Find Your Own North

Chapter 9

The drive home was quiet, the hum of Julian’s expensive car engine providing a stark contrast to the loud, rhythmic thumping of my heart. Julian was still in a great mood, his hand resting casually on the gear shift, occasionally reaching over to pat my hand as if to check I was still there.

"Tonight was perfect, Maya," he said, pulling up to the curb in front of my apartment building. He killed the engine and turned to face me, the yellow glow of the streetlamp catching the sharp lines of his suit. "I think people are starting to realize we’re the new power couple of the faculty."

I managed a tight smile, unfastening my seatbelt. "It was a lovely dinner, Julian. Thank you."

He leaned in, his intent clear, but I instinctively turned my head, letting his lips graze my cheek instead of my mouth. A flicker of confusion crossed his face, but he masked it quickly with a suave nod. "Rest up. I’ll see you Monday."

I stepped out of the car, the cool night air hitting my bare shoulders. I didn't look back as his car pulled away. All I wanted was to unzip this silk armor, scrub off the makeup, and disappear into my blankets.

But as I reached the top of the stairs and turned the corner toward my door, my breath caught in my throat.

There, sitting on the top step with his back against my door, was Liam.

He wasn't wearing a suit. He was in his old, faded denim jacket and a pair of worn-out jeans. His hair was a mess, as if he’d been running his hands through it for hours, and there was a half-eaten bag of those spicy wings from our favorite spot sitting on the floor beside him.

He looked up as the sound of my heels clicked on the concrete. His eyes traveled from my face down to the emerald silk dress, then back up again. The look in his gaze wasn't admiration—it was a raw, aching kind of recognition that made my knees weak.

"You're late," he said, his voice raspy. He didn't stand up. He just watched me.

"Liam? What are you doing here? It’s nearly midnight."

"I tried to stay away," he admitted, looking down at his hands. "I really did. I told myself to let you have your 'work thing.' But then I realized I didn't care about being the bigger person. I just wanted to make sure you were actually having a good time."

I stood a few feet away, the silence of the hallway pressing in on us. "It was... fine. Julian was very nice."

Liam let out a short, bitter laugh. "Nice. That’s the word you use for a boring movie, Maya. Not a life partner." He finally stood up, his height filling the narrow space. He took one step toward me, and I didn't move back. "Did he make you laugh? Did he tell you that the way you crinkle your nose when you’re thinking is the most distracting thing he’s ever seen?"

"Liam, please—"

"No," he whispered, stopping just inches away. I could smell the familiar scent of cedar and rain, and it felt like home. "I’ve been sitting here for three hours thinking about how I’ve let ten years go by without telling you that I’m terrified of someone like him taking you away before I ever had the courage to tell you the truth."

My heart stopped. "What truth?"

Liam reached out, his hand trembling slightly as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "That I've been in love with you since we were seventeen, Maya. And seeing you in that dress, coming home to me from another man... it's killing me.