My Boyfriends Brother

I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks on the shore. I could feel the breeze rolling up off the ocean. A slight chill in the air overtook me and I shivered. I knew it was only a matter of time before it began to rain. It had been raining everyday for the past week. I took a deep breath, letting the fresh sea air fill my nose. I closed my eyes, focusing with all my senses. Trying to focus on anything else than what my mind kept retelling.  “Today is just another day.” I whispered to myself. Just one more day on the books where I didn’t break down. One more day I didn’t have him. I sighed. It has been like this for the past five days. I come out here to the ocean, sit on these rocks and try to forget about the world and the state my life was in.  It had been five days since I lost him. The love of my life. He was everything to me. My one. My Mathew. The image of his smile consumed my mind just then. His lips the perfect shade of pink as they turned up on one side, showing off his top teeth. Then his eyes. His eyes were an indescribable color. Sometimes they looked blue and other times they appeared to be green. He use to say they changed with the weather. They would’ve looked blue today.  I could feel my eyes swelling up and a single tear escaped. Then I felt it; the raindrops gracefully landing on my skin. So delicate and light they began to cover me. I didn’t dare to move, I couldn’t. I was still thinking about him. I needed to clear my mind. To stop thinking.  Just then the rain picked up as if on cue. The delicate drops began to feel heavy as they increased in size and speed. I knew I shouldn’t stay here any longer but I just couldn’t leave until I cleared my mind.  “Damn you, rain!” I shouted at the sky. “Can’t you let me have one night without you?” I peered into the air, trying to avoid the rain falling into my eyes.  “Sierra! Sierra! Thank god I found you!” I heard someone shout from behind. I knew that voice. It was Michael, Matthews brother.  “I’m not leaving Mike,” I shouted back over my shoulder. “I haven’t had enough time”  “Well s**t Sierra, you think I have? He was my brother you know!” He was closer now. He must’ve been standing a few feet behind me. “We are all hurting.” He whispered just loud enough for me to hear over the sound of the rain. “You’re getting soaked,” he said as I felt a jacket drape over my shoulders.  “I don’t care.” I spat.  “You know Mathew wouldn’t want you to get a cold. Especially during your birthday week.” My birthday was in two days. I was turning 23 and Mathew and I were supposed to go on a trip up to Boston.  “I said I don’t care Micheal! I’m not going anywhere anyways.” I rattled off. “What does it matter? Oh boy, I get another excuse to stay home and watch Netflix all day.”  “Sierra come on, I can’t stand here all day. I’ll let you stay at my place so you won’t be alone.” He grabbed me from the side on my shoulders and ushered me to turn around and head back. I couldn’t say anything, so I just nodded in defeat. I didn’t want to be alone and Michael was the closest thing I could get in place of Mathew.  We hurried out to his car which was just a few yards away back on the parking lot for this section of the beach. He opened the passenger door and helped me inside. “You’re lucky I’m letting you sit on my nice leather seats as soaked as you are!” He said jokingly.  “I’ll make sure to leave a nice puddle for you to clean up!” I mused back. He chuckled and closed the door and ran to the other side, jumping in the drivers seat as fast as he could. He started the car and the radio was turned up so loud it started blasting some edgy punk music. He quickly pushed the radios power button and gave me an apologetic look.  “My bad... the music helps me... take the edge off.” He began to drive with only the sounds of the rain and the windshield wipers sliding back and forth trying to keep up.  Michael didn’t live far from the beach, just a few miles away. He lived in an apartment complex that housed a lot of college kids so the rent was fairly cheap. Michael graduated college years ago but stayed for the cheap rent. He’s the reason Mathew moved out here in the first place. I met Mathew because of him. I grew up here so I knew just about everyone until Mathew came to town.  “What’re you thinking about?” Michael asked.  “What do you think?” I responded.  “Mathew?”  “Mathew.”