In Her Head - Collision Course

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Elle woke at 4.30pm, they had been asleep for a while, Elle wasn't sure how long. Peter had his arm resting over Elles stomach, she felt safe. She wasn't out of control now and whatever it was seemed to be wearing off, What Stephanie and Nancy told her made sense but to believe there is somebody out there, the other half of you, it seemed far fetched. Elle had never had this though and it was really confusing to her, she wouldn't have dreamed that she could be that sexually active, there was a point in her life where she thought she had a high s*x drive but having then realised she was being made to feel like that left her so confused. It had been so long since Elle was aroused, it came as a shock to her, Elle was attracted to Peter but aroused was something else. 

You f****d off and left your children to go get laid, how would you explain that? I left them with Nancy who I trust with my life! Yeah, what about making sure you don't lose time with them? You lied to them Elle! She argued internally, it seemed to be a losing battle. There is no excuse Elle, let's face it, you are a terrible Mother!

Elle felt awful, she was struggling with it all, the tears came then along with the guilt. She needed to get up and shower, she wanted to get back to the children. She had to dry her tears and get Peter up so she could get dressed and head back but stopping the tears was proving difficult, Peter pulled her close and it made her worse, Elle felt Peter kiss the back of her head, "Sweet, what is wrong?" He asked her. Elle shook her head, she couldn't talk. Peter sat up pulling Elle with him, he had no idea what was going on, Peter felt happy and sated after their haze but Elle was struggling and he wasn't sure why. A thought popped into his head and he almost face palmed. "Sweet, the kids are fine, we can call them now if you like. We can make it back to Mums soon, please Sweet, don't cry," Peter said softly and Elle calmed slightly.

This isn't fair to him, why would I think it would be okay to start something? I've screwed this up so badly, what the hell is work going to be like? Elle thought

Peter went to get some water for them both, Elle looked around the reception room, this definitely made Elle think of Franks office, there were two leather green sofas, bookshelves lined the right wall in white high gloss. There was a coffee table in front of her in glass and chrome, another one was in front of the other sofa along the left wall and the piano, Elle blushed, what they had done on that piano was intense and orgasmic, Elle couldn't ignore the fluttering, it seemed to be all over but the guilt of what she had done weighed heavy. Peter came back with a glass of water each for them, he handed Elle hers and sat beside her, pulling her close.It felt right for his arm to be around her. "Elle, we didn't do anything wrong, we were caught up in lust and it was intense," he told her soothingly, Elle nodded but she was struggling still. She had to say something to Peter, but what could she say? 

"Peter, I don't know what to say, it is so out of character for me and I am struggling. It was great but I have two children and my priorities were twisted, that's on me. I cannot deny what is happening but this is all too fast, I jumped in, I wanted this today, there is no denying that but my priorities should have been my children." Elle explained. Peter kissed her forehead and sighed, he looked into her eyes, "Sweet, I care for you and we are a couple, we are not just dating, I am all in but you have to have some room for yourself, if this is making you feel guilty then we need to work on that because the kids are absolutely fine, they are still playing, Stephanie messaged," He told her. "The only one beating you up is you and you have to know that you are a person as well as a Mother, you do an amazing job with Emily and Michael, they are not without love and they are happy," he added. Elle nodded, Peter was right but getting it through her skull was another thing. Elle cuddled into Peter and they sat like that for a couple of minutes in complete comfortable silence. "Right, let's shower," Peter said, taking Elles glass and placing it on the table. He scooped her up and carried her to the shower room upstairs, it was the exact same style as his bedroom one at his Mothers but this one was huge and had two sinks. The shower was larger than that one too but the same style, Elle loved the decor.

