A Mermaid's Heart

Chapter Seventeen.

Six days later.

Some time had passed since that night and I had regained some of my strength, enough to be able to wash myself with Rebecca’s help. She would help me undress and wet the cloth for me to use so that I wouldn’t have to wring it out with my wounded palms. She’d then pick something easy for me to slip into like an oversized shirt or a flowy dress. That evening she had decided on a cream colored shirt that had sleeves that only went down to my elbows and left my shoulders bear. It was long enough to cover my rear but had slits running up the sides, exposing portions of my hips. Rebecca had left me to go fix my dinner that Ben would always prepare since none of them wanted me setting foot above deck yet. I fiddled with the bandages of my left hand, tugging at them to try and wrap them around my fingers as perfectly as Rebecca always would. My eyebrows furrowed up in a mix of frustration and concentration while I worked, not really noticing the man descending the steps to the Captain’s quarters until he took hold of my hand to tie the bandages for me “Let me” when I looked up to thank him, I froze at the sight of Neptune stood before me, his head bowed with his eyes locked onto my hand that he was tending to, his chest was bare like it often was in my dreams and his pale skin matched mine, void of any black markings or blemishes. His black hair was cropped short and his beard hung down to his Adam’s apple. I gasped and staggered back a step, tearing my hand from his grasp and forcing him to meet my wide gaze but as soon as I blinked his sapphire eyes were replaced by golden ones. Caleb stood before me, confusion clouding his features as he looked at me having so suddenly retreated from him. The images, the hallucinations were most likely a cause of sleep deprivation from my not sleeping as much as I needed to. I tried avoiding sleep for fear of seeing Neptune again, for fear of falling even deeper into him than I already had. I slumped down on the edge of the bed, hiding my face in my already bandaged palm while the other lay half done on the mattress beside me “Evangeline-.” he began but I cut him off, raising my half bandaged hand to silence him long enough for me to lower my palm from my face and blink down at my bare feet a few times “I’m just dizzy” I tried to brush it off but when I looked up at the fierce Captain of the Black Pirates I could tell that he didn’t believe me and instead gritted his teeth, trying to suppress the urge to snap at me and tell me that he could see straight through my excuses. I inhaled, looking to the familiar locket on the nightstand, deciding that if I was going to tell Caleb the truth that it was as good a time as any “I’ve been dreaming about Neptune” there was a long pause, an ongoing silence before Caleb took a seat in the chair that seemed to always be positioned beside the bed for either Ben or Rebecca to occupy “They be just dreams” his head lowered to try and catch my eyes, attempting to draw my attention back onto him but I closed them, refusing to look at him. How could I look at him when I was constantly thinking about another man? When all I could see when looking at him was Neptune? I shook my head in response to his words “You don’t understand” I argued, turning my head to glance toward the steps that lead above deck. The words were on the tip of my tongue when my lips parted to speak them but it took everything in me to force them past those very wounded lips “He visits me in my sleep-.” how could I ever show my face to him again? I felt so guilty like a married woman who had shared a bed with someone other than her husband in his absence and was about to reveal her deepest darkest secret to the man she loved more than she had ever loved anyone else “He takes me to this room, speaks to me-.” I swallowed hard, trying to suppress the images of Neptune pressing himself into me on the bed or beside the crystal pool. I could feel him like I could feel Caleb when he had touched Mary before I had discovered who I really was “Tells me how much he loves me” Neptune’s forehead pressed against mine flickered past my eyes moments before I dared look eyes with Caleb, my own glazed over with unshed tears just waiting for a reason to break free of my eyelids. Caleb’s face was set in stone, emotionless and stern as he stared at me, watching my every move like a predator would observe its prey “How long?” he calmly asked, the question causing a fear to rise in my heart, a sinking dread that dragged me deeper into my own guilt. I couldn’t lie to him; it wasn’t fair for me to continue to lie to him. I knew that once he’d find out how long I had kept it all secret he would lose all faith in me, our trust would be lost “Since we left Crescent Coast” the chair went flying, tumbling back and cluttering to the floorboards causing me to flinch in response to the loud bang which was followed by his even louder voice yelling “And ye just now thought to tell me this?” he ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at it and turned his back to me, breathing ragged breaths that sounded like he was trying to calm himself. I stayed silent, not sure how to respond in a way that wouldn’t just continue to anger him even more. That’s when he turned to glare down at me “Do ye love him?” my eyes widened and I shot up from the edge of the bed. I felt for Neptune but the feelings weren’t exactly love yet which was why I so desperately tried