Loss
" Aya, you should sleep now, it's almost dawn." a middle-aged woman spoke in her gentle raspy voice while she lay sleeping on a wooden bed that made slight squeaky noises with her movement.
"I wish I could, Mother," she said, looking at the flame before her. Books were sprawled on the floor everywhere around her, and she had been sitting in the same place since the previous day.
"Why do you worry so much about it, Aya? I know you can pass the exam even if it is due tomorrow," her mother said with a gentle smile, having more trust in her than herself.
"Mother, I don't want to risk failing, "she said, her eyes moving along the rows of words in the dim light.
"And you won't, "her mother sighed.
"Why not?" she said, flipping the book's page.
"I believe in you, Aya ", her mother informed her.
"Mother," she called. Her eyes finally moved from the book to look at her mother.
"Yes, dear?" her mother responded with a smile. Aya has always been fond of stories. Her curiosity was always piqued when she heard the tales of werewolves and witches. Unlike others her age, she was preparing for the Central Academy's entrance exam, where all the elites sent their children to develop them into noble people. Since the last decade, everyone, be it elite or not, has had the chance to contest the examination. This has been possible only because of the harmonious relationship between the beings of the nation.
Although the prestigious Academy that most could only dream of studying is known to all, there's only a handful that are brave enough to prepare for it, especially those underprivileged people like hers who have not been under any tutor's guidance.
" Do you think sirens and mermaids still exist?" she asked with genuine curiosity.
"Most probably" her mother replied to her question.
" Have you seen one?" she asked again. This time folding her books and notes while keeping them in their designated place.
"Yes" her mother affirmed.
" Mother! How did that 'No' from the last time I asked you become a 'Yes'?" she asked, feigning annoyance. She hopped on the bed to lay beside her mother while the mother turned to face her, bursting into giggles.
"Time changes everything, Aya", her mother said amid chuckles.
Saskia broke out of her daze when she heard the owl hoot in the distant trees. She had been wandering in her memories without noticing the trail of time again. It had been two weeks since she last heard her mother's voice. All those discussions that she used to have with her while watching the moon from the window died down with her.
Along with warmth, and her purpose.
There should have been bubbles of laughter in their little home right now if only she had not lost her mother that day. If only the rogues had not come over to her village that morning, if only...
There were so many ifs. The saddest part was that these events had already occurred, and now she had nothing that she could do that could alter the present.
Although she returned with the news that she had been dying to hear today, she had no one waiting at home for it.
"What am I supposed to do without you, Mama?" her voice broke as she sat on the floor hugging her knees and looking at the missing figure on the bed. Tears kept flowing, yet there was nothing that she could do to relive the death.
It was Sunday morning. Her mother had sent her to the nearest town to run some errands when it started raining. It was raining cats and dogs, and she was left with the only choice of taking shelter under the worn-out tin roof of a shop.
As the sun started setting towards the west, she began running hastily to reach home before the sun could set. And when she had just entered the gate of her village, she was met by chaos. As she walked towards her home, all she could see was a piece of her mother's dress, which was bloodied and torn beyond recognition.
It was only because they were poor and there were not too many dresses that her mother owned, because of which she could recognize that it belonged to her mother. The next moment she felt her body falling to the ground, and she lost all her senses.
The silence was suffocating. There were only two options that could be picked by her.
The first, living the rest of her life in her remote poverty-stricken village.
The second, departing for Hattangard.
Saskia woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. It was early morning, and she was not expecting any visitors. She did not realize that she had fallen asleep on the floor yesterday.
"Coming" she shouted back, while quickly getting up.
"Good morning Saski", a bubbly smile greeted her when she opened the door.
"Good morning, Sister Reilly," she said, her voice neutral.
"Can I come in?" she asked politely, still having a smile.
"Yes," she responded, making way for her.
" Did you eat?" Reilly asked as she sat on the bed.
"No," she answered.
"Why not? You should know well to eat food on time. You are so thin already, Saski. Starving yourself would do nothing good!" her concerns evident in her tone and her eyebrows furrowed.
"I know," she said.
"Then why-?" Reilly continued with her speech but was interrupted before she could finish.
"Because I just woke up, Sister Reilly" she sighed.
"Oh, haha Don't mind me, look, I bought you Apple pies" she spoke grinning, bringing a package towards her that she had not noticed before.
"Thank you, I like eating them," she said, expressing her gratitude.
"I know, Aunt Maya always gave some to us when she used to make them," Reilly said, feeling herself lost in the past.
"Saski," she said.
"Hmm"
"Come here" Reilly called, patting the spot beside her.
"I was with Aunt Maya before that incident happened." she began, looking outside the window.
"And in the next hour, she was attacked by the rogues," she said in a broken whisper as tears shone in her eyes.
"I should have gone with her to the river," she said, regret reflecting in her tone.
"So that I could lose you as well?" she spoke, her voice low but hurtful.
"No silly"
Reilly hugged her into a tight embrace and the poor girl felt the warmth. It was not the first time. The population of the village was only about a hundred people, if not less, and most of them whom she knew were kind to her family. What hurt her was accepting the food of others when she knew they equally struggled like her, yet they selflessly cared for her like their own daughter.
Initially, when she was asked if she had eaten anything, she would lie by saying yes, while, in truth, she had long finished her few rations.
And indeed, when people care, they can detect your lies, and it was not long before Sister Reilly started coming to her door with food making an excuse that her mom 'accidentally' made some extra so that she did not feel guilty.
"When are you departing for Hattangard?" Reilly asked, patting her back.
"Tomorrow".