"Sweet, how do you feel about Kayaks?" Peter asked her, Elle smiled and tilted her head questioningly, Peter smiled brightly, "we can head back to Mums by Kayak if you want to," he told her. Elle kissed him on his cheek, "I haven't done it in many years but I would love to," she told him. They exited Peters back door and it was safe to say his wasn't a garden either, the woods were closer to Peters property, they bordered the left side of his property, the river also seemed closer to Peters and there was a little dock with a boat shed next to it. The woods lined the river and Elle loved it, it made her feel calm. Peter went to get the two person Kayak from his boat shed but refused Elles help to carry it so Elle walked a little closer to the woods, she loved being this close to nature it really helped her. Elle also thought that she heard something so she went to check it out, Elle saw that dog she almost ran over, it was crouched on the floor just looking at her, "come out if you want to, I won't hurt you," Elle loved all animals, especially dogs. The dog made it's way over to her, and crouched down close to her feet, it was beautiful. "Stand up you, I'm not going to hurt you," she said softly, the dog stood up and Elle realised this one definitely was trained but it was scared, Elle put her hand out for the dog to sniff so that it would come to her, it did and it's tongue lolled at the side of it's open mouth. Elle stroked it and it rolled on to it's back, she did the only thing she could think of, belly rub, Elle noticed it was a b***h. The dog was happy, it's tail was swishing side to side. "Sweet, what are you doing?" Peter asked her, "this is the dog that I almost ran over earlier, is it yours?" she said. "No, he answered instantly, even the dog seemed to snort as if it was the most absurd thing, the dog got up and stood in between Elle and Peter. "Erm, I don't think so Missy, that is my other half," Elle told the dog, then she blushed. Peter smiled wide, he didn't miss it. The dog bowed it's head and walked to Elles' side, Elle crouched down to the dog, "you don't have to be scared of us, we won't harm you. You are beautiful, I think I will call you Xena, you are protective, just like a warrior," Elle said to the dog, smiling. The dog wagged her tail excitedly and licked Elles face. "Peter this is Xena," Elle said grinning, she beckoned him over with her hand to meet Xena. Xena sniffed the floor and walked to meet Peter halfway, she rolled on her back to show him her belly, "aw look, she wants belly rubs," Elle cooed, Peter obliged. "It is very nice to meet you Xena, will you be sticking around?" Peter asked, Elle thought it was odd but Xena jumped up to lick his face and danced around them, one paw to another and her tail was wagging wildly.

Looks like Peter has a dog, Elle thought smiling to herself.

"How would your Mum feel if we rock up with Xena? Elle asked Peter, smiling, Peter laughed nervously, "I think she will be fine," he replied. They made their way to the kayak and Peter let Elle help him put it in the water, they got their life vests on, Peter wasn't having any of the fact that Elle was a strong swimmer and she rolled her eyes but went along with it. Once they were ready Xena was whining, Elle looked at her and tilted her head to the kayak, she was asking Xena if she was going with them. Xena wagged her tail and barked, Elle and Peter looked at each other, they heard yelps, little ones like pups. From the woods, two pups almost flew out and ran straight to Peter, they must've been about four months old and they sat still at Xena's warning growl. Elle laughed and Peter facepalmed. "Come on then," Elle called to them. Peter took the back of their kayak and Elle sat in the middle, there was plenty of room for Xena and her two pups, Xena sat in front of Elle, like she was on guard and the two pups were in between Elle and Peter with their paws hanging over the sides. Peter groaned and Elle laughed, "I know," Elle said and Peter looked at her in shock, "the day, it goes from stranger to stranger," Elle said, Peters jaw fell, he wondered how Elle knew what he was thinking. They started moving and Elle felt free, her head was silent for once, the breeze was hitting Elle and she loved it. they made their way down river, Xena and the pups were calm, they sniffed the air and then their tongues would lol out of the side of their mouth.

They must love this too, Elle thought.

They were on the water for around 10 minutes, it was still bright and the children all seemed to be in the pool playing from what Elle could see when they got close, she felt the pang of guilt but it wasn't as strong as it was earlier. Peter tied the kayak to the little dock and they made their way out of the kayak, Peter got out first and helped Elle, then he took the pups out, Xena jumped out on her own, her grey fur was so soft and Elle noticed the pattern on her front paw, it looked almost like a crown, the pups were her spitting image but the boy one was a little darker, they also had the paw crown going on. Elle smiled and Peter kissed her, it was a soft kiss on the lips and Elle leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. "Sweet, please don't regret today, it was amazing," he told her. "I know Peter, I feel the same but I need to go and see the kids," she told him and he hugged her tighter, kissed her head and released her. They walked back toward the barbeque party, it was almost 5.30pm, Elle got to the pool area, Nancy smiled at her and pointed to the kids, they looked like they were having such fun and the grins on their faces made her heart melt. "Mummy!" Michael shouted, "you was fast, you must be super sonic just like me," he said proudly floating on his back in the water. Emily was at the side of the pool, "Mummy, why did you come back so quick?" Emily asked, Elle was confused, she had no idea  what was going on, it was hours she had been gone. "How long do you think I have been gone for?" Elle asked her Daughter, "about an hour," Emily replied and Michael put his thumb up to agree. "Well it was a little over that, I take it you have been having fun," Elle said smiling. 