to avoid the god, to avoid sleeping “No, no I could never-.” I trailed off, my shoulders slumping when I looked at him with utter defeat written across my features. He stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue. I raised my half bandaged hand and began tugging at the bandages, allowing them to drop to the floor by my feet so that I could show him my wounded palm “The spell wasn’t just to save lost memories-.” I flexed my fingers, flinching at the sudden pain that coursed through me but I wanted to be sure that he saw the blisters, the gaping holes “It was to trap Neptune so that his hold on me would cease to exist” my hand dropped back to my side, the tears that had wanted to escape now on the verge of trailing down my cheeks. I looked to the far wall my head turned to the side when I breathed my next words “I’ve been too afraid to sleep” there was movement from out of the corner of my eye, a head shaking from side to side in disbelief. The time had come and I was so terrified of losing him that I could feel my heart trembling in my ribcage “Ye’ve kept this from me” there it was, a look of accusation, a look of betrayal that painted his eyes. The tears I had tried so desperately to keep from escaping left the corners of my eyes and trickled silently down my pale cheeks. I wanted to scream, to fall to my knees and bang my fists against the wooden flooring but all I could do was stare, waiting for the inevitable. He barely moved, his muscles still, his eyes barely blinking when he turned without a word to head above deck, leaving me enveloped in the silence that stung more than any yelled words or curses ever could. The door slammed shut behind him, drawing my eyes to the steps, my cheeks stained in tear tracks but my mind and body still. I found myself comparing my life to that of a queen. Like a queen I had thousands of people who needed my help, I had a king asking for my hand in marriage and a member of my royal court whom I had fallen hopelessly in love with and desired more than my crown, my kingdom. My last tears left me when I found my reflection in one of the golden knobs of the dresser, the image of a broken woman covered in bruises and bandages. I had come too far for me to turn back, I could feel a pulsing emanating from my fingertips to my shoulders, along the length of my neck to my eyes that began to glow green then blue, red, yellow, orange, they turned a midnight black then settled on purple before fading to my usual mismatched pair. The changes happened so suddenly that if I was to blink I would’ve missed it ‘Rise not burn’ the voices echoed in the back of my mind entrancing me, keeping me prisoner within my own thoughts until the sound of the door opening caught my attention “I had Ben prepare extra meat for you-.” Rebecca was muttering when she froze dead in her tracks, her eyes finally having found my form. She stared at my hand that hung limply at my side, a hand that was free of all wounds. Her hands rushed to place the trey of food that she carried down onto the desk so that she could reach for my hand and examine it “They’re gone-.” she said in disbelief, moving to undo the bandages of my left hand as well, revealing a healed palm with not so much as the slightest of scars to taint its perfect porcelain “Your wounds, they’re gone” she repeated looking up at me to meet my gaze. I was too deep in a trans to respond or react to what had happened, too focused on what was expected of me, on what Aurella wanted, on what the voices desired from me. They wanted me to rise with their power, to use it to climb higher than any man ever could, to hold a title above all else, to rule a nation as its queen. Rebecca let go of me to rush above deck, her flaming red hair standing out against the black canvas of the night when I sunk down onto the edge of the mattress, my eyes staring far beyond the world I knew, the world I lived in to a time long before mine. My body fell back onto the bed, my eyes growing empty, almost dead, head turned to the side. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, drawn into a world that wasn’t my own a black room where a small boy was playing with a violet piece of thread. He wore simple clothing but had eyes as green as the fields in Scotland. His cheeks were covered in freckles and his long brown hair was brushed back to reveal his youthful features ‘Where am I?’ I questioned, my voice echoing into the eerily quiet darkness surrounding us. He ceased his playing and looked up at me from where he was sat on his knees, his big eyes seeming unaffected by my presence as if he’d been expecting me. He glanced back down at the yarn and rose to his feet, one awkward leg at a time until he could run after the thread, into the darkness ‘Wait!’ I called out after him then began running myself before I could lose sight of him. He was fast and nearly impossible to catch until he came to a sudden stop, turning on his heel to face me. I slowed down, my footsteps cautious while my eyes were blind to the six figures surrounding us in the darkness. He uttered something, something low and impossible for me to hear and raised his hand, covered and knotted in the purple string ‘He wasn’t sure you would follow’ the voice of a woman pierced the darkness, causing me to turn to face the direction it had come from. Indeed, a woman stood there clad in a purple gown with eyes that resembled perfect amethysts ‘But because you did, you have won his favor’ when I moved to look back down at the boy there were five others stood behind him, forming a circle that surrounded me on all sides. The boy ran to take his place beside a man who had eyes as red as blood ‘You have slowly begun to win all our favors-.’ my head whipped in the direction of the woman who spoke next. She had black eyes, empty, frightening eyes that relayed the tale of death, death found in old age, found on battle fields and during child birth. The sight of her wit raven hair and an ebony gown made my skin crawl ‘Mary Sillvan’ I looked to the man with sapphire eyes, eyes that reminded me so of Neptune that I found myself drowning in their depths, an ocean of seven seas. From the colors of the two remaining soul’s eyes, I knew where I was and who I was stood before. There was a little girl with yellow eyes and an elderly man with orange ones hidden behind aged wrinkles ‘We are the physical embodiment of the powers that have resided within the jewels’ the woman wearing purple explained when she noticed the recognition in my eyes. I knew who they were, having heard their voices in that dark place between life and death before. I could make out the ones that had screamed at me to rise and not burn, shrieking it like a prayer ‘But of course, you already know this’ my attention turned to the woman with demonic eyes, the eyes of death when she spoke next moving from her place to take a few choice steps toward me ‘Just as you know what we expect of you as our host’ my thoughts from before, their desires for me surfaced in my mind and I knew exactly what they wanted from me, what his was they expected of me ‘You wish for me to rule the seas’ the black eyed woman shared a look with the one who had amethysts in hers then grinned widely, her face becoming even more unnerving with the action. It was then that they all nodded and stepped back into the darkness leaving only the woman dressed in purple to converse with me on their behalf ‘To achieve this you must imprison Neptune for in that moment his power will become yours’ my eyes widened at the realization that they didn’t want me to be with Neptune but to become him, to become the goddess of the seas. By trapping him within my heart I will be granted his title as ruler of the seas and his abilities to control it ‘We represent the seven major elements-.’ she continued, her feet moving to carry her gracefully around my form in a circle while she watched me. I turned, eying her movements, her posture and facial expressions ‘Therefor we care about those who rule over them, the land, the heavens-.’ she locked eyes with me before she continued, making sure that I took in her words ‘The seas’ she stopped, looking to the darkness with her hands clasped together in her lap. I could see her thinking, worrying with a slight frown coating her forehead. There was more, more that I didn’t understand, that I couldn’t understand unless she told me which was why I was there, in the dark place ‘The gods who rule over them are often reckless-.’ she was referring to Neptune, to Amun and Zeus. To the other gods who made up the seven that I saw stood behind the witches. Just as the witches represented their own elements so did the gods. The god of death, the god of souls, the god of the underworld who represented fire ‘They forget where their power comes from and abuses it, causing misery to others-.’ she looked to the ground and slowly began to walk again. The way she moved was like how a queen would when concerned for her people, for her nation and subjects ‘That is why you must take Neptune’s place as he has betrayed this power he was so graciously given’ it made sense to me why they would want him stripped of his title. He had taken the memories of thousands, destroyed the lives of some and now he desires to take me away from those that I love, to take my memories and make me his ‘There are so many things that I don’t understand’ I said without thinking, without being able to stop myself and by the time I had realized what I said it was too late. The woman stopped and turned to fully face me, her head tilting to one side as she took me in ‘This world is filled with mysteries, prophecies and legends. If you had not yet learned this, then we would not have accepted you as our host’ she closed her eyes and listened to the voices whispering around us in the dark. She could make out their every word whereas I could hardly hear them. They stopped abruptly and she opened her eyes, humming ‘The false souls we have created will soon fade and we will not be able to speak with you any further-.’ she turned to her side, ready to go but before she did she paused to look back at me, her face grim and her violet eyes filled with sadness ‘But know this, you are our only hope of righting the wrongs that man has done’ with that she left, her back to me when she walked into the darkness to leave me to my own thoughts. The purple thread that the boy had been playing with followed her, having been the product of her dress coming undone and when it was completely gone I was pulled from the darkness myself, into a room I knew better than any other, into a room filled with worried people baring worried faces, fawning over me like a wounded child. I knew the moment my eyes flew open that I had to do as the jewels desired not just because they wanted it but for Caleb, for myself, for the lost memories and those who had suffered at Neptune’s hands. My fate was sealed and I could only go from there wherever it may lead me.