was the one catching me.. how can I lose my dad.. he’s my everything. Just like my favorite song.. I wanted to be noticed having my father’s eyes because he was truly my inspiration and my guide. Losing him would mean losing everything. I just promised Him up there that these changes I had been showing and doing to the world could continue and just to make sure my daddy would survive this great dilemma I caused him.

Jessy and Rhea came with me to the hospital and we waited for hours. I don’t want my mom to know at first but she had to know. She had been waiting for us to come home. I called her from the hospital and she came running through that entrance door. I helped her to the seat. She was there crying so hard and I can do nothing but to comfort her. Then the doctor came to us and said that Dad was now safe and I was so very happy that time. I felt like heaven and this part of my life made me more eager to do something about the cases of Gab, Shawwie and Gwen. I was ignited by this outcome and was hoping I could really find a lead to these crimes.