How in God's name did I get away with that? The kids didn't think it was very long at all so I know they were having fun but still. Elle thought to herself still in shock

Elle looked to Nancy as if to ask what just happened, Nancy smiled and walked over to Elle, "Nobody beats you up more than you my darling, take that guilty look off of your face because they have had so much fun and there is plenty of time to play with them still," Nancy said. Elle relaxed a bit and smiled at Nancy, "I love you Nancy," Elle told her and Nancy felt it. "I love you too my darling, now go mingle and enjoy. The kids will be here for another while yet and they will find you when they are ready, food is near the door of the house," Nancy told her. Elle wandered off and met Toyah, she talked with her for 10 or 15 minutes, then she met Sebastien and his wife, his wife was lovely, she was the complete opposite of Sebastien, Peter walked over and put his arm around Elles shoulders, Xena came to sit in front of her but the pups were nowhere to be seen. Elle wanted to leave and it seemed Peter picked up on it, he made their excuses and they moved over towards Billy and Stephanie. They were on a bench, they seemed to be staring towards the Pool, smiling. Stephanie was sitting on Billys lap and she had her head resting on his shoulder, Stephanie's hand was on her tummy and Billy's hand was covering hers. Elle gasped and her hand flew to her mouth, Stephanie and Billy shot their heads up to look at her, Peter looked at Elle puzzled, Elle pointed to Billy and Stephanie and they blushed. Xena, trotted over to them, her tongue was lolling and her tail was wagging, Xena licked their hands then she looked to Elle as if to confirm. "You are one smart girl Xena," Elle said to her smiling. Stephanie got up and Elle walked over to hug her, "are you happy?" She asked Stephanie, Stephanie nodded, they broke the hug and they were all smiling, apart from Peter, he looked like he had no idea what was going on. Billy made a bump shape on his tummy using his hand and then Peter almost jumped for joy. He bro hugged Billy patting him on the back congratulating him. They talked for a while before they heard, "Mummy, Peter, wanna play guarding the castle?" Emily asked them, Elle nodded. Xena ran over to them wagging her tail, "It's the wolf!" Michael shouted excitedly. Elle laughed, "she is a dog poppet, her name is Xena," Elle explained. Michael rolled his eyes, Emily and Michael were busy stroking Xena, then they heard the yipping of puppies, the female puppy ran to Michael, she was yapping and jumping on him, he picked her up and she wouldn't stop liking his face. The male puppy ran straight to Emily and did the same thing. Elle was shocked, she always believed things happen for a reason but she truly felt they were meant to meet, Xena walked over to Elle and sat beside her, she nudged Elles hand with her nose and Elle smiled at her, she could see the love in Xena's eyes but Elle didn't understand how she could tell that. "His name is Colt Mummy," Emily told her giggling, "her name is Esme," Michael said, also giggling.

Oh s**t, that is what I get for winding Peter up, looks like we might have some new additions instead of Peter. Elle thought.

"So I take it guarding the castle game is off?" Elle asked them both and they smiled. Peter laughed at their faces, they didn't want to go jumping, they wanted to play with the puppies, "right kids, how about we have a water fight?" He asked them both, their faces lit up, "Do you have water blasters?" Michael asked hopefully. "I do and they are brilliant, Billy, you're up with us," Peter told them all. Emily and Michael put the pups down and followed Peter, the pups followed Emily and Michael. Elle was hungry and her tummy grumbled, Stephanie laughed and Xena started nudging her towards the house. Elle and Stephanie laughed at Xena, she was like an overprotective parent, "Okay, wheesh, I am going," Elle said. Stephanie and Elle made their way to the food table just outside the house. The table held sandwiches, salad, chicken, pasta, a variety of dressings, fruit and a selection of cheeses. Elle got a plate of meat for Xena and a mixture for herself. Elle didn't take too much for herself as she knew dinner would be served soon. Stephanie grabbed a plate for herself. and they went to sit down, Elle put the plate down for Xena and she liked her face before getting stuck in. 

