47Wollongong 2002
James and Jenny returned to Wollongong Hospital in an ambulance. James still felt weak and dozed for much of the journey. As she held James’s hand, Jenny wondered about the future. What an awful Christmas they would have. How would she cope without James? What was he thinking? What can I do to help him? He should not have to go on this fearful journey alone. She felt useless. She could not share any of his experiences. The disease was driving a wedge between them so that all James’s feelings and thoughts were hidden from her and she was left living a separate, pathetic, token life. She was like a fly buzzing pointlessly against a window pane – destined to batter herself to death trying to reach the other side. To be with her husband again.
While Jenny sat next to him in
