Past Sins

“David?!” I screamed, frantically searching for my brother. “David?! Where are you?!” I can’t see him or smell him, whatever they injected me with is dulling my senses. Fear and absolution consume me as I realize I’ll never find David until this toxin leaves my system. I sink down resting my back on a tree and pull my knees up against my chest. It’s only a matter of time before they find me. I have no idea what I'm going to do when they do. Since I can’t shift into my wolf I didn’t get very far before needing to rest. “David, I’m so sorry! You and dad were right. I shouldn’t have left. So many wolves have been slaughtered trying to find me… and I can’t find you… I-I’m so sorry! I screwed up!” I confess attempting to hold back sobs. I sat there for hours until I heard movement in the wooded area behind me. The crunching of the leaves is getting louder and louder. Whoever was coming is getting closer and I'm running out of time. Think Valerie! What would Dad, Kol, or David do in this situation? I will myself to get up knowing this may be it, my last chance to fight. I spun around to face my attacker and came face to face with a red eyed wolf with black fur.  I wake up from my dream shooting straight up and completely covered in sweat. It’s the third time in the past two weeks that I've had this dream. My long black hair was sticking to me as if I'd jumped in the river in my sleep. I glanced at the clock to see 5 am glaring back at me in its menacing red color, “Great! Today is gonna be such a long day.” I groaned. Ripping the covers off I got up to shower but decided to go for an early morning run first. I refilled through my drawers for workout gear to put on and took off. I stopped outside the front door and took a minute to take a deep breath of the early morning air. Trying to steady my still rapidly beating heart. A run is just what I need on a morning like this. Early in the morning, hardly anyone is up yet so it’s just me, the birds and bees, and my thoughts. Something’s telling me to stay close to home today but I pushed it aside thinking it’s probably just my dad’s crazy rules eating away at my mind. I walked first and worked up to a jog then a full on run. It wasn’t the plan to run the entirety of our territory but I couldn’t help myself. The border of our land is off limits unless I have a warrior with me but there is a little waterfall close to the border that is calling my name. It brings back memories of when mom and dad used to bring us here for picnics and he would tell us stories. I was too young to really remember them but Kol and David would tell me all about them and show me pictures. Dad’s favorite story was the one about how our ancestors split up the pack territories and the settling of our ancestors on this land. The story always started out the same, “Long ago there were six wolf leaders that roamed this part of the Appalachian mountains. Getting their power from the moon goddess, Celeste, they protected all of the lands from our corner of the forest to the Kumori land on the other side of the mountain. Out of all the alphas there was one named King Alpha who would be the final say so in all decisions made to protect the land. His name was Alpha Lorenzo and the goddess herself appointed him. Unfortunately, not all of the alphas agreed with her decision and refused to concede any power to him. Feeling as though it wasn’ fair that he be appointed without the rest of them getting a fair chance at being King Alpha. They began to fight amongst each other ultimately tearing their lands and the pack apart. So with the help of Celeste, Lorenzo came up with a plan to save the land and spare the remaining wolves. He decided to separate the lands and give a piece to each of the wolf alphas to control and protect as they see fit. Giving them their power back he hoped would bring them all back together. At their final pack meeting they each agreed to depart to their respective territories immediately and sign the wolf laws that we use today into effect. Alpha Aldric, our ancestor, set out for our land on the east side of the mountains. He set up shop right here, claiming this land to be the most beautiful and the most prosperous. He knew our pack would survive for generations to come. It took him years but he and the wolves that swore allegiance to him built this land into what it is today.  With evergreen trees as far as the eye can see, a beautiful lake, and a waterfall I'd agree with Alpha Aldric that our land was the most beautiful.  I sat on a log by the lake and watched as the moon disappeared under the horizon and the sun emerged. The gorgeous reds, oranges, and yellows reflecting so perfectly off of the lake always takes my mind away to a peaceful place. I took a second to take it all in closing my eyes and just clearing my mind. It didn’t last long though, “Val? Dad is looking for you. Better head back to the house before he has our best trackers and warriors out looking for you.” David burst through my zen moment with his mindlink warning. I sighed and took one last glance at the sunrise before getting up to head back to the pack house. I took off running full speed back home because even though it came as a warning our father would actually send out the trackers and warriors if I didn’t get back soon. As I got closer to the house I could sense the fear and annoyance coming from my father, he’s been like this since our mother died. When I was five my mother, Luna Eva, was attacked by rogues during an ambush, they injected her with some form of toxin. The pack doctor did everything he could but her condition only worsened. None of our medicines seemed to work to cure whatever they did to her but the doctor could make her last moments comfortable, so that’s what he did. She eventually passed in her