Kissing Iris(MATURE)

      "Are you sure you're okay with this Apryl?" Rachel asked hesitant. Her floral pink gown reached just below her tan knees. She placed a strand of fiery red hair behind her ear, that had escaped her tight knit ponytail. A nervous habit she acquired whenever she was unsure of herself. "Because if you're not, we can forget this whole idea." She mumbled. I looked up at her through my lashes. She was so pretty. Much prettier than I, but she'd argue with an iron fist if I tried to say it out loud. Plum rosy red lips, and colorful cheeks. Her eyes were a special kind of green, the kind of green you could get lost in for hours. Her jaw was so perfectly angular, and her tan flawless skin made me poison with envy. Her hair was a dark red that fell in long cascades down her back, that is if her mom didn't make her put it up like she had today. My eyes trailed down to her neck, where right under her white lace collar I could see a glimpse of the gold cross necklace I had given her as a thirteenth birthday gift four years ago. She was never seen without it. I continued my scrutiny down to her breast where my eyes lingered just a bit longer than necessary, down to her stocking covered legs and ending at her feet. She was wearing her pink flats she hated so much because they were too 'rubbery'...no doubt her mother made her do it, a fight that would have gone down in history. She was dressed in her Sunday's best. Church was about to begin in any minute, I could already hear the familiar voices of the families filling up the empty pews from my position in the church attic. A ripple of anxiety made its way down my spine. We didn't have much time left, the pastor—my father—would begin in any minuet and most likely will come searching for me. It was I who brought Rachel up here with my crazy proposition. The proposition that started with me waking up early Saturday morning, while mother and father slept riding my bike two blocks to her house and slipping the note with our meeting time and where through her cracked open bedroom window. The Benson's always kept Rachel's bedroom window cracked open due to the June summer weather, amid I only knew her bed was by said window because of her constant complaints that she took the brunt of the weathers beating even with the window open. But even though it was my idea, I couldn't help the feeling that my nerves were about to jump out of my skin and start tap dancing. My palms begin to sweat feverishly, and my heart beat just a bit harder than humanly necessary. I looked up at her once more.  Her face showed an understanding expression, the You-can-back-out-now-I-won't judge look. But her eyes...they glinted with a different story. One filled with straight determination and an innocent curiosity. My heart leaped. If she could be this brave, even though we were about to do something so taboo...then I could pretend to do the same, just for two minutes. With a deep breath, I shake my head.  "N-no. I want to do this. I NEED to do this," I sputtered.  "Why?" She countered with a raised eyebrow. "I mean...I'm all for helping you out, and since I'm going against the community law by doing this I believe you have some explaining to do." I watched as she crossed her elegant arms looking me straight in the eyes, silently telling me that she had all day. But we both knew we didn't. My father would be quite perturbed if I wasn't downstairs any minute, and Rachel's parents the same. So, I fessed up. "I've been having these strange dreams," I looked down at my feet and started knotting my slim fingers together. "Dreams about you...us." I whispered. All I got was silence. As the silence stretched on I decided to glance up, but all that greeted me was a stunning red-haired beauty with her eyebrows furrowed as if she was trying to work out some arduous math equation. "Your losing me here, what kind of dreams?" She said haughtily.  "Me and you kissing, holding hands, touching in ways we haven't touched before," I blurted "in ways I refuse to go into detail about quite frankly. But it's stuck with me." I was making great an effort to keep my eyes averted from her green jewels, not wanting to see the disgust that will be on her face.  "Have you told your parents?" She asked me in a torturous whisper. I started tangling my fingers even more as a bead of sweat made its way down my forehead. "Of course not. You know the rules. Even dreaming about someone of the same s*x is forbidden," I whispered " they'd skin me alive." Same s*x love was the biggest law you could break in our small religious community. It was punishable by death because it was an unforgivable sin...or at least that's what my father told the people so long ago.   "You're not going to tell them, are you?" I asked trying not to visibly swallow the lump in my throat. The lump of fear. Even though it was my choice to give Rachel that note and bring her up here, it never occurred to me of the consequences I would most likely face if she didn't agree. Did I foolishly put too much trust in her? I basically just put my very life in her hands, silently telling her to do with it as she pleases. Hopefully she shows me mercy. I hadn't realized I was looking at my feet until her intake of breath caused me to raise my head in her direction. "Of course I'd never say a word! You're my best friend," her gaze lowered "My god I hope you think better of me than that." She began to pout, and oh god that pout did vulgar things to my insides. Why did god make this girl so beautiful? "I think the world of you," I replied staring at my hands once more. " please excuse my foolish assumption."  I looked up and watched her cross her elegant arms as she stared at me with that studying expression once more. "So you believe doing this would make these dreams go away?" She asked  " Yes. I believe it's just my subconscious reacting to all my fathers lectures, he's been quite restive lately because of  gay pride next month." I watched as she pondered this explanation, testing it and turning it over in her mind, silently deciding if she believed me. I stayed silent. But when she finally opened her mouth to tell me her verdict, she said the last thing I expected.  "Maybe your gay." She said so simply. As if she didn't just spend all her life being told that word was a sin, That we didn't go to Sunday  school every week being taught the evils of that word. Like my father's—MY—family didn't spend centuries building this community to purify the minds of our people of that word. That hatred word. Gay. I couldn't be. My father—the pastor—spent his days preaching about god to our people, showing them the Christian way of living, and warning them of the evils of being gay and the consequences they would face for such a choice. It was a CHOICE. Something that was instilled in our heads very young and it wasn't a choice I was making. One day I would be the priestess of this town, It will be my job to preach to the next generation and purify they're minds just as my father has. I couldn't be gay, and Rachel by even suggesting it, has tied an invisible noose around my neck.  " I,m not."  I said bluntly.  "But how do you know?" She replied with the same monotonous tone as I.  "Because I just know," I said while clenching my jaw. "Look I didn't invite you here to analyze my sexuality, are you in?" I said while rolling my eyes. She stood there a moment longer, analyzing me once again. Those eyes making my skin tingle wherever they lingered.   "Yes I'm in." She replies while taking a courageous step towards me. I willed my feet to move as well. I could hear both our feet shuffling across the wood flooring. Our time was running out and fast. My heart beat increased and I was becoming frantic. this was it, the moment I've been dreaming of for months. As we closed the diminutive distance between us, I looked up once again at my best friend seeing her eyes flicker. was it panic? was it second thoughts? was this right? what in the heck was I doing? before I could comprehend  what I was doing I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't do this.  "What's wrong Apryl?" Rachael asked me worried. I just stared at her. I was so overwhelmed with my conflicting emotions I wasn't sure i'd be able to put it into simple facile words for her to analyze once again. "I can't do this." I said simply while staring her right in the face. She shook her head at me.  "Yes you can! got darn it, you did not just give me that whole speech to just back out now!" she yelled. I shook my head as I looked down at my feet once again. "I really ca-" before I could finish, I heard her mutter the words 'Screw it' and grab my face. The feel of her soft lips on mine was a shock. I froze for a bit with my hands hovering slightly over her hips not wanting to touch her. unexpectedly as the kiss went on feelings started to overwhelm me. electricity was building in me, starting from my head and leading down to my toes. I was coming alive but at the same time dying all at once. this feeling was utter bliss but at the same time torture. I wrapped my arms around Rachael's slim waist pulling her closer. At this moment she could have pulled away, she could have told me stop and walk away. Instead she did something dangerous. She put her hands in my hair, and stuck her tongue down my throat. I moaned as I gripped her harder,exploring her mouth with my own tongue, then kissing her neck, her jaw, and then back to her hungry lips. her gasps and moans were twisting my insides into nothing. we were so absorbed in each other, becoming more hungry every second. I could stay like this forever.  And I would have stayed like that forever, if it wasn't for the sound of the door slamming open. Before  I could react, Rachael was torn from my arms in a flash. I watched her body slam against the long chest of a man. she was half way off the ground only being held by her wrist. The man wore a pair of leather dress shoes, and a classic suit, ironed to the crisp. I could practically smell the starch from my position on the floor. This man was seething with anger, his expression was murderous. my eyes trailed up the face of the blond man holding my best friend like a piece of dead meat...I looked up at my fathers vexed stare.  "this is an atrocity! This is unacceptable!" he screamed glaring down at me with pure disgust. "I should whip the both you! leave you black and blue hanging from a neck tie in front of  the entire town!" he said while shaking Rachel roughly like a ragged doll as she dangle there helpless. I flinched at every word. "Mr. Jacobs your hurting me!" Rachael yelled out, tears of fear falling down her cheeks in a steady stream. "SHUT UP" he screamed while shaking her even harder. She sobbed apologizing over and over, hoping he'd grant her mercy. but my father wasn't one to give warnings. punishment in his mind was the only form of action that was fit enough to make the people fear sinning. I also suspected he got a sick thrill from it. "Dad please..." was all I was able to whisper out in my frozen state of shock.  He then turned his over powering anger to me. "And you! you are a disgrace to this family! you've tainted our bloodline, you'll be the reason the father almighty turns his back on us!" he spat at my face. "We'll say she attacked you. tried to sexually r**e you with her gay disease." he said while staring Rachel right in the eyes. I watched her wimper away. "Your coming with me, I will personally see to your Re-Education" my father said as he began to walk away with Rachel. She began screaming blood crushing screams. So loud, I was sure someone must have heard from downstairs. those people...sitting blissfully in their seats on the pews waiting for my father to come enlighten them and give them security with his persuading words of sins. All of them oblivious to the nightmare going on right above their very heads. I watched horrified as my father slapped Rachel so hard she passed out. Seeing her limp in the arms of this hating man made me sick to my stomach.  "No dad STOP" I yelled running after his retreating body. A sharp sting hit my face so abruptly that I fell back, the force causing me to hit my face on a near by coat rack. My father had slapped me. Blood began pooling around me, and with my body too weak to move I just lie there, watching my father take away my only happiness.  "You can stay locked in this attic alone for the rest of church, think about your sins, pray the lord will forgive you for failing him...i'll be back to collect you before dinner." My father said while throwing Rachel over his shoulders still unconscious and leaving. I heard the sound of the lock going into place. I lost her. She was being taken to an unknown fate, and it was all my fault. I was wrong all along, it was I who had tied an invisible noose around her neck and right now... The chair was just kicked from under her.