Angel On Fire

Chapter Seven

Song for this chapter: Devil in me - Halsey

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My body began to tingle ever so slightly as I swung on the swing, waiting for Luke. I wasn't

sure why I had started tingling, but I chose to ignore it.

Slowly, it started getting stronger. I took a deep breath in and put my hand on my chest. I was feeling nervous.

Wait.

I was feeling nervous.

I got up off the swing and I turned around. There he was. He was walking towards the swing and as soon as he noticed me, he smiled. I couldn't believe how I reacted to these feelings. It was weird that I felt so familiar with them as if I had felt them my entire life.

At least they didn't scare me.

"Hey." He got closer to me. The feelings were growing stronger. I was feeling like how a human being should feel in situations like this. I was feeling nervous that I was meeting up with a cute guy for the first time when I never hung out with guys really and I was feeling giddy, because he was so good looking and he didn't turn me down.

What felt good, was that I could feel. It felt amazingly good and I didn't know if I wanted to thank God or ask him why the f**k I could only feel when this man was around me. Why couldn't I just feel when I was by myself and why was it all so connected to him?

What I really liked and wanted to hold onto was that my surroundings were brighter and I felt like I belonged here. It felt different to me. Like a new Earth. The grass looked greener and the sky shone bright. It was quite similar to the light that I had seen when I first encountered Luke. The flowers were in full bloom, and it all just felt real. It was something beyond me, but it felt like a home I wished I had when I was younger. It felt like I always wanted Earth to feel.

God, I was in awe. It was amazing.

"Hey." I smiled at him and he smiled right back. He was such a beautiful man. I loved the blue of his eyes, and how it glowed under the sun. The truth was that he was the most beautiful man that I had ever seen. His beauty was almost otherworldly. I'd never seen a man quite like him before, but perhaps that was because I'd never been attracted to any other human being before.

"Let's walk." I said and he nodded his head as we began to walk along the pathway.

"I'm surprised you met me here and trusted that I wasn't some crazy psychopath." I said and he laughed. I liked his laugh. It was melodic. I wasn't a person that was anti-feelings at all. I had always wanted to have a crush and I had always wanted to find myself thinking about a man in more ways than one. It didn't scare me. In fact, it excited me because it was so new. It made me feel like a person and I liked that. Even if I hardly knew this man. There was something about him that my mind, body and soul reacted heavily to, and because of that I would get to know him.

"Vice versa. What if I kidn*pped you?" He smirked, and that feeling that I felt in the bar erupted in my core again. What was that? I had to ask Eloise after he left. I was sure she would know. She seemed to know everything that there was about feelings.

"Good question. This is a dangerous encounter." I said and he laughed. I liked that I wasn't shy and that this wasn't an uncomfortable walk.

"Perhaps. Was there any reason why you wanted to go out with me?" I suddenly realized that this was a date. I was actually on a date. And I had asked him out. Me without feelings seemed to have a lot more confidence than I thought.

"I mean, you're really cute." I said and immediately felt embarrassed. Those were the types of feelings I didn't like, but at least I was feeling them. I obviously couldn't tell him the real reason as to why I asked him out. That wouldn't be appropriate. He wouldn't understand.

"Cute? Really?" He looked somewhat offended. Did I say something wrong?

"Is cute not a compliment?" I asked and he shook his head. I was confused. I was always taught that that was a compliment.

"No. You call babies cute, I'm a man." Suddenly, I realized that he was joking and I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't help but laugh. I playfully shoved him and he laughed. I hadn't realized how nice it would actually turn around to spend time with him. His energy felt so refreshing. It was better than I had imagined.

"Okay, fine. You were really attractive." I said and he smirked as he nodded his head. I seemed to have this constant pull in my core, and it began to irritate me. What was that?

"Thank you, Molly. Now, if we're talking about attractive." He turned his head and looked me up and down and I swallowed. The feeling in my core now felt stronger and I put my hand on my stomach. I really wished that that would stop.

I felt myself blushing and I laughed a little bit. I seemed to feel more nervous than anything else when I was around this man. Nervous and excited. As if I were baby being given a sweet for the first time.

"Don't do that." I felt like a school girl on a date with a crush for the first time, like in all those movies I saw on Netflix.

"Oh, I had to." He looked at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world that he had to compliment and I rolled my eyes. I liked him. He was really cool. He had a peaceful, yet daring aura and it made me want to figure him out all the more.

I didn't want this to end. I didn't want the feelings to end. I wished my mom experienced this side of me. I knew that she'd be happy if she saw me this way and she wouldn't be as disappointed with the fact that she birthed someone that couldn't feel. Someone that couldn't be the child she had always wanted. I felt grateful that she ended up having two normal children at least. Well, Ally was an empath with severe anxiety and Haydon was ADD, but they were still the children that I couldn't be and in the moment that I could feel things, it brought me peace that she had them.

Maybe it was a good thing that she wasn't seeing me now. Maybe it was a good thing that nobody, but Luke was seeing me now. Because I knew that once it was over, they'd be not only confused, but sorely disappointed that it wouldn't last forever. I didn't want to let anybody down. I had already let them down enough.