Letters And Lies

Chapter one — Dear Conrad Phoebe's POV My hand shook as the pen scratched across the paper. I shouldn’t be doing this. Not here. Not now. But the words wouldn’t stop coming. “Conrad… I can’t stop thinking about you. The way your hands would feel on my waist during practice, rough and sure. How you’d push me against the lockers after everyone else has gone home, kissing me like you’ve been starving for me. I imagine you sliding your fingers under my skirt, whispering that I’m yours while the whole school walks by without knowing…” Heat flooded my cheeks. I bit my lip hard, glancing over my shoulder even though the library was almost empty. The late afternoon light coming through the high windows had turned everything golden orange, but it did nothing to cool the fire crawling under my skin. I kept writing. “Every night I touch myself thinking about you pinning me down. About you telling me to be quiet while you— A soft creak made me freeze. Footsteps. Someone was coming down the aisle. Heart hammering, I quickly folded the letter and shoved it between the pages of my notebook. My fingers were still trembling when I looked up. It was just Mrs. Willow, the librarian, pushing a cart of books. She gave me a small smile and kept moving. I let out a shaky breath and pressed my thighs together under the desk. God, what was wrong with me? Conrad didn’t even know I existed. He was the golden boy—star quarterback, confident, untouchable. And here I was, writing the kind of things that would ruin me if anyone ever read them. Especially not him. I stared at the folded letter for a long moment, then slipped it into an envelope. My hands moved on autopilot as I wrote his name on the front in my neatest handwriting. Conrad Hilton. Tomorrow during lunch, I’d find a way to slip it into his locker. Or maybe hand it to one of his friends. Just… get it out of my system. Once it was gone, maybe these fantasies would finally leave me alone. As I made my way to the football field, I heard Summer and her minions of cheerleaders chant with excitement. But it wasn't for Conrad. “Seth.” “Seth.” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms as I watched Conrad run towards the goalpost with the ball in his possession. “Come on Conrad, you can do it.” I muttered under my breath. I loved watching him during practice, he was the best in the team ... .or least I thought he was. Before Conrad tasted victory, a dude came out of nowhere and knocked him off course. “No fair!” My voice came out sharper than I expected. He picked up the ball and ran towards the goalpost, did a dramatic jump over on one of the other players and scored. Darn it. The girls cheered behind me, reigning praises like he was some king. Their coach walked over to the golden goose and held his hand in the air. “Seth Astor, you're the new team captain.” He turned to Conrad with a disappointed look. “Nice defense.” Conrad threw his helmet off in annoyance. “Whatever,” he grumbled before walking away. Seth took off his helmet with a loud grin, exposing his wavy curls and charming smile. The girls squeaked behind me, but my stomach twisted in disgust. He made Conrad lose. Our eyes crossed paths for a moment. Mine burned with anguish but his… They carried excitement. He jumped over the fence and stood in front of me, staring at me intensely. Great, another playboy. Before he could open his mouth, I turned my back on him and walked away. I was nowhere interested in a playboy. He transferred a month ago, but he was already in every girl's skirt. They hung his picture in the hallway, worshiped him like he was some idol. He was Conrad's rival and an enemy of Conrad. He was my enemy. ******** The cemetery was warm and silent. I sat on the grass in front of dad's headstone, legs stretched out casually, the evening breeze cold on my skin. It has been exactly one year today. “Hey Dad,” I said softly, a small smile tugging at my lips. “It's me again. Sorry I haven't come in a while….school has been crazy.” I traced my fingers over the smooth stone, not really sad….just comfortable. “Mom's really happy these days, you know… Daniel makes her happy.” I let out a light laugh. “He makes her smile in ways I haven't seen in years.” I picked a small wildflower growing near the grave and twirled it in my fingers. “He's not you, obviously. But he's good to her.” After my dad passed away last year, mom and I had to survive alone. Until she met Daniel and fell in love with him. They got married three months ago. Footsteps approached from behind. I turned my head and saw Mom walking toward me, a gentle smile on her face. She was carrying two small cups of dil’s youghurt—my favorite. “Hey baby,” she said, sitting down beside me on the grass. “Still talking to your father?” “Yeah.” I smiled back. “Just updating him.” She handed me one of the cups and opened hers. For a while we sat in comfortable silence, sipping quietly. Then she spoke softly. “Phoebe… the moving truck is coming early on Saturday. Daniel’s house is ready for us. I know it’s a big change, but I really believe this is going to be good for both of us.” I nodded, staring at the headstone. “I know, Mom. I’m happy for you. Really. You’ve been glowing since you met him. I don’t want to hold you back.” I stayed quiet for a moment, just listening to the distant sound of the birds and cars from the road outside the cemetery. “I'm not sad about leaving our old house,” I admitted. “Its been a year and I think I'm ready to move on too.” Mom reached over and squeezed my hand. “Thank you, sweetheart. That means a lot.” We sat there a little longer, the sun slowly dipping lower. I wasn't heartbroken about leaving the past behind. I was just… a little nervous about what the new chapter would bring.