Birth of a stoner

Chapter 1 Birth of a Stoner. In the delivery room Mr. and Mrs. Green is ready to deliver the first bundle of joy. A baby boy they named Ray Ray Green III after his dad and his grandfather. "Push Push Push!" yelled the doctor. "One more push." As the baby came out, the room filled with a sweet but rather funky smell and smoke. As the doctor hands the baby boy over Mr. Green sees an unusual mark on the baby boy butt. "What in the seedless watermelon is that?" "Is that what I think it is?" " What is it, baby?" Mrs. Green asks her husband. "It's the mark, the mark of the stoners." "What are you talking about a mark?". "Tell her doctor it's the mark of the stoners."Well, Mrs. Green 10 years ago, they discovered a group of people with the same birthmark a mark shaped like a weed plant. "So you're telling me my baby got a birthmark shaped like a m*******a plant."Yes, yes, he does."So what does this mean for my baby boy?". "I got this doc." "Since the discovery of these people, they." "Did I ask you, Ray Ray?". "No, i ask the doctor, so shut up, Ray Ray."Well, they're still trying to find out how many people have this birthmark."But all we know is 15 out of 25 people we have found are rich and famous."So what you're telling me is."You gave birth to a ston....". "Stoner baby." "Shut the f**k UP RAY RAY". "Yes a Stoner baby". Chapter 2 First time getting high. Bell rings another day of school is done. "So Ray Ray what's going on today?". "What's up Big Bright?". "s**t just another day at this lame ass school". Now Ray Ray and Big Bright been friends since the 3rd grade when Big Bright moved here from California. But back to the question. "Work homie". "Maaannnnn work we got year's to work let's kick it". "Dude, I got work next time Big Bright". "Ok Ray Ray next time, now go be the white man's b***h". "Your late Ray" "I know Mr. Richard I'm sorry the bus was late". "Yeah yeah blame it on the bus just get to work". "Man I hate that old uncle Tom, sport cream smelling missing my left side of my teeth looking ass boy". "What you say?". "Do I need to get carts or bag groceries?". "What's up Chris?". "s**t, about to clock in, what's good with you?". "Nothing, getting on Mr. Richard last nerve like always". "Man I don't know how you still got a job here bro". "Fool you do more then me here, how do you still got a job nigga". "I hear how Mr. Richard talks to you Chris and you just sit there like("man f**k you")what you be on". "I'll show you at lunch". "Bet". 12:38 p.m. "lunch time you minors". "Ray Ray come here". "What's good Chris?". "You ask me what I be on when Mr. Richard be talking to me, right?". "Sure, so what is it?". "Follow me". "Now as we make are way around back of the store and up the fire escape to a empty room on top of the store". "Stop". "What's wrong Chris?". "Brain fart". "You ever been high?". "High like how?". "Nigga, high high nigga". "O you mean weed high". "Yeah yeah all the time". "Now if I was Pinocchio my nose would have just grow about 2 feet". "See I never been high before but I know of weed and how it make you feel from my pops Ray Ray Jr.". "So you good with smoking this (shows Ray Ray a fat but kinda limp blunt) sticky with me". "Sure fire that s**t up". 12:45 p.m. "dude what in the f**k was in that weed?". "Some strong s**t right?". "Man I can't feel my face or my legs or my whole f*****g body". "Bro just chill your just high nothing wrong". "Is it time to go back to work?". "Dude, we get a hour for lunch just chill and relax". "Relax, yeah just relax". Chapter 3 Met the gang. "Yo yo what's good my people". "What's good Ray Ray". "Ok pause, let me introduce my gang to you". "First, there Lil Tommy we been friends since kindergarten and our pops been friends since middle school". "Now Lil Tommy is that one friend who is down for what ever as long as it involves money". "My A1 since day 1". "Next, we have Triple T". "Triple T moved to the hood when he was 12 and went to a private school". "We call him Triple T cause his real name Theodore Tyrone Thompson". " Triple T is the lady's man of the gang". "Lastly, there Buddy". "Me and Buddy go back to the 3rd with Big Bright". "Buddy story is the stuff of legends in the hood". "His dad is Rick Clifford yes that Rick Clifford". "NBA superstar, 3x M.V.P, 4x time champion Rick Clifford". "Buddy is the man we all want to be". "So now that you met the gang let's get back to the story". "Spark that wood(a leaf or cigar outer shell used to roll up weed in) Lil Tommy". "Yeah that's the stuff I need in my lungs not this fresh air s**t". Cough. "Pass that s**t to the left Tommy". "I got you Ray chill". "How this nigga spark the wood when Buddy rolled it?". "Ya'll know the rules". "If you roll it you spark it". "To late now it's in the air puff puff pass niggas". "Where you get this from Rick?". "Out my dads stash last weekend when I was over there". "s**t, where he get it from?". "None of your damn business Lil Tommy". Cough Cough. "Damn Ray Ray slow down and enjoy the weed let it take you to another place and zone out". "Who is that walking up the street like they got a hot rod up they ass". "I don't know Triple T". "Who ever they are look mad as hell". Chapter 4 Bye Bye. "Its been 4 long years guys but you know what?" "We made it to graduation in one piece and alive". "So let's go walk this stage and make it official". "We at Budtown High would like to welcome you all to the graduating class of 2018". "Please keep your cheers to a low volume so everyone can hear there child name been called". "Thank you". "Sky Andrew" "THATS MY BABY SHE MADE IT" "Yes Yes she sure did now keep it