The Cursed Alpha

Chapter four, The Dairy

When Julia got back home to the packhouse her mother was waiting for her. "Julia dear, where have you been? Elsa told me you just ran of," Julia didn't want to look her mother in the eyes, so she looked down on the floor and shrugged her shoulders. "Just out, running. Letting go of some energy. " Her mother put her arms around Julia and pulled her into a tight hug, "Oh my sweet girl, I can't imagine what you are going through." Julia felt the tears starting to form in her eyes and she blinked rapidly trying to keep then from falling, she hugged her mother back, "I'm okej, I just needed to be alone" and with those words Julia left her mother standing in the corridor looking after her daughter with a worried expression on her face. She knew her daughter was scared, and so was she. She is not ready to lose her daughter.

*

Once back in her room, Julia took out the old book she had found in the library a couple of days ago. It was a dairy written by Seamus, a werewolf that shifted the first time when he was 19. Only four others were known to have survived the shift after the age of 19, and Seamus was famous not only to have survived the shift but also for being a great warrior. Julia climbed into the bed and opened the book where she last stopped reading.

"The night was chilly, I remember that. The spring was around the corner, but winter didn't want to let go just yet. I remember the feeling off the frost under my feet and the feeling of the cold breath coming from my mouth, Anna was beside me, holding my hand, strocking her tumb over mine. The pain started somewhere deep inside me. First, I couldn't tell what it was, but it was growing, and it was frightening. I could hear Anna say something, but i couldn't make out her words. As the pain spread through my body, so did the fear, and it blinded me from seeing anything around me.Only the feeling of the pain was left. The sound of the first bone cracking was deafening, drowing out Annas voice. I could feel my bones c***k and shift places, I felt my body changing from its human shape into the shape of a wolf. I wanted to die. I wanted to leave this earth and never look back. Anything else would be better than the pain I was feeling. In the dark cloud of pain, a shimer of light started to appear, guiding me and calming me. What felt like a lifetime ended up being just a few minutes. And then it was quiet, so quiet it felt like i was left all alone in the world. But then I could hear things, things I had never heard before. Things that picked my interest, things I wanted to explore. And then the smell. Oh, all the wonderful smells that came through my nose, not my human nose but my wolf nose. I was lying on the ground, and on shaky legs, I stood up for the first time as a wolf. The pain was gone, and so what's the fear. A voice in my head suddenly spoke to me. " Hi, finally it's my time to run." I was startled but quickly regained myself. " Who are you?" I asked. The voice answered, " I'm Bae, your wolf as you are my human." And then it hit me, I finally had my wolf. My companion, my other half, and for the first time I felt whole. "Now, what do you say? Shall we try this body out and see what it can do?" Bae didn't wait for my answer before he stretched out our legs and started running through the woods. It was something I had never felt before, the feeling of the grass and the mud and the sharp rocks under my paws. It didn't hurt like with my human feet, the paws adapted to the ground beneath and made my body almost fly over the ground. For each step we took, I could feel the energy burst through my body. I felt free and at peace. All the way to the lake we went, and there we stopped looking down into the reflection in the water, and I got to see myself and my wolf for the first time. We were big, black and with grey eyes that reminded me of the moon. I don't know how long we stood there looking at ourselves, but after a while we heard footsteps approaching. We looked around and we saw Anna. The moonlight reflected in her golden hair, making it shimmer. She was breathtaking. We both felt a connection with her even if we couldn't put our finger on what it was. But I was happy to see her and so was Bea. Happy that she had stood by me through the whole shift. "You just took off," her voice sounded sad and I rushed to her side stroking my big head against her body, showing her my remorse for just leaving her there in the woods. She stroked her hand over my fur, and small sparks followed where she touched me. And I knew she was the reason I survived the shift. She was the light that was guiding me back from the dark. And I would forever be her grateful"

Julia was looking at the pages. Who was Anna? She knew from the history lessons that Seamus had found his mate 5 years later. So Anna couldn't be his mate, but they did have some kind of bond. Julia went back to the beginning of the dairy, but Seamus only talked about the fear of the shift and the war that was taking place at the same time. Julia skipped ahead and looked through the pages. Seamus does mention Anna a few times more, but most of the notes in the diary are only a recollection of the war. In truth, only the pages covering Seamus shift felt like it was written with feelings. Julia lets out a big sigh and leans back onto her pillows. Who was Anna? And where could she find more information about her? The library ofcours, no books were thrown out, not even old letters and dairys. Her pack were notorious known for trying to keep the history. But it had resulted in a very big library covering 3 floors and part of the basement where the really old books were keep in a perfect and controlled environment.

Back in the library Julia went to the section were she found Seamus dairy. She took out book after book trying to find something about Anna. After an hour or so Julia felt beaten. Not one word of Anna, and with no ide of what to look for Julia laid down on the floor and looked up into the ceiling, letting the tears out, where should she start in this massive library. Who could she aks without reveling why she ask. Julia didn't want anyone to know why, she didn't want the others to know how deep her fear went. The door opened in the other end of the library and Julia quickly got back up onto her feet. With her hands she whiped away her tears and took a few deep breaths to regain the controll of her emotions. But the other person stopped a few bookshelf away and after a few minutes he or she went back out again. Julia looked at the watch on her arm and heard how her stomach was growling. Realising she hadn't eaten for hours, and even if she didn't have her wolf yet she still had a big appetite like most werewolf had from childhood. With one long last look at the books she decided she needed food before she could continue and she left the room.