Make Me Unlove You

"It felt like goodbye."

Whitney only woke up when the Jeep was finally parked in Sienna’s driveway again. Megan had dropped both Nia and Hazel home, insisting they don’t wake the still sleeping raven-haired girl. The green-eyed girl grumbled about it for all of five minutes before Sienna shut her up with a kiss and an assurance that they’d see each other soon. 

Whitney, still trying to wake herself up, complained some more as both she and Megan made their way over to her motorbike. Megan, however, seemed more than a little energised which just served to frustrate her best friend some more. 

“Don’t kill us please.” She made sure to squeeze Whitney extra tight from behind in annoyance and it worked.

“I just might.” The older girl winked before starting the bike and taking off almost instantly because Sienna’s parents always complained about the noise. 

The pair rode the short distance with almost no one on the road with them and something about the stillness of the air and the exhilarating feeling of being on the bike with Whitney had Megan feeling a little brave.

Brave enough to detach herself from her best friend and allow her arms to fly above her head freely. It lasted all of two seconds before Whitney slapped her leg and brought the bike to a slow stop, lifting her visor and looking at Megan as if the girl had finally lost her mind completely.

“That’s how you die, you understand me?” Whitney practically growled as she spoke. “Don’t ever f*****g do that again.”

“Whit, I’m right here.” Megan weaved her arms around the older girl again. “Let’s go home.”

And a huge part of the green-eyed girl wanted to argue some more, she was more than ready to really tear into Megan, she had the argument settled on the tip of her tongue but something stopped her. And it was something so stupidly simple that she knew she’d internally chastise herself for it later.

But the feel of Megan’s heartbeat against her back eased her. 

The younger girl was right. She was right there.

Whitney started the bike again and continued their ride back home. 

If she was being completely honest with herself; the moment she’d seen that wave pummel against her girlfriend and best friend...her heart had stopped. Megan, on her best day, wasn’t a good swimmer. She’d nearly drowned in the third grade in the shallow end of the pool trying to learn how to hold her breath properly. 

So when Whitney saw her body get submerged beneath the water, she felt everything in her grow cold. She replayed the moment over and over for hours after, reminding herself every time that Megan was okay. She was alive. She was right there with her. 

When she’d managed to get Sienna out of the water and into fresh air and the girl had then mentioned a head wound in relation to Megan, Whitney had felt the air leave her lungs. And it only truly returned when she saw Megan make her way out of the water and into the arms of their friends.

In that very moment Whitney knew that life wasn’t worth a thing without her best friend. She could go away for months, they could go without talking for weeks, but the assurance that Megan was still alive eased her in ways that the younger girl could probably never comprehend. Their bond was something Whitney had known for too long to entertain ever losing. 

They came to a stop outside of the tattooed girl’s house and Whitney slipped off her bike quickly, making a beeline for the front door without so much as acknowledging Megan, very well aware that the girl may very well tip her bike over in her attempt to get off. 

“Whit!” The brunette whisper yelled to get her best friend’s attention. “Whitney Starling Knowles,” Megan stopped a few feet away from the older girl, arching a brow and waiting for her to turn around. And because the two could very rarely deny each other anything, Whitney did as expected. “Come with me.” Megan gestured to the side of the house. 

She began walking over before the older girl had time to protest.

“What are you doing?”

“Sneaking back in,” Megan chuckled softly, grabbing for the old ladder they’d used when they were sixteen to sneak in and out of Whitney house for parties. “Come on, like old times.”

“We can just use the front door now.” Whitney rolled her eyes but of course, that wouldn’t deter Megan when the younger girl had her mind set on something. 

She was already halfway up and Whitney knew arguing from that point on would be redundant. She followed behind the stubborn girl, wondering when Megan had gained the confidence to climb the ladder with such ease. Years ago she would have to persuade the brunette to make her way up and it would always be a slow process. She would always have to promise that she’d catch Megan if she slipped.

