Of All

Of all the things I could be doing right now here I am standing in front of my bathroom mirror giving myself a long pep talk before my first day of High School.. Yup you read that right I’m a Freshman but more like fresh meat as the saying tends to go. The names Aspen Gray and I am fifteen years old. My family and I are new to Woodland falls, South Carolina. I will admit that what we have seen of it so far it is such a beautiful state but personally I’ve always been one with nature myself and no views here compare to Polson, Montana. Where we were born and raised! Truthfully we loved where we lived but it just wasn’t cutting out anymore. Work for mom wasn’t steady enough. We were struggling hard and mom made the difficult decision to pack us all up from a place that we have always known to be our safe haven and moved us over two thousand miles away because let’s face it the population here is much greater than Montana plus we have some of mom’s family here. We grew up hardly knowing anyone in our family. It’s really only been mom and us three kids. Mom’s an only child and tragically her parents passed away in a car accident a few years before she got pregnant with Asher and I. We also never really knew our fathers side of the family either, not even til this day. The family that lives around here is mom’s aunt Elaine, her uncle Nicholas and their four kids Nicholas II, Marnie, Paula and Paul. As of what mom knows everyone is married and has kids aside from Paul. Mom told us that her cousin Marnie who was always like a sister to her growing up has a few kids that are actually around our age. All of our other cousin’s are in college or are babies. Mom said she hasn’t seen or heard from her family in over seventeen years and I guess it was mostly her fault for their falling out. After our grandparents passed her family tried to get her to come back this way but she refused since she was convinced our father was end game and she would be living her fairy tale happily ever after wherever he was. It didn’t exactly happen that way unfortunately. The cool thing about it all is I guess that mom’s side of the family is a strong carrier for the twin gene. Her younger cousins Paula and Paul are twins too. Marnie and her husband Stefan also have a set. Their first baby who is actually mom’s godson was a boy and they named him Sev then a year later they had a baby girl and named her Sasha and about two years after that they welcomed their twin boys Maverick and Mason. Mom said Sev would be a Junior now, Sasha would be a Sophomore and the twins would be in the Eighth grade. With all of us in the same schools I’m sure we’ll see them from time to time and maybe even grow strong relationships with them someday. Our first time seeing our new house was awesome! It’s a bit on the older side but it was a steal. Cozy and affordable as mom put it and once we start upgrading things here and there it’ll be beyond perfect. The best part is I finally have my own bedroom! It’s all mine. I don’t have to share it with either of my siblings. Although my brother and I do share the large balcony that’s accessible from both our rooms and the bathroom that’s connected in between our rooms it’s still nothing less of perfection! I’m excited to see what my future holds but as of right now let’s get back on track with this just a little bit. Long story short our childhood was rough. Our parents divorced when we were real young and there was no real trace of our father since he skipped out shortly after my baby sister was born. Apparently it was too much for him and we haven’t heard from him since. Not that we give two sh.its about it. My mother Lucy on the other hand was far too busy finding us a place to live back then and starting her career to really notice. Now as a registered nurse she is constantly working her a.ss off. Honestly who can blame her. Especially with three kids to provide for she’s been married to her job for what feels like forever but there’s really never been a time where we weren’t fed, clothed or had a roof over our head. She would tell us as kids make sacrifices while you are young so you can provide a better life retired. That’s always stayed with me. My twin brother Asher is your typical boy next-door. He is a super teddy bear on the inside but has one tough exterior and truthfully he’s the most mysterious one out of us. I believe that started to happen once our father left because Ash instantly took the role of becoming “man of the house” upon himself at the young age of three. Sometimes a little too seriously as we got older. I know what your probably wondering.. Are we identical? Are we fraternal? Well the answer is yes we are identical twins. We have brown hair and olive skin. Our eyes are a mix of hazel and green. Sometimes they can be more green or sometimes they can be on the brown side. All depends. That’s really the only thing we take after our father.. That I know of. Who knows who that guy even really is. There’s a lot of confusion going on there. I don’t remember him much just his features and that his name is Eric. If my brother remembers anything about him he definitely blocks it out and Sage was so little she would have no idea. This last month has been strange like who even knows what’s been going on with Asher. The move has been the hardest on him so far especially since he had to leave behind that trash he calls girlfriend. Personally I’m not a fan.. I could NEVER stand Ana Santini. She’s blonde and short not that her appearance matters because she is the most miserable person I have ever met. Plays the good girl roll but when in reality she has been the biggest bi.tch ever since we were in the Fifth grade.. Made all of us other girls in class who weren’t cheerleading feel like sh.it about ourselves. People shouldn’t have to be bullied into doing anything and I will never be interested in cheering. I was more of a dancer as a kid. I’ve lost that passion over the years but maybe it’ll come back someday.. I wonder to myself. Back when we were kids it was so stupid and I wish I could’ve been stronger because then I could have stood up to her many times instead of crying to my mom after school.. My family didn’t know who was doing it either. They would just be there for me. I hated hiding or feeling weak.. Heck the only reason she even got my brother’s attention is because she was the cheerleader assigned to him for the season in middle school. You know for baking them stuff and the other sh.it they do. I honestly don’t know but once he was in her trap she didn’t let go and has always made him weigh on her hand and foot like some little servant boy. Fifth grade was the last time I ever let her try to get under my skin and while dating Ash I would speak up anytime she would instantly try to play the victim card in conversations I would hear. Yet she’d still get him against me so I would have to end up leaving the room anyways.. Yep.. My own twin having me leave.. Can you believe that sh.it? He deserves better in that so called “relationship” but I’m a hundred percent sure he will never understand that if he hasn’t already. I pray for the day that they break up I know he will be so hurt but just imagine how much clear minded he will be afterwards. I don’t know what he even see’s in her but it’s gotta be only puppy love, Like how can you be SO sure you are in love when you are this young! There is so much life to be lived! They’ve only been together for like three years.. No one normal stays together their whole lives from age thirteen there is just no way.. I will believe it when I see it through! Saved the best for last. The favorite of the family. Our baby sister Sage. She’s a little dash of sugar but mostly all spice and at only the age of thirteen I think that’s pretty damn good. She’s just starting to figure herself out but has always had a passion to explore the world, Her bucket list is endless and she has been adding to it since she was ten years old. She’s definitely the dreamer out of us three, Although Ash sometimes is too. I know they both will do great things someday. They inspire me to follow my dreams, I just hope I come across them sooner or later. As for the looks department, Sage totally takes after mom. They are basically twins. Dark hair, blue eyes, delicate fair skin. But don’t let that part fool you.. As delicate as she may look she’ll kick your teeth in for sure and she doesn’t take anyone’s crap. She is also a very giving soul and is definitely the type to take the shirt right off of her back in a heartbeat if you needed it to. I’ve actually witnessed her do that once and mom almost lost her mind at her eight year old child practically naked at the park because she gave a homeless girl her shirt, pants and shoes. All she had on was her underwear and socks. Thankfully mom carried spares in the car and was able to dress Sage again plus gave the little girl’s family a few extra items and some cash for them to get stuff to eat. Lastly as for me I’m usually more of the reserved one in the family. I’ve always had to play peacemaker between my siblings. They both tend to be hot heads at times and man do they keep me on my toes! I also tend to keep to myself most of the time in school that’s why I never really had many friends growing up besides Ash and Sage. I am starting to come out of my shell and being in a new place with a fresh start I really do want to make a good impression. It’s a new school after all with people I have never met before and I will be with them for the next four years of my life. Most importantly I will be the most authentic me. I just hope that moving here won’t be the biggest mistake.