"So, how far along are you?" Elle asked Stephanie, "just over 3 months now but we haven't told anyone," Stephanie told her, Stephanie was beaming and Elle was so happy for her. "I think you will both be great parents," Elle said smiling. Stephanie took a bite of chicken, she was still beaming but looked confused, "Elle, how did you know?" Stephanie asked, Elle thought for a minute she had absolutely no idea, she could see the body language and it clicked. "I don't know, probably your body language, you both had your hands over the little one and were looking at the pool, the kids were there so it just clicked," she explained. They heard screams and Elle paled, "I'm going to choke my kids," Elle said, she was mortified. "Why?" Stephanie laughed, "I warned them not to scream,” Frank and Belinda will be thinking I can't raise my kids right," Elle groaned, Stephanie laughed even more and pointed to the corner of the house, Elle looked up, "Is that Belinda?" Elle asked in disbelief, Stephanie couldn't talk for laughing too much and nodded. Elle could see Belinda running around screaming on the kids team trying to soak Frank, Peter and Billy. Belinda was encouraging the kids to scream as a battle cry, the kids were enjoying it so much, out of nowhere Nancy joined the kids team and the boys were getting thrashed. Elle started laughing too, there were around 8 children, Nancy, Belinda and the pups all ganging up on the 3 men, well boys at this stage with the way they were going. It was one of the greatest sights Elle had ever witnessed and she was humming internally. Elle looked at how much fun the children were having and realised they hadn't even missed her earlier, she was beating herself up for no reason. Elle finished her food then told Stephanie she would be back shortly. Elle ran to the pool area and found Matt guarding the crate of water guns, "Choose your weapon," Elle told him smiling. Matt groaned, "I am going to get soaked," he whined. Xena went with Elle, Elle bent down to her, "go and rest if you want Xena, I will be okay," She told her stroking her fur, Xena licked Elles cheek and then went to find a spot to rest. Elle grabbed her water blaster and stalked up behind the men, they were drenched and looked like they were getting the upper hand, Elle blasted them from behind, shocking them enough for the women and children to get the upper hand one again with them. Matt came up behind Elle, she knew he would so she spun round to soak him before he got the chance to soak her, then she ran around to the women and children. They all cheered when they had another to their team and the men were losing, badly. By the time all the water soakers had ran out, everyone was laughing. Emily and Michael jumped on top of Elle and they all cuddled, even the pups joined in on the action.

Staff came out to set a long table where they all would eat dinner. The weather was still warm and by the time the dinner was served, everyone was dry, Belinda even had the staff do up bowls of food for Xena and the pups. Elle was so happy she could cry, never has she been welcomed without judgment or conditions. This is what Elle had missed throughout her life until the children came along. Michael wanted to sit next to Peter, and Emily wanted to sit next to Elle, Peter and Elle managed to sit next to each other and the children were happy. "You know Peter, next time I will join your team and you won't lose," Michael told him, Peter coughed, "do you know, I think that you were exactly what was missing from our team, you are right," Peter said to him, and Michael puffed out his chest, "They won't win Mummy, " Emily told her full of confidence and Elle smiled, her children were something else and they were amazing. Everyone ate and chatted, work was rarely discussed, everyone was comfortable. Elle smiled, she was looking around and she felt content, it was a rare feeling for Elle, the feeling had evaded her for so long, Elle felt broken at times but here and now, she felt the love. Peter put his hand under the table and rested it on Elles leg, Elle put her hand under the table too and they held hands, they smiled at each other then carried on their conversations. Elle could feel Peter rubbing circles on her hand using his thumb, it felt natural and the evening was drawing to an end. They were all exhausted after the day they had. Elle needed to get the kids to bed soon, they would start to get stressed shortly.

