My Boyfriends Brother

Chapter 7 Mathew’s Moment

Nothing. All I saw was nothing. I felt nothing. I was just a stream of consciousness and nothing more. Where do I go from here? I knew what happened. The memory of the salt water burning my lungs as I struggled to breathe and then I slipped into nothingness. 

I don’t know how long I’d been here but suddenly I could see. I could see the ocean. It was calm. Unlike the waves that roared and crashed into me on the night of my death. I thought I had a handle on it. Thought I would have been fine. I was wrong. The rain hadn’t helped. Before I knew it I couldn’t see and I lost my footing on my board. I was suddenly being dragged down—no pushed down by the waves slamming down onto me. I struggled to get back on my board but it had caught something and the line attaching my ankle to it had snapped. The salty seawater taste returned to my mouth. My mouth! I had a mouth again! I reached up touching my lips. And hands! I looked down to see my body standing on the sand just on the shore of the beach. I took a step back and I noticed I left no imprints in the sand with my feet. It was as if I was as light as a feather and didn’t have the weight the mold the sand around my feet. I also couldn’t feel the sand. I reached down to touch it with my hands and nothing. I couldn’t touch it. 

Everything seemed so...surreal. 

“I’m a ghost.” 

I knew it before I even whispered it. I wouldn’t be able to touch anything because I’m dead. 

“Oh s**t! I’m dead!” Again I knew I was dead but I hadn’t acknowledged it before now. How long had I been dead? Moments flashed through my mind of Sierra. Oh no... Sierra. She must be so heartbroken. I wonder can I find her? Will she see me? 

I turned around and there she was...my beautiful Sierra. 

Her hair was a fiery red and long . She’d always put it up in a messy bun but her hair was down this time. It looked as if it had recently dried so it’s wild nature was at its peak. Her lips were so round and plump...so kissable. Her skin was almost a porcelain white. I would always tease her that only she would be this pale when living by a beach. I started to walk towards her when her eyes opened. She was staring in my direction when her facial expression suddenly changed. 

Was it fright? Shock? I could tell. 

“Mathew?!” Her words startled me. Does this mean she can see me? She sat there, frozen. As I drew closer to her I could hear her breathing speed up, her heart pounding through her chest. 

“Mathew...is...is that you?” She asked. I didn’t know how to speak so I just nodded. I sat down in front of her and stared into her eyes. “Mathew...please say something...I’m not crazy right?” I don’t know why but I couldn’t speak. I just looked at her puzzled. She started crying then, putting her face in her hands and crying out, “I must be crazy! This isn’t real. This isn’t real...” 

“Oh my love...” I whispered. Just then she looked up again and reached out to touch me. Her hand passing through my cheek. I could not feel her. By the look on her face, she couldn’t feel me either. But she could see me...