Outside In

Chapter 1-2

The processing took a lot longer than it should have, but no one seemed in a rush to finish any of the paperwork. The pouches containing their few personal belongings were inventoried and they signed receipts for storage. Cameron read down the short list of her property: the shirt and trousers she’d worn to court to plead guilty and a wallet containing her driver’s license and $16.37. Maggie had warned her not to take anything valuable with her, that if she pleaded guilty, she’d immediately be taken into custody again, her bail revoked.

Now, after being stripped and ordered to take a rather short, but hot shower with an abrasive soap, Cam sat on a cold metal chair wrapped only in a short, thin gown. Cam had tried to do what she was told without hesitation or balking, but no matter how co-operative she was, the guards always found something she hadn’t done quite right, quite fast enough, or quite enthusiastically enough to suit them. Charlie had said they’d push her, that ex-police were viewed as scum inside the prison, both by guards and by inmates. She’d believed him, but the experience was almost more than he’d prepared her for. At least she wasn’t sprayed with delousing disinfectant like on her first day in the city jail. Her skin still burned from that harsh treatment.

Looking at the other two, Cam was almost glad she’d attracted so much attention during this introduction to prison life. Donna seemed bored, but Sharon looked like she was on the verge of tears, even though most of the attention was centered on Cam. Donna stepped forward first to have her physical exam, but Sharon was more hesitant when her turn came. As she was escorted into the examining room, Cam could see that she was shaking slightly.

Cam watched her go, wondering if she was anxious because she was trying to hide something. Or was there something about her, physically, that she was embarrassed about? No. She hadn’t really looked at Sharon when they were all in the shower together, but nothing seemed out of place. Maybe Sharon was high-strung. Or maybe she’s just cold, like me, Cam thought, trying to adjust the thin gown she now wore.

“Come on, sweetheart. Move your ass.” The words, accompanied by a sharp rap on the shoulder, shook Cam from her reverie. Before she could react, M. Emerson had grabbed her by the arm and thrown her forward, shoving Cam toward the open door to the examining room. “Now the real fun starts. Just sit there.” Emerson pointed to the doctor’s examining table. Cam hoisted herself onto the table as the doctor walked into the room followed by his nurse.

“This the last one today?” Dr. Jerry Keystone asked.

“Saved the best ‘til last, Doc,” Emerson smiled. “This one gets the full treatment.”

The doctor contemplated Cam for a minute. She began to chafe under his gaze.

“Step onto the scale,” was the first order.

Cam did as she was told and waited while he adjusted the weights and height bar.

“Height, 5’7”, Weight 129,” the doctor told the nurse who wrote down his answers. “Hair, brown, eyes, brown. Do you wear corrective lenses?”

“No,” Cam answered.

“Good. Sit down on the table.”

Cam did as she was told. He began by asking her full medical history, year by year, childhood disease by childhood disease. Then, as she sat naked before him, he examined her.

“Where’d you get that?” he asked pointing to the bullet wound scar below her left collarbone as he shined his examination probe into her left ear.

“Convenience store robbery,” Cam answered curtly. “Rookie year.”

“Perp get away?” Emerson asked scornfully

Cam looked her in the eye. “No,” she replied coldly, “I killed him.”

Keystone shook his head. Was that disgust he felt? Or admiration? Cam couldn’t tell for sure.

“Those, too?” he pointed to the other bullet wound scars on her left thigh and hip.

“No. Hostage situation. I rescued a child.”

The doctor turned to Emerson who was leaning against the wall in the corner. He smiled. “We’ve got ourselves a hero.”

Emerson sniffed, uninterested. “Not too careful, though, with all them scars,” she added with a shrug. “And she couldn’t be too good, or she wouldn’t be here.”

The doctor adjusted his stethoscope in his ears and began his physical exam, listening to her chest, then peering into her eyes and inspecting her mouth, tapping her fillings and the gold cap on the back molar. He wiggled the tooth and tried to see if it could be easily removed. “Make a note,” he instructed the nurse who recorded all his findings, “There are two crowns in here, they’ll have to be X-rayed, just in case.” Then he stepped back and reached for a new pair of rubber surgical gloves from the shelf behind him.