Everyone started to get up and head to the right side of the grounds, Elle realised why after a short walk. There was a fire pit with a seating area and Elle could smell the hot chocolate. For the childrens hot chocolates Elle could smell something familiar but couldn't quite place it, "Sage," Nancy whispered and Elle realised why. The kids would sleep sound tonight so if the adults wanted to enjoy the night then they could. Peter handed Elle a hot chocolate.

Yup, no mistaking the brandy in there, Elle thought chuckling in her head.

Elle sat down with the children Michael was on one side and Elle on the other, they managed to get half of their hot chocolates drunk before they even sat down and now they were slowing down. Everyone was talking in small groups, Nancy joined Elle and the children. They talked about their favourite part of the day, all of them agreed the whole day was the best part but the water fight was the best of them all. Elle and Nancy talked for a short while and Elle realised the children had fallen asleep, all of the children had fallen asleep. Nancy smiled at Elle, "come on, they can stay in my room tonight, you have some fun and enjoy the rest of the evening," Nancy said, Elle was about to object, "Elle I am exhausted and you will no doubt have lots to talk about, I am going to bed anyway, you don't have to stay up until all hours," Nancy added. Elle nodded, yes there were definitely things they needed to discuss. Peter walked over at that point, "need some help?" He asked, Elle nodded, Peter lifted Emily and Elle lifted Michael, the pups and Xena walked over to them. It looked like they weren't leaving their sides, "it's fine, they can stay inside, Mum already said so," Peter assured Elle.

I really need to get my poker face in order, Elle thought.

Elle smiled, and mouthed thank you, Peter kissed her forehead and they carried the kids to the house with Nancy, Xena and the pups. Peter lead them upstairs to the left and Elle blushed, "the bedroom Mum chose is at the end of the hallway, it is two adjoined bedrooms with a lounge and bathroom." Peter told them and Elle calmed down a little. Peter opened the door and Elle followed, they put the children on the beds in the second room, they tucked them in after removing their shoes, then they kissed them goodnight. There were two double beds in the room next to the children and the bathroom was just off of that room, the living area had a large corner sofa and television, a small table and four chairs and there was a door that opened on to a balcony area. "Go on you two, go and have a nightcap around the fire pit," Nancy yawned at them. There was no need to tell Peter twice, he grabbed Elle by the hand, Elle gave Nancy a kiss, "love you," Elle told her and went with Peter. 

They went back to the fire pit and took a hot chocolate, they then sat down together on one of the log benches. Everyone had taken the evening indoors but Peter and Elle wanted a bit of time to talk. "How are you feeling now Sweet," Peter asked her, Elle leant her head on his shoulder and looked into the flames. "I don't feel as guilty but it was really strange for me Peter, you have to know that," Elle responded. She lifted her head and looked in his eyes, "if I had a choice I would have had intimacy like that with you for a while, it has happened but I have to slow it down. I do really like you Peter but I don't know you well enough and that is what I want, to get to you," Elle added trying to explain. "I meant what I said to you before, I normally can control myself and I would never take advantage of you Sweet," Peter said to her. Elle kissed him gently, smiling, they then sat there for a while cuddling in comfortable silence, Elle sighed remembering what she wanted to talk to him about. "Peter earlier, I honestly wasn't thinking straight and I didn't think of anything, I don't take contraception because I haven't needed to, the morning after pill doesn't work for me and I have absolutely no idea what to do, I'm worried," Elle explained. Peter reached for Elles hand without breaking eye contact, his face didn't falter, he raised her hand to his lips where he kissed it. "Elle, I would be lying if I said I have never thought about kids because I have, I am here for you always, I told you I am not in this for the short haul," Peter told her honestly. "How are your dates?" Peter asked, "I don't think I am ovulating but that is no guarantee," Elle answered, "I don't know Peter and I am really sorry it has come to this, I don't know what happened," Elle added. Peter knew Elle had no control and truth was he would love to have gotten her pregnant. "Elle, the same thing happened to me so I get it, whatever happens we go through it together," Peter assured her. He put his arm around her and she cuddled into him and they enjoyed an hour together before he took her upstairs and kissed her goodnight.