|07| Miracle
1630 Words
|07| Miracle
When my mom told me that we would be flying to U.S. and stay there probably for the rest of my life, I wasn't nervous at all. I disliked the idea because I grew up in the Philippines and I'm already comfortable living my life there but they had just to ruin it.
The first time I got kicked out of school, I was even grinning from ear to ear.
Facing my angry and disappointed parents was nothing.
But me nervous? That was impossible. Please highlight the word was because that was in the past because I am nervous as f**k right now as Sir Bill handed us our examination results.
I never thought that this day would come.
"Chill, Sera. I'm so sure that you'll pass the exams." Gavin said and smiled to comfort me. Good thing he's beside me or else I would've freaked out.
I don't know how to freak out but I know I would've freaked out! Wait, is that even possible? Ugh.
"Someone's nervous," Taehyung, obviously ticking my patience off, said in a singsong manner and I did nothing but to give him a glare.
"Shut up, V. Don't make her fret more," Gavin said to his friend.
"Taehyung Jeon." Taehyung immediately got up from his seat to receive his exam results snd I saw how nervous his eyes are. This korean dude! He's the one to talk but he's also nervous as f**k!
"Gavin Wraith Smith."
Gavin received his paper coolly and when he read its content he seemed contented with his results. Damn. I am so nervous! I need to do well in my exams or else I'll be so disappointed! I've never put such extensive efforts in studying and if I still flunked the test then I don't know what to do anymore.
"Seraphine Mallory Gray." With shaky hands, I got up from my seat and walked towards Mr. Bill who has this serious expression on his face that made me more nervous that I was awhile ago.
"Congratulations. You passed the exams." But those words are not enough for me. With my hands shaking I read the content of my paper and my mouth hung wide open.
Seriously?
"You can have the rest of the period for yourself. Year ranking are now posted at the announcement board and MAE portal. Congratulations for a job well done, class."
I walked mindlessly towards my seat and handed my paper to Gavin with shaking hands.
"Did I read it right?" I asked in an almost inaudible voice. "Gavin did I read it right?"
"What the hell?" Taehyung exclaimed as he read the paper that I gave to Gavin. "What kind of brain do you have, Finn!?"
Shit. s**t.
"Oh my God Finn!" Maria's loud voice echoed inside the four walls of our room as she run to me with open arms. "Are you okay? Are you? Tell me! Tell me!" She asked dramatically.
"You're the top student for the first grading!"
"Damn girl. You perfected all of our exams and even answered all the bonus questions." Gavin said in amusement and then gave me my paper back.
"So all this time you were just a lazy a*s? What a miracle!" Taehyung said and messed my hair while chuckling. "Keep up the good work, Finn!"
"Your parents will be happy to hear the news!" Maria pinched my cheeks and leaned on the table. "If I were your mother I would be so proud of you!"
"You think so?" I asked. A part of me is hesitant to tell my parents about the exam results because I don't know what would be their reaction to this. Will they be happy? Proud? I don't know. They never gave the attention that I needed while growing up so I don't know them that much.
"I don't think so. I know so!" Maria cheered and it lighten up my mood. Maybe I will try. There's no harm in trying, right?
The whole day passed by with the students congratulating me for being the top student this grading. As much as I want to party for this, I totally forgot about the social hierarchy that this school has. With my grades skyrocketed, my rank in social hierarchy boosted up, too. No wonder a certain girl gives me enough side eyes to last for a lifetime.
"Congratulations. Enjoy your position while it lasts," the girl said with a smirk. Confused but with an idea in my head, my mouth rattled without filter.
"I'm sorry but who are you?" I asked. I heard Maria snorted beside me and Taehyung's laughter behind us. I don't want to assume who she is and honestly I'm not even looking at the social hierarchy rankings because it's Maria who's updating me with all those rumors and shits happening inside the school.
"Oh my God, seriously!?" She shrieked. All the people witnessing the scene unfolding before their eyes are holding back their laughters. She then gave everyone a sharp glare but it won't stop Taehyung from laughing his a*s out.
"She's Celine Garthwait the hierarchy queen before you." Maria introduced the blonde woman to me whose raven eyes could kill me any seconds now.
"Do you peg me as someone who reads shits online, Maria?" I asked in a bored manner. I'm not being a proud b***h here but I just don't care. Would it benefit me if I read those social hierarchy updates? No. It would only consume my time and all and I'm such a lazy a*s. I'd prefer sleeping than reading those online updates.
"Oh I forgot you're such a caveman," Taehyung teased and I gave him a side eye.
"Oh well. Thank you. I'd really enjoy my position because it will last. Toodles!" I smiled and walked past her and scrunched my face. I don't need this hierarchy status at all. What I need is to have my grades maintained until graduation.
For the first time, I wanted to do something good for myself.
I mentally noted to myself that I've accomplished my fifth bargain and I can feel the changes it brings to me. I hope this will do good to me because it's my last hope in this life.
After a long day in school, I'm alone again in my unit. The cold breeze from the ac and the darkness embraced me as I cuddle in my bed, fiddling with my phone and hesitating to call Mom. Maria was so sure that they would be glad with the result but I don't know. Should I call? All my life I'm used to sharp words and rejection and after all those years of being accustomed to it, I became numb and couldn't care anymore but why do I feel nervous right now? Why do I feel scared all of a sudden? I am Finn Gray! I was never likeable in my parents eyes. I should be just fine right now! What happened to me?
With all of my courage, I dialed my Mom's number. After three rings she answered the call.
"Hey Mom—"
"Hey Finn. I'm kind of busy right now can you just call me tomorrow? I have a party to attend to and I'm running late. See you soon. Bye!" The line died instantly after Mom dropped the call. I never had the chance to speak or explain myself. With a bitter smile, I dialed Dad's number next and like Mom, he answered it quickly.
"You don't call unless you need a parent to bail you out from school so are you transferring out again? I'm busy at the moment so tell me what you need." Dad said in a stern manner to the point that I forgot to breathe.
"Finn? Are you still there? Look I have lots of work to do—"
"I'm the top student for this grading." I said fast but enough to understand what I'm saying. I pinch my thigh in nervousness while waiting for my Dad to answer.
"Oh that's it? I'm dropping the call I have a meeting via skype and I can't lose this deal. Call me only if it's emergency, understood? Bye."
My phone dropped as I stare at my reflection on the window. I should've not expected much from my parents.
I gave my best but I guess my best wasn't good enough.
Taehyung said that perfecting the exam is a miracle but it's not. The only miracle that I hope to happen is to have my parents care for me because they want to not because they're obligated to do so. To see me and accept me as I am.
They want me to study hard? I'd do so but not because of them but I'll do it for me. I'm not some kind of investment that they can use later on.
They wanted me to be a better person? Fine. I'll be a better person for myself alone and not to be a trophy that my mother wanted me to be.
I'm not a puppet nor a lapdog. I'm their child and I hope they realize this thing because I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
Miracle. That's what I wanted.
But then again, it's like a wish written in water.
Tonight, my scarred heart opened up once again wanting some miracles to happen.
To ease the pain.
To forget the pain.
To be free from the pain.
Because all this time all I do is to accept the pain and to go through it everyday.
I have never experienced living when all I can feel is pain.
Tonight, with the coldness of the air and the stillness of the dark, starless night, I died once again.
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end of chapter seven
- Writer