“Ever had a full body cavity search before?” Emerson asked with a wry grin as Keystone pulled the gloves on.

Cam shook her head. “Not by a doctor,” she grinned. She glanced from Keystone to Emerson as they exchanged bored but knowing looks.

“Then, you’re in for a treat.” Emerson sneered.

The doctor cleared his throat. “Turn around and bend over.”

Cam stoically turned around and leaned over the table. Closing her eyes, she waited as patiently as possible for the doctor to begin, ready to give her body up to his prodding and probing of her most private places, knowing that if she objected in any way, it would become even worse. She’d been warned that this would happen, that they’d try the most degrading forms of treatment; that she had to remain above and beyond whatever they threw at her. She’d known coming into this, that there were easier things than being in prison. But this was the choice she’d made.

Cam winced as the doctor’s fingers explored her. She tried to keep a wall of detachment around her, trying to keep her mind on something else, not the way his probing seemed: cold and hard. She slowly repeated Charlie’s eight rules for life in prison to herself. “You are in prison now, whatever happened outside has to be forgotten. You have to keep focused. Rule number one: trust no one. Rule number two: stay alert.”

Cam suddenly felt the urge to pee as the doctor pushed against her bladder. Before she could check her reaction, her body stiffened to object to the treatment. A heavy hand on the back of her neck forced her face into the table.

“You got a problem with what he’s doing?” M. Emerson growled into her ear, pressing her harder into the table.

“No, ma’am.” Cam wheezed as the pressure interfered with her breathing.

“Then watch yourself. I’d love an excuse to get to you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cam acquiesced.

After a brief pause for emphasis, Emerson gave Cam a quick shove and backed away. Hands on her rear told Cam that the doctor had resumed his exam. But, then, at last, it was finally over…or she hoped it was. Already, her body felt battered by all his prodding. She had to keep her psyche from feeling the same way.

“All right,” the doctor said, “Turn around.” He waited until she was facing him. “You look pretty healthy.”

“Thanks.” Cam couldn’t control just one comment, “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

“Don’t get wise, scum,” Emerson sprang at her and gave her a hard shove against the table. Cam was bent backward over the table with the guard leaning heavily on her. “You think that’s funny? You think you’re the first one who ever said that? Now, apologize to the good doctor and thank him for his kind examination.” She gave Cam a hard shove and took a step back.

Cam straightened up slowly. “Sorry,” she muttered to the doctor.

“Thank him. Nicely.” It was an order.

Cam slowly raised her eyes to the doctor. “Thanks for the exam,” was all she said.

“You keep running your smart mouth like that and we’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other. And if it comes down to which one of us is tougher, I don’t think you’d get very good odds. Do you understand me?” Emerson’s threat held quite a bit of venom.

Cam looked at the floor and nodded. “Yes. I understand.”

The guard pointed toward the door. “Let’s go get your new wardrobe and housewarming gifts.”

Cam reached for the gown where it lay on the examining table but Emerson stopped her.

“You don’t need that,” was all she said.

Cam wanted to object but knew it would be useless. With a resigned sigh, she walked, naked, out through the back entrance of the room. Looking down the corridor, she could see a sign marked “Supply Room”. She hoped that was as far as she’d have to go to be issued her prison clothes.

The in-take interview and the rest of the paperwork were still ahead, another several hours work, before she would even come in contact with the other prisoners. Thank God Charlie had prepared her for what she’d have to go through. Now, if she could just keep her mind focused on everything else Charlie and Michael had taught her and not let the situation get to her, she’d be all right. And she might even live to tell about it.

As she waited for the bored supply room clerk to issue her clothing, her mind slid back four months…God, was it only four months?…just to remind herself why she was here and reassure herself that she’d made the right decision. Today was the first day of a three-year prison sentence for dealing drugs. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time…