sleep hours after the attack since then our father has taken it a bit far with the safety of my brothers and me. That day forever changed him, losing our mother was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. We could hear his scream and cries from the other side of the pack house and the entire pack could feel the loss of their luna. We may have lost the matriarch of our family but the pack lost it’s luna as well, we all grieved her together. She had a true Silver Fang funeral. She was dressed in white, the color of her wolf, and placed on top of a pyre. My father wouldn’t leave until the last flame had gone out and even then it took his beta and gamma to pull him away. After months of grieving her loss my father pulled us all into his office and made his declaration that Kol, David, and I were never allowed near the edge of the territory without a warrior. Dad even had them follow us to school, since we had to go somewhat outside of pack land to attend classes.  I slowed down to a jog once as I got closer to the front door and could smell the sweet scent of chocolate chip waffles and bacon coming from the kitchen. Mrs. Robinson was always up at the crack of dawn to make breakfast for the entire pack house and today she just happened to be making my favorite. I barely made it into the house before I heard it, “Valerie, the purnima festival is an important celebration and it’s not only the festival but the former lunas birthday AND an alpha meeting. The autumn moon pack has been gracious enough to host this year even with their Luna's birthday landing on the same day. I won’t have us disrespect them by being late. You have one hour to get ready and meet us at the car.” My fathers voice rang through my head. Great! So much for my hope of him being too distracted to lecture me. I reached for a muffin as Mrs. Robinson came out of the kitchen. “Good morning my little dew drop.” She’s been calling me that since I was born and I never questioned it even though I didn’t understand where it came from. “Morning! I’m just gonna grab a bite really quick.” I reached for a plate but Mrs. Robinson swatted my hand away with a wooden spoon. “Ah-Ah! Your father already told me that you are late getting ready and he doesn’t want you getting distracted.” She looked around and listened for anyone who may be coming then said, “So I suggest you eat this quickly before you shower and head out, dew drop.” Mrs. Robinson was a godsend! She produced a small plate wrapped in aluminum foil and I could tell she put aside a waffle and a couple strips of bacon for me. I took the plate and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing down the hall to the steps. I stopped at the steps, “Thank you!” I yelled, trying to remember my manners.and then took the steps two at a time.  I know I'll be hearing more about this later. If there was an olympic gold medal for lectures my dad would win the gold every time. The best part about it was they seemed to get more intense as we got older. My dad's voice rang in my head and I remembered on my quest for breakfast I never answered him, “Valerie you heard me right?” I pushed back my annoyance before I responded, “Yes daddy! I’ll be right down.” Rushing upstairs I went directly to my room and sat down on the edge of my bed to scarf down my breakfast. I threw the paper plate in the trash and glanced at the clock- 45 minutes to go. I threw my clothes off and hopped in the shower not bothering to let the water get hot first. Nothing like an ice bath first thing in the morning. Once I finally finished I quickly chose an outfit for tonight, deciding to do my makeup and hair on the jet so I don’t take any more time than I have to. I put on my dress and smoothed out any wrinkles I could with my hands on my way down the stairs just in time to make it outside by dads hour mark. I got to the car with three minutes to spare. Looking at my reflection in the SUV window brought on memories of mom. My mother used to say that clothes were a big part in making a good impression. It showed your style, personality, and confidence so like with all other important events, when choosing an outfit I channeled my mother. My choice was a floor length black and gold dress with a slit up one side, black heels, and my mothers gold infinity necklace. Jewelry was never really my thing but wearing my mother’s necklace was the one exception. Dad gave it to me on my 16th birthday saying that my mother would have wanted me to have it. I know it was hard for him to part with it.. With anything that belonged to mom after she died. Wearing it was not only to honor my mother and her memory but to honor my fathers sacrifice. I know it brightens his day to see the necklace being worn and not collecting dust. The dress, though, that my dad may have some not so kind words about. Being his only daughter I was used to it. I typically wouldn’t wear a dress with such a high slit that goes mid thigh but my best friend, Blake, insisted that it made me look like a runway model. Blake and I have been tight since pre-k and even dated through middle school and most of high school. The day we met my parents were dropping me off on my first day and Blakes were doing the same. My dad bent down to give me a kiss and told me to have a good day. When I turned around to walk into class I bumped head first into Blake. We both fell to the ground crying and had goose eggs on our foreheads for the rest of the day. Oddly enough that moment bonded us and we played and sat together for the rest of the day. A picture of us, goose eggs and all, still hangs on the walls of both of our homes- our parents took it after they picked us up. It wasn’t until middle school and jumping that puberty, members of the opposite s*x have cooties, hurdle that we truly started to notice