Bound in Lies

I feel almost strange emotions, strange but for the same reason. I have only been here a few days but why do I miss them right away? It's even more painful to break up even though I haven't had it before. I don't even have any friends here, the internet is too slow to use social media, there's no WiFi, my sim has a load but the internet is as sluggish as a turtle! I miss everything in Manila. Why did this even happen? Why can't Dad accept all this? I wish I never get into this situation. Hindi ko namalayang ang pagpikit ko lang ng mata kagabi ay nauwi na sa tuloy-tuloy na pagtulog, ngayo'y tirik na ang araw! Sa dami ba naman ng bumabagabag sa isip ko eh. Nagdadalawang isip pa akong bumangon. I'm too lazy to get up, why should I get up? But never mind, I'm just going for a walk today, I hear a lot about this place that there are so many interesting places so I will try to visit everything. I got up immediately and got ready, aalis na ako maya-maya! After I took a bath, I prepared what I was going to wear, ano kayang bagay na isuot ko? I don't want to wear a dress because it doesn't look right in this place. I took my black high-waisted pants and white halter top, gusto ko sanang white shoes ang isuot pero baka madumihan ng sobra dahil sa maputik na lugar dito. So I just turned my eyes to black shoes and put them on. Hindi na ako naglagay ng kung ano-anong kolorete sa mukha, dinampian ko lang ng kaunting lip tint ang manipis kong labi bago tuluyang bumaba. "Good morning po Ma'am, mag-umagahan na po kayo," Ate Doreng greeted me as I went down the stairs. "Good morning ate, I will go somewhere, I'll just eat there," I sigh, I have no appetite yet kaya agad akong naglakad palabas sa bahay. "Sige po Ma'am, nagpaalam po ba kayo kay Mr. Ruiz? Utos po kasi samin na 'wag kayong payagan 'pag hindi kayo nagpaalam," she said. I was stunned for a moment before my brain slowly processed what she said. What? Does even my departure depend on it? I immediately texted Dad para magpaalam, I don't want to rot here at home, rather than here I roam the whole house! No choice, tss. [To Dad: Dad I'm bored here, can I go somewhere? Tour?] How long will he reply, maybe busy? I patiently waited for it. And a smile dance to my lips when I hear the sound coming from my phone. [From Dad: okay, don't go far away from your place, also include Peto.] Isasama.. my driver? At all? Agad na napawi ang ngiti sa 'kin, masyado niya akong ginagawang baby! Napabuntong-hininga ako at inis na nag-reply kay Dad. [To Dad: Can't he just bring me?] [From Dad: No. Just don't leave then.] I just scratched my forehead in frustration. Okay fine! Rather than just being here at home. I don't know much about places here, we only went to two places, is it Rizal Shrine and one is a lake because I don't know it well, Kuya Peto also doesn't know it very well so we went home before sunset, maybe next time I'll just take a walk here. "Ma'am kumain na po kayo para makapagpahinga, mukhang napagod po kayo," Ate Doreng said while preparing the utensils on the dining table. "Sige Ate thanks, I'm going to change my clothes first," I replied before going up. When I came down from my room, I saw a lot of food. Three dishes were served on the table, chicken curry, marinated pork, and shanghai. Hindi ko mauubos ang lahat ng 'to, I might just waste them. "Ate, please call your colleagues. Join me here, madami ito at hindi ko mauubos," I did not hesitate to invite them. Ate Nita immediately turned to me, "Nako Ma'am, nakakahiya naman po!" I knew she was ashamed, napakamot siya sa kaniyang ulo. They shouldn't be ashamed because they should not be treated differently. "Please Ate? From now on you will always join me, because I am the only one eating at this huge table," I begged sadly, hindi na tulad ng dati, Mom, Dad and Ate are not here. She did nothing else after I said that but went and called his colleagues here. Narito nanaman ang lungkot na nararamdaman ko. Maya-maya pa'y narinig ko si Kuya Peto kaya agad akong bumaling sa kaniya. "Nako Ma'am nahihiya kaming lahat, hindi kami sanay na sumasabay sa pagkain ng amo namin," he can't look at me directly. "Don't be shy po, tayo-tayo lang naman ang nandito," I smiled at them as they prepared the plates. I don't know but it feels good to see them happy even if I'm not, as long as they are. Isn't this too unfair for me? To always be happy for other people? Ang hirap naman ng ganito. Ang hirap. I have to get used to not having them, without their daily presence. Maybe this situation will help me, I will think or I will just make a way to improve the situation somehow. Isa siguro sa matututunan ko ay maging independent woman. "This way po Ma'am," Kuya guard answered and pointed to the place. "Thanks, Kuya