The Desires Of Her

~MAVIE~♧ The scattered hues of crimson fire, once upon a dear of Manhattan, the sunset glamor was now painted a dull shade of gray. Rain showers slapped the glass doors softly. The air was thick with humidity yet everything in my body felt so damn hot. Everything about that room was hot. "Hmm!" A soft gasp escaped my lips before he swallowed it all whole. Encapsulating me with his endearing presence. Burying me deeper into a web of my own demise. Butterflies exploded and scattered, dancing on my skin to an invisible lulubuy, his fingers traced every edge, every curve like a perfectionist craftsman. My body revolted in tandom, a puppet to the strings he pulled. He trailed wet kisses up the side of my arm, and my toes curled in a surge I couldn't explain. I giggled but the breath was knocked out of my lungs when his electric storm gray eyes that looked like a piece cut off the sky sought their new prey on mine. They held me at a point I couldn't handle. I could never get used to the intensity of these eyes. I stared. He stared. Neither could tear away. Like an invisible challenge, or maybe a fear that if one blinked, the other would be absorbed into abyss. A stark contrast to the tornado swelling in my chest. I was worried he'd hear of the loud thudding in my chest. It was like that single moment of gazing between two unknowns was the defining point of our whole lives. My mouth opened to say something but the crippling waltz flash of lightning that rippled across the room, just mere seconds before the inevitable followed, perched the words from my mouth. My head sank deep into his chest and my arms clung to him for dear life as the ugly rumbling of thunder followed suit, setting my panic attack in motion. I never liked lightning and thunder. "Shhhh! There we go, girl, " his collosed finger made gentlestrokes through my hair, his warmth offered a comfort that knew no bounds while his other hand drew gentle circles just below my belly button. His whole presence was endearing, to say the least. He cast away all my demons at ease. "Good girl... Keep on breathing, love. Yeah." His voice sounded distant but yet so powerful. So commanding. So comforting. "That's it, keep-" "Mav!" The sultry voice of my undoing was suddenly replaced by one of my nightmares. My breath hitched as the first thing invading my vision when I opened my eyes was the face of my boyfriend directly above mine. Fuck! It happened again. Guilt clawed its way to my chest like a poison as I sat up straight. My shaky fingers made to pull my hair back, only maybe to hide their tremble. To hide my guilt from Luc again. I shut my eyes for a second, willing my head to slow down its marathon and calm the hell down. Pushing his shiny brunette hair back, Luc sat up besides me. "Were you have a s*x dream, babe?" His light voice carried a sense of a tease rather than the suspicion i feared. But i winced still. It's embarrassing to have a s*x dream, much less for your boyfriend to hear it. Feigning oblivion felt like the way to go so that's the route I chose. "What? No! Eew." He smirked. "Hhmm," his voice was suggestive, completely not buying my sorry ass excuse. His arms wrapped around my waist in the next moment and he pulled me onto his lap. "Luc," my protest came out as a whisper. He smothered my neck with kisses before bringing them to my lips. "Let me bring your dreams to life, babe," his promise was a whisper on my lips that I chose not to fight. But the whole time Luc brought my dreams to life, the sinking feeling of guilt still lingered in my chest like a scar I can never get rid of. It was a scar I could never get rid of. Three whole years of having this same dream, fragments, pieces of a picture that's yet to be completed. Me and a man whose face I cannot even remember. A man whom I cannot even remember. All I can remember was how incredible his hands felt on me and how I sinfully fantasize about this man sometimes even when I'm with my boyfriend. How I dream about him, now,every night. In a nutshell, I'm f****d.