down". "Mark Ash" "Hell yeah my boy the s**t flex on hoes son". "Ok Ok now let's keep the language to school appropriate words". "Suck a long d**k Principal Dickerson". "Now is that how we are supposed to talk". "Gee Wiz come on people". "Tommy Bush" "THAT'S MY BOY THAT'S MY BOY". "Buddy Clifford" "All s**t this nigga really did it y'all f**k yo' daddy nigga we did it baby". "La'RayRay Green" "Thank you Juses we made it". "Tyrone Thompson". "Poplock that's s**t son, you the man right now". "Please stay seated until all names are called". "We only have 2 more left people please comeback and sit down". "Kiss my FAT ASS Principal d**k". "Mrs Clifford how dare you". "Boy Buddy yo mama wild". "She drunk my dad anit show up so f**k it". "Let's get high my niggas". "I'm catch up with y'all in a minute". "And now the last person to walk this summer school graduation is Bill Bucktree (Big Bright)". "No f*****g way this niggas name is Bill Bucktree, is see now why he go by Big Bright". "Where the blunt at niggas I needs to smoke after today". Cough Cough "hell yeah Ray Ray we grown ass men today". "No more waking up at 6 a.m". "No more homework". "No more nasty as school lunch". "No more stank breath Mr. Longrod blowing funk everywhere". "Just fresh air and Gee be Good soul food for lunch". Chapter 5 Adulting. (Singing) "Happy Birthday to you" "Happy Birthday to you" " Happy Birthday dear Ray Ray" "Happy Birthday to you". "Happy 21th birthday son". "Now the black way y'all". "God damn it auntie Pam for real". "Hell yeah, so come on everyone". "Don't make auntie Pam go H.A.A.M in this b***h". (Singing) "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you". "Happy Birthday to you". "Ok ok now let the boy, I mean young man open his gifts". "But it's one more way to sing happy birthday". "Auntie Pam if you don't shut your 50 ways to sing happy birthday ass down This will be your last one". "f**k you La'RayRay the 2nd". "Looking like someone's burt a peanut in the shell ass boy". "You know what Pam I'm just here and puff on blunt before it get ugly in here". "O wait that s**t happened when you walked in the house". "You ole broke back hippopotamus ass b***h". "Cant stand that fat b***h, mama should have left her ass in the tree she found her in". "Damn pops chill". "No no no she always starting s**t". "Hit this". Cough Cough. "Well damn son where you get this s**t from?". Cough Cough. "This s**t fire as f**k". Cough Cough. "You gone to have to hook me up with this nigga". "And you going to need to pass me my blunt back". "My bad son". "So what's you game plan now since you grown?". "You know what pops I been thinking a lot about going to college". "Someone say college?". "Yes granddad I did". "Good go go make this family proud boy". "But on the other hand I really want to find out more about my birthmark" "Birthmark?". "Yeah granddad my birthmark". "What the f**k is wrong with your birthmark?". "You never seen my birthmark?". "f**k No". "You never change my dipper granddad?". "f**k No". "How have you never seen your grandsons birthmark dad?". Cough Cough. "I hate looking at my own d**k so why would I want to see his little d**k for?". "So have you ever changed me?". Puff Puff Puff Puff. Granddad Green looks into his son's eyes and says "of course the b***h made me". "Dad". "What?". "That's mom your talking about". "I know rest her soul but, she was a b***h more times then some". Chapter 6 Joy Rideing. "Woooo I see somebody's daddy got the a car". "What's up Buddy?". "s**t, about to roll around campus and check out the ladies". "Well lets roll on my nigga". Cough Cough. "Check out the honey in the black leggings over there". "Titties everywhere". "s**t, look at the box on that nerdy chick". Both at the same time. "Damnnnnnn". "Yo". "Knock Knock" "who's there?". "Rabbit". "Rabbit who?". "Rabbit punch" punches Buddy in the throat". "Fucker you made my teeth click". "Look at dude over there in the black shirt". "That nigga 12:02 a.m black". "Get the f**k out of here with that weak s**t". Cough Cough. "Its cloudy as f**k in here son". "I know". Cough Cough. "Look Look Ray Ray". "What". "The chick over there bent over". "I see her". "Bet it smells like rubber d***s and artificial babys". "What type of fuckery is that s**t Buddy". "You see that b***h over there". "Which one?". "Short thick yellow bone in the blue sundress". "Now that's a bad ass chick dude". "Pull over". "Dude, we just out joy riding enjoying the day no time for chicks". "Hater". "Just like Triple T can't stand to see a nigga get some p***y". "Man, you go here if it was ment to be then you will see her again". Cough Cough. "I guess you right". "Of course I'm right". "But if you not I'm be your stepfather for a week". "I'm walk around your house butt as naked eating fruit snacks and drinking juice juice nigga". "f**k you". "I need to stop by the store". "Middle Market". "What's up Prince?". "The f**k you two jack offs want?". "Your moms big ass on a silver platter". "f**k you Ray Ray". "f**k you Prince". "No no f**k you, hurry up get what the f**k you need and get out". "Don't make me call I.C.E". "Call them you dumbass I'm not Mexican I'm Puerto Rican". "Give me my shells and pop". "Who got some loud pack on campus?". "Go down 13th to Blueberry Hill and make a right". "Who is this?". "Dude is in my math class". "Park behind the red car". "Hurry up Ray Ray". "Sup Rick?". "s**t, come in". "What you need?". "Quarter". "Green crack, Blue dream, AK47, Master kush, Train wreck, KK, Girl Scout Cookies etc". "Blue Dream I guess". "Cool". "$75 bucks". "Bet". "Take me with ya'll please". "Yeah, no no next time maybe".