Thou Shall Not Touch Him(But I Did)

“What would you do if I were to kiss you…right now?” I paused, I could feel my heart beating abnormally in my chest, ragged breaths escaping my lips. At this moment, I couldn’t tell if Ethan was joking or dead serious. He held my stare a little bit longer than usual, just enough to arouse my emotions. I tried to hide my face that was already turning crimson from the burst of emotions I had felt inside but his stare was strong enough to break through the strongest of hearts. Ethan was looking at me today, but this time around he wasn't just looking—he saw me. It suddenly felt hot inside, a bead of sweat rolled down my forehead. This was exactly what I had always wanted but why does it feel scary? I was just one word away from having him wrapped around me. The stars were so close to me now but my hands felt too weak to reach out to them. Ding! Ding! A notification popped up on my phone screen breaking the intense moment between Ethan and I. A sigh escaped my lips. it was from Ava—my best friend. “I understand you ditching me but why aren’t you telling me where you at? What if something happens to you?” I had promised Ava that I would come over today to discuss prom since this would be our last week in school together but when I got a text from Ethan—this cool guy I liked—saying his parents were traveling for the weekend, I couldn’t help but imagined what we could do in our “alone” moment, so I ditch Ava. Ethan was my first love, what I felt for him wasn't something I was unsure of, but something I had acknowledged and accepted. I could still remember that day during math class, he walked in with his backpack and strands of hair that he continuously tugged behind his ear. I couldn’t tell if it was his unconscious movement that drew his attention to me or if it was just him but after a few weeks I was so sure that he was the one. I hadn't fallen for someone this hard before and I couldn’t help but want to always be around him. I had skipped physics class just to attend music class, because of him. I was terrible when it came to musical instruments coupled with the fact that ever since my dad died I had stopped listening to music but that didn’t stop me from attending music class. I would see Ethan everyday and we would practice together most times with no conversation and when he would manage to speak it’s always about if I am hitting the right note or not. I became so good at playing the cello just because of him. A part of me wanted to impress him, wanted him to see me not just look at me. I was calling and screaming his name in the most silent way possible believing one day he would not only hear me but listen to me and he wouldn’t only look at me but see me. I remember that day in swimming practice when I almost drowned, it was the most embarrassing day of my life. I was never a swimmer, in fact, nobody in my family knew how to swim, not even my late father but when I heard Ethan was joining the swimming club I blindly opted to join as well. Indeed, love is blind and it makes people do crazy things, or maybe I was a bit extra crazy. I knew it wasn’t cool ditching Ava but I needed to be with Ethan, this was an opportunity I’ve been waiting for. I didn’t join the swimming club and take music classes just to miss such an opportunity to be alone with him. I stared at the text message a little bit longer than normal hoping the brewing tension between Ethan and I would go away making the atmosphere less awkward. “Would you be my date? For prom?” Ethan asked, a smile on his face as he cupped my chin. I was a bit startled, I stared into his eyes longer than usual, I didn't say anything nor did I protest. I couldn’t find them, those boundaries in his eyes were gone and all I saw was him wanting to have me. I just stared at him hoping he would be able to read my mind that all I wanted at this moment was him. Ethan drew his face closer to mine. As every second went by, his lips were inches away from mine. I closed my eyes, wanting to feel that soft moisturized lips of his that I had always secretly adored in class. I was drowning in his cologne as he inched closer. It was just as I had imagined, his lips tasted like strawberries, or maybe it was just my lip gloss. I didn't really care at the moment all I wanted to do was feel his body against mine. I slowly freed myself, placing my hands on his neck pulling him closer as our tongues entangled. Ethan’s hand ruffled through my curly brunette as our kiss deepened. I could feel his hands around my waist sending goosebumps all over as he lifted me from the sofa in his bedroom we shared. I wrapped my hands around his neck, my eyes still closed as I savored the taste of him. He gently laid me on his bed without breaking the kiss, everything still felt so unreal. I didn’t want it to end. Our lips parted as he traced his way down to my stomach with kisses that seemed to tickle, his lips felt warmth against my skin. “I never thought this would ever happen,” I said, opening my eyes. “Why?” Ethan asked, in a low bedroom voice. “I had only imagined it in my head and fantasized about it. You know I really love you Ethan, you know right?” I asked, my voice calm as if whispering a secret. I could see the smile crawling on Ethan’s lips. “I know you do.” My heart felt warm, as if he had given me assurance that he had seen and listened to me. I didn’t allow it to bother me when he didn’t say he loves me too in response, I was too engrossed in us to worry about little details like that. Ethan’s fingers traced my waist line as he slowly unbuckled my belt. He slid his hands beneath my pants, I could feel his hands massaging my c**k. It was exactly how I had fantasized it to be, I let out a soft and unintended moan. My face reddened as it left my lips, I could see Ethan smiling above me. He pulled off my pants exposing me to the cold evening air. It was raining heavily outside but with Ethan’s skin against mine it felt like I was in a burning lava. It was the silence, speechless and mute s*x that I had imagined between Ethan and I. He lifted me up, and arched my waist as he thrust his meat inside of me. I let out a soft and muffled scream. It was my first time and it hurt as hell, I was a bit tight. Ethan was considerate at first, he went slow and steady. I could hear his calculated breathing as he laid on me. Amidst our heated moment, I heard a rustling coming from the rose bush outside his room. He paused, staring at me, it had already stopped raining by now. “It must be squirrels.” Ethan said. “Why don’t we lock your window? We surely don’t want squirrels participating in our business.” I said, letting out a light laugh. I could see Ethan’s lips curving into a smile as if trying to conceal his laughter. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” I knew we would. I held his stare longer as he thrust inside of me. As the urge increased he went in faster allowing loud moans to escape my lips. He went in faster every second until he reached his c****x and he had a blow out inside of me. Ethan leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. “I love you.” My ear turned red as he whispered into them. “I love you too.” I said in turn. He laid beside me, wrapping his hands around my waist allowing the heat of our skin to keep us warm. I still couldn’t believe that I was in bed with Ethan Sawyer, the transferred student that I had admired and followed around. Real or not, I had made up my mind to enjoy every moment of it. I laid there, undisturbed, and fell into his hold. I closed my eyes, falling asleep. The unlocked window gaped like a wound. Outside, the rain had stopped. Only the wind whistled through it.