each other in a more than friendship way. I still remember the day he asked me out on a date. He waited for me at my locker at school after our last period like he did everyday, since we rode home together. He seemed exceptionally nervous that day though and I just assumed it was because midterms were coming up and to say he was failing Origins of Werewolf history was a complete understatement. If it were allowed they’d have to come up with a new letter for how bad he was failing. I reached my locker and started putting in my code. That’s when he suffered from the worst case of word vomit I've ever seen. He practically screamed, “Will you go to the movies with me?” A couple of people down the hall started snickering at his outburst and I couldn’t help but laugh with them. It wasn’t until I looked at his face that I saw that he didn’t mean it as a “friend” date- it was a date date. I said yes, we went to the movies that Friday night, and the rest is pretty much history. We started officially dating 2 weeks later and spent more time together than we already did. The fact that we know each other so well made our relationship run rather smoothly. When the talk about breaking up came around it was a shock for both of us but in the end we knew even that couldn’t ruin our friendship. We decided over the summer before Senior year to go back to being just friends since we would be finding our mates soon, hopefully, and we didn’t want it to be harder than it already would be. There’s nothing like finding your mate on your 18th birthday, if you’re lucky, and having to go through the awkward Now we got to break up talk. Blake turned 18 a few days later but didn’t find his mate so lucky for me I didn’t have to share him yet. Which was great because I would really need him to get through this trip, something felt off and I couldn’t put my finger on it.   After a few minutes my father, David, Laura, Blake, Enzo, and 5 of our warriors came out fully dressed and ready to go. I guess my niece and nephew wouldn’t be attending this event- which brought my heart some joy considering the gross feeling I had about all of this. My dad stopped and took in the outfit I decided to wear, clearly trying to formulate a thought. A crease formed between his eyebrows and then to my surprise he smiled and nodded. I got the daddy seal of approval which has been hard to obtain nowadays. My mouth hung open as he, David, Laura, and Blake all walked towards me to get in their assigned vehicle. Before passing Laura, my sister in law and David's wife, put her hand on my chin and shut my mouth for me. “You look like a million bucks babe. Own it!” I chuckled and followed her to the middle SUV where David waited with the door open for us to climb in. The warriors accompanying us took the first and last suvs. This seems like an excessive amount of security for a ten minute car ride to the air strip. Why do we need three of our 2022 Audi Q7’s with blacked out windows for such a short ride? Oh well! I’ve grown to learn not to question my father or brothers security measures. I was just happy to be getting off pack lands for the first time in a little over a year. Last time was my birthday trip to the human town for a day of shopping and a dinner at the most incredible restaurant. I was shocked that daddy was the one who came up with the idea, I only found out after that he got the idea from my mother.  He said, “My only daughter turns 17 once and your mother always made the most of your birthdays so I want to make the most of this one. I know your mother would have loved to take you so I’m happy to do so in her honor!.” The sweet memory of us shopping and then ending the day with an amazing dinner and ice cream brought a smile to my face. Dad didn’t smile very often after everything happened but you couldn’t wipe the smile off his face that day no matter how hard you tried.  Once we arrived at the air strip we boarded the jet while the warriors did a safety check. A woman with long blond hair and blue eyes greeted us when we boarded and took our seats. “Alpha, my name is Corinne and I'll be taking care of you and your family for the duration of this flight. If anyone needs anything please do not hesitate to ask. Now if everyone could fasten their seat belts, the captain is prepared for takeoff.” I'm not the best flier and I needed something for the nausea that was already forming so I attempted to flag down Corinne. I stopped when I noticed that she was in a deep discussion with my brother and father. The feeling that something was being kept from me hit like a hurricane. We reached cruising altitude and the captain turned off the fasten seat belt sign. The warriors were stationed at different points in the cabin and none of them made a move to get up. Whereas my sister in law unfastened her seat belt and went right over to my brother. She sat on his lap and peppered his face with kisses making them both laugh. I couldn’t wait to have that- the pure love between them was something that I always dreamed of and dreaded I'd never find. Taking my distraction as his golden opportunity Blake came and plopped down beside me and pulled me into his side taking my mind off of things. As much as I wanted to know what was discussed between my family and corinne- I knew asking would get me nowhere. So I went to the back of the plane and worried about something I could do something about, my hair. I don’t know how long I spent in the back of the plane but I finally tamed my long hair into submission. Satisfied with the loose curls and smokey eye makeup I decided to go with, I went back to my seat and snuggled back into Blakes side. We would be at the Autumn Moon air strip soon and I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that that would bring on it’s own set of mysteries.