Angel On Fire

Chapter Two

Song for this chapter: Ghost - Halsey

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It was my eighteenth birthday and I had asked desperately to spend it alone with just myself and Eloise. My parents were clearly disappointed, but they respected my wishes. I had agreed to let them do something for me tomorrow, as it was my eighteenth and I knew how important birthdays were to them. It was more of a celebration for them as they made it this far without me dying.

"So, what do you want to do?" I liked being at Eloise's house, because she lived by herself. There weren't no parents or little siblings running around coming into her room to disturb her every five minutes like at my house. I didn't mind my house dynamic, but I needed a break from it sometimes.

"Nothing." I didn't lie. I really felt like my birthdays weren't special. It was just a sad reminder that I was born on this day eighteen years ago. I liked to treat it just like every other day.

"Can we at least do something that doesn't involve sitting in my room all day?" The reason that Eloise had lived alone was because from childhood her house dynamic had been disturbingly toxic. Sometimes I felt like an i***t for feeling so detached from my life when it was perfect really, and then there were people like Eloise who made her way in the world from the mere age of sixteen all on her own and still found ways to love her life. I wanted that. I wanted to feel something towards my life, but it was impossible for me to do it when everything felt so unreal. I didn't know how to control it and I didn't know how to make it feel real. Positive thinking hadn't even helped me.

"Like what?" I asked her.

"Can we go out for lunch?" She asked me and I thought about it for a moment. Eloise wasn't the type of person to ask the waiters to sing for me, like my parents were. She hated it just as much as I did, so I couldn't see the harm in going out with her for lunch. It might be fun.

What was I saying? I never had fun.

"Okay, we can do that." I said and she smiled excitedly. At least I could make someone happy today.

~~~

We arrived at the restaurant and took an outside table. It was nice out today. The air was warm and lucky for me I didn't feel exactly smothered by the Earth. Sometimes, especially when I was somewhere high up, I felt deathly smothered by the Earth. I viewed the Earth as a dome and I was trapped inside of a world that didn't actually exist and was just a simulation. When I was high up, I felt that I was so close to reaching the top and being able to get out, but once I'd get to the top I'd realize that I really was trapped and that scared me more than I'd like to admit.

"Hi, my name is Luke and I'll be your waiter. Can I get you anything?" I looked up at him and it was from that point onwards that everything changed. I gasped out loud and my back slammed against my chair. What was happening to me? I was feeling something. Oh my God, I was feeling. I had never felt things. The world around me lit up and everything around me fell away and it was just light. A deep full light, that emitted from the sky. Everything around me, it just felt so real. What was happening to me?

Suddenly it stopped.

"Molly?!" I felt Eloise's hands on my shoulders, shaking me drastically and I pushed her away. I rubbed my eyes and looked around me. It was all gone. Everything I had felt was all gone and I couldn't understand why. What was that and why did it go? I was feeling things. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Everything around me looked as though it was the reality I had always hoped for. It felt like a universe I belonged in. I felt apart of the world, but not in the way people would think. I was floating above humanity. And I was happy. I was happy about it.

I needed to know what it was. I needed to know desperately what it was. I didn't know where it came from and I was desperate to know.

"What happened?" Eloise asked and I shook my head. I couldn't explain it to her. I couldn't even explain it properly to myself. I was still trying to process what the f**k just happened to me. I needed to figure this out alone. It was so unrealistically real, that it just didn't make sense to me at all. I needed to know right now.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I lied and she looked at me questionably.

"Molly-"

"I'm fine, Ellie. I promise." I glared at her strongly. She knew then to keep quiet. There were somethings that I never allowed people to do and one of those things was that when I said I was fine, it would be left at that. No more questions asked. Eloise knew this, and she knew how agitated I could get. I was glad that she stopped when she did. My head was buzzing, and I felt exhausted.

"What happened to that waiter?" I asked, looking around.

"He went to go call someone to bring us water, and they did. You were just out of it." I looked down at the table and saw two glasses of water placed in front of each one of us. I needed to figure this out and I needed to figure it out fast. I didn't know if I was scared of it or if I wanted it back, but what I did know is that something happened to me and I needed to know what it was. Urgently.