But within less than three minutes, the pair were on the roof outside of Whitney’s window. And instead of slipping back into the house, Megan made herself comfortable right outside of the window, leaning back on her hand as if she wasn’t two storeys up and the clumsiest person Whitney knew to exist.

“Come on, I’m tired and this really isn’t safe. Megan Chase and anything that’s not the flat ground seems like a hazard. And I’ve seen you slip over your own feet on flat ground.” The green-eyed girl tried to drag her friend in.

“Shut up, sit with me.” The younger girl smiled, so completely sure of herself that Whitney couldn’t help but slowly comply with her wishes.

The raven-haired girl made a point to sit as close as possible to her friend so the moment Megan were to slip, Whitney would catch her. 

“You still snore when you sleep.” Megan teased softly, nudging Whitney.

“Sienna says it’s cute.”

“You hate being cute,” The brown-eyed girl rolled her eyes. “But I think you’d be just about anything for that girl.”

“I kinda hate it.”

“No you don’t.” Megan scoffed.

“I thought I might die today, you know?” Whitney ran a hand through her hair, the moonlight bouncing off her sun-kissed skin beautifully and Megan knew if she could freeze time; it would be this moment. This very moment where Whitney couldn’t look more beautiful to her if she tried. “You were still underwater, I just got Sienna up and it was just a second. Like literally a second between you appearing after her...but in that second, Meg, I...I was sure I was dying.”

“How about I promise never to die on you?” The brunette winked, a playful smile touching her lips. 

“No one can promise that, idiot.”

“Me,” Megan nodded firmly. “I’m promising it to you right now. I, Megan Chase, shall never die on you, Whitney Knowles.”

“You’re not getting it,” The older girl rolled her eyes. “I don’t wanna do life without you. You annoy the hell out of me, but you’re...permanent. Stuck to me like glue. When you’re not here...I mean, I can deal with it but I don’t really want to. So finish college and so will I...but we meet in the middle somewhere. Be in the same zip code again, okay?”

“What? You’re still gonna want me around four years from now?”

“I’ve survived over ten years now, what’s forever in the grand scheme of things?”

“You and Sienna gonna have a room set up for me in your dream house?”

“Always.” Whitney leaned back on her hands. “You know that.”

“Hey, Whit,” 

“Hmm?” The older girl looked to her best friend and in that very moment, their lips met.

And it lasted just long enough for Whitney to feel the contours of Megan’s lips. It lasted right up until she realised what was happening. It lasted long enough for Megan to realise that in every life she would ever live...nothing like kissing Whitney could ever compare. It was the peak of...everything.

And when Whitney pulled away slowly; because she knew she had to, because Megan shouldn’t have done that, she let their foreheads come to rest against one another.

“Don’t ever do that again, okay?” The older girl closed her eyes for a moment as she slowly shook her head. “I choose her. I never want to complicate my feelings when it comes to that. You are half of my soul and Sienna...she’s the other half.”

“I know.” Megan smiled; a gentle...kind smile.

“Good.” Whitney sat back and caressed her best friend’s cheek softly. “You know I love you.”

“Like I know the sun will rise.” Megan winked. “She’s good for you.”

“She’s more than I thought I’d ever get.” Whitney sat back again and let the moon cast its light on her once again. “When do you leave this time?”

“In two days,” Megan sighed softly, leaning her head on her best friend’s shoulder. “I’m...I’m gonna be away a bit longer this time. College and flight expenses.”

“You’ll call?”

“Always.”

“Why’d you kiss me, Meg?” Whitney turned her head. “We’ve had countless moments like this and...we’ve never crossed that line.”

“I guess...I needed to.”

“It felt like goodbye.”

“No,” The younger girl shook her head slowly, sighing softly. “It was just...I’ll miss you.”

Whitney pressed a kiss to Megan’s forehead and nodded. “I’ll miss you too, idiot.”