guard!" I glanced at it and continued walking. As I get closer, the music and screams get louder from this place, too shock because this is the first time I can get to this kind of place. I kept wondering if I should continue to go or not. But because I was constantly consumed by curiosity, I continued to enter this place. "Maiwan ko na kayo dito Ma'am," I was no longer able to thank him because he left immediately. Nagpakawala ako ng mabilis na buntong-hininga at iginala ang paningin sa paligid. So this is how this place is. It looks fun! Why didn't I think of going to this place before? Maybe now I'll go to this more often, especially when I meet someone new here. I went to a place where there was the source of various wines, what is it called again? Bartender? Never mind, nandito ako para mag-enjoy. Tinitignan ko ang bawat sulok ng lugar na ito at halos lahat ng makita ko ay nakamamangha maging ang mga taong nakikita ko na parang mga taga-Manila because of their actions, they also know how to party. What they do is too vulgar, couples kissing in this public place? Nagpatuloy na lang ako sa paglakad hanggang sa marating ang kinaroroonan ng mga alak. I took a seat and ordered a drink. I ask the bartender to give me a women's drink because I don't know anything about alcohol. While I was in the middle of drinking I was enticed to dance so I immediately went to the dance floor when the DJ was already playing an uplifting. I danced with different people and most of the people who approached me were men, others invited me to join them but I didn't want to. I don't know them so why would I? When I felt tired I also went back to the place where I had been sitting and ordered something to drink again. Namataan ko na lang ang sarili kong nakatingin sa isang sulok ng lugar na ito. What I was feeling earlier was gradually wrapped up in a feeling I didn't understand how. I rubbed my eyes and opened them again to confirm if it was him. And I was not mistaken, that was him. Paanong nandito siya? Pero hindi eh, hindi maalis ang titig ko sa kanila. Para bang may kung anong tumusok sa puso ko't ganito kakirot. I saw him, with a woman. I just smiled like a fool. They were kissing. And they seem to enjoy what they do as if no one else is around. Is the world playing tricks on me? All this time, everything is a lie? "Hey miss, too serious huh?" I almost jumped in panic when someone grabbed my waist and felt his breath on my neck. Who the f**k is this? I quickly stood up and walked away from the man. "f**k you!" Gigil kong sigaw sa lalaki. What the hell Tygann, you were touched by a man you don't know! Paulit-ulit ko siyang minura sa aking isipan habang papalayo sa kaninang pwesto ko. Malalim at mahahabang buntong-hininga ang patuloy kong pinapakawalan. I can't believe, ganito ba talaga sa lugar na ito? I was walking fast and I didn't know what I was going through. I need to leave this place! But my heart almost stopped beating when I suddenly tripped to the ground which would have caused me to fall to the ground. But after that I didn't feel any pain, I felt I was safe. I slowly opened my eyes, my vision became somewhat blurred but there is only one I am sure of. Someone is supporting me so as not to fall. "Wei?" My eyes widened when I saw him. I realized what we looked like now, his hand resting on my back and his face was almost touching my cheek. I hurriedly stood up properly and expected his answer but it gave me an unexpected answer. He brought me closer to him again, he grabbed my waist quickly and one of his hands was on the side part of my neck. I could feel the warmth of his gaze. His gaze was once on my eyes and now on my lips. I couldn't understand but it was as if I had suddenly lost strength, my knees had weakened. I couldn't even get away because he slowly brought his face closer to mine. He grabbed me with a firm kiss. I could still feel the shock of what he was doing, but instead of stopping him, my body seemed to have a mind of its own and wanted to continue it. His warm but gentle kiss descended towards my neck and after a while, it came back to my lips. He suddenly stopped kissing me and I was left like a child wanting more. "I'm s-sorry, I thought you were Aubrey," he grinned and his face instantly became serious as if nothing had happened. He did not hesitate to leave, and I was left almost out of my mind. What…he thought I was someone else? Aubrey? Is she the woman he kissed? What the hell are you Wei? You are an asshole! I can’t accept everything that happened today. Lahat ng katangahan ko ngayong araw, at paanong napapayag ako na mahalikan niya? Nandiri ako bigla sa sarili ko, nakahalikan ko 'yong taong may ibang kahalikan kanina. F*ck you Wei! I'll tie you up with that Aubrey-ducky!