Prologue
Dear Diary,
Without warning, the surprisingly good day had turned into a nightmare.
Once again, I’m sitting under these floor boards waiting for this nightmare to end. I think back to the many times I’ve spent in this little room. The junkie who occupied the apartment before us had used this space to hide his drug stash. Sometimes I can still smell the scent of chemicals that I can only assume he used to make the drugs. However, now I have found serenity in this little room. I have made efforts to make it more comfortable for my brief stay here.
Up above me, I can hear the voices of the men who are here to visit my mum. These men visit a lot. When they are there, my Mumma’s muffled screaming and moaning can be heard through the floorboards. It’s always followed by shouting and arguments about payments.
Sometimes Mumma even has bruises and marks on her body. I don’t understand why Mumma never tells me about why these men visit. She tells me to hide in this little room until she calls out our safe word. It’s like hide and seek, but instead of me counting to ten and finding her, I have to wait to hear Choo Choo before I can go out and find her. Recently, these men have been visiting a lot. Mumma says it’s because she’s been having more clients at work and business is booming. She has managed to save enough money for me to go to a boarding school in Mariners Bay. I know she is lying because I saw her take a bag full of cash from a guy in the car park just outside our apartment. I don’t understand why she is lying to me or why she wants me to leave? But she said I will be safe at boarding school, and no one will be able to touch me there. She said she doesn’t want me to have the same life as her.
I have never really known what kind of work Mumma does. She never has to leave the house to go to her job, like the other parents at school. No, Mumma’s clients come to her. The kids at school all tease me about her job. The boys say my Mumma’s a w***e. When I asked Mumma what that word meant, she said it means she’s a good person. I don’t believe her though because, deep down, I know she isn’t a good person. I know she is trying to keep me away from that Sumo man who comes every Friday to gather his collections. Mumma says he is her boss, and some nights he is the one to give Mumma the bruises on her body. Mumma has given me strict instructions to stay away from him. He looked at me funny when Mumma told him I was going to be turning thirteen on Friday. She wants a free day to celebrate with me, but he said no. That’s why today, on my birthday, I’m hiding in this room while Mumma has her men visitors over.
I didn’t even get a chance to meet with Brownie today. He is probably waiting at the edge of the woods as he does every day. He is the only friend I have. I know I talk a lot about him in my diary, but he is just so amazing. His chocolate brown fur is the reason I’ve given him that name. It is so soft and fluffy. I can spend hours just running my hands through it. Mumma doesn’t know about Brownie, but maybe it is time I tell her about him. Maybe they can keep each other company while I’m gone. Perhaps Brownie can protect Mumma from that Sumo man, just like he protected me from those drunk men the first day I met him. I wonder if I will get to see him once more before Mumma sends me to boarding school?
I don’t want to go. I don’t want to stay away from Mumma and Brownie. Mumma said it is more important for me to leave now than ever before. She has been very worried about me. Mumma says that one day I will understand why it is so important that I go away.
I think it’s the following Monday that I go away. Mumma has said she will visit me whenever she can. Hopefully, she can come and stay in Mariners Bay with me someday. I wonder if I can convince her to let me take Brownie with me. Would the boarding school allow me to have a huge pet wolf in my room? Even though he is big and scary, he is very friendly. Maybe after I tell Mumma about him, she can bring him to visit me too.
I will miss him the most...
