Love In The Air

Chapter 10

Rain looked at Payu with shock coursing through his whole body. His mouth was wide open and his eyes,which were still a little bloodshot from the tears were fixed on Payu. “What did Payu mean?” he questioned himself. He has to have heard what Payu said wrongly. “What did you say Phi?” The atmosphere in the room became thick and cloudy just like the atmosphere outside. The words “don’t come here” struck Rain like a bolt of lightning. He was numb but tried to laugh it off as the joke he thought it was. He pushed against Payu’s chest questioning if he was joking or he prayed he misheard what Payu said. The denial struck Rain so hard he even told himself that he didn’t hear anything and what he heard was the thunder outside.

Rain didn’t and wasn’t able to understand what was going on. A minute earlier the senior was hugging, kissing and comforting him but now he was being forbidden to come to the garage and see him. This place was his safe space. The place where he felt like no one could touch him. He felt the comfort and safety when he felt at his weakest. Rain swore his heart had stopped, he felt his toes curl and turn to ice. He reached to grab Payu to reassure himself that this was a horrendous joke. “Please tell me” Rain started to ask him fighting back the tears. “you are kidding.” Rain’s hand that was gripping Payu’s shirt in a vice like hold loosened when he saw Payu’s eyes turn from a comforting space to a space that he felt was mocking him.

“I am not.” Payu responded. Rain’s memory cast back to him shouting and cursing that he never wanted to see Payu again, but his priorities had long changed since then.

Rain’s inner monologue took over. “Rain don’t you think you are over reacting?” He asked himself. He even remembered Sky telling him that he was annoying. Rain knew he was a stubborn man and sometimes he didn’t realise how annoying he could be. He would do something even if he knew the results would not turn out in his stead, but he kept trying anyway and never gave up. “Does my refusal to give up make others resent me?” He asked himself silently as he searched for the words to try and make Payu change his mind. He was in a state of sheer panic now although to look at him you would never have known it. He was doing his best to keep the facade of being cool but was beginning to feel his mask falling with every word Payu muttered. “Phi Payu” He started gently ensuring that he kept the panic out of his voice. “Do you feel I am bothering you?” The panic was now becoming apparent. “I am so sorry, I will never come here again without telling you first.” He knew he sounded nervous and desperate, but he didn’t care. “I won’t interfere with what you are doing. I promise not to break into the race track again and I will try not to become a bother to you again!” He was now begging Payu and could hear the stammer in his voice. He knew his eyes were filling again; he felt the dry lump at the back of his throat and was forced to swallow it. Was Payu annoyed with me because I kept hugging his neck so tightly? Rain questioned himself again having no confidence in the relationship between Payu and himself. If he could figure out what he was doing so wrong, he could stop what he was doing that was annoying Payu. “It was probably my tear stained face that made him mad.” Rain was fighting the tears back but sorely losing the battle. He pawed at his face to swipe the tears away. Rain couldn’t understand why he was so miserable; he had never felt so dejected by rejection before. “I just want to see you and I want to keep coming here.” Rain said pitifully. His hands still trying to clear his blood shot eyes. “I won’t cry, I won’t cry.” Rain kept telling himself, he turned to Payu. “You don’t need to comfort me, I really won’t cry.” Rain was trying so hard, but you could still see every fibre of his body shaking.

“Rain don’t cry” Payu sighed. “You have cried enough today.” Payu watched as Rain trapped his lip between his teeth and bit down. “Rain?”

“Yes?” He replied obediently. Rain didn’t have the courage to look into Payu’s eyes.Payu pulled his hands away from Rain’s face and moved his fingers to Rain’s chin forcing his face up to, giving him no choice but to look into his eyes. Rain saw the intensity and seriousness that Payu held in his eyes.

“I am not mad at you, Rain.”

“But....” Rain questioned.

“But from the beginning I told you that” Payu started to explain and broke Rain’s heart in the process. “You had to manage your time well so that you know how to prioritise things.” Rain nodded meekly.

“I remember everything you said.” Rain agreed. “But the implementation of your words just didn’t seem to happen.”

“Didn’t I tell you beforehand” Payu interrupted. “If you want to flirt with me, you should do it before you become a sophomore right?” He looked for Rain to agree with him. “Why did I say that? Because it gets tougher the further you get into your studies. Right now, you are still a freshman and yet you aren’t able to manage your time well. Do you understand how difficult it is going to get later on? Do you know how hard it is for seniors who feel it is a waste of time to date?” Rain wanted to object but couldn’t, there were no words he could find that would make Payu change his mind. “Yesterday, I even asked you when the deadline for your assignment was and you didn’t tell me.”

“You told me you would leave me and go alone.” Rain responded with a squeak, rather than a voice.

“Yes” Payu told him in exasperation. “Do you really think I would be cruel enough to not let you finish your assignment?” Rain fell silent again because he knew Payu was right. He knew he had to submit his assignment today and he decided to go to dinner even though he knew it wasn’t complete. “If we didn’t go yesterday, we could have gone another day.” Payu couldn’t help but feel irritated and sympathy all at the same time. “There is still a lot of time for us to eat and relax with each other. I am not saying I am the perfect student. I fix cars, I take part in the race, I do things that I like. I do everything that I want to but one thing I never fail to do is my job.” Rain wanted to cry because Payu was right in everything he was saying. He sought comfort in him but found strictness and a lecture in responsibility. “If you can’t take responsibility for your own actions, don’t bother coming back.” Payu told him in the strictest voice he had used all night.

Rain felt like a puppy being kicked from his mother, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew what he had done wrong and being the stubborn person, he was he was never going to give up. He may have got lost slightly along the way, but he knew how to get back on track. He didn’t want to listen to this lecture twice. But he needed to ask something that was bothering him the most. “So that means you are not annoyed by me?” Rain asked, he had to know if Payu hated him.

“If I was bothered by you” Payu told him. “I wouldn’t have come back to wipe your snotty face again.” He pulled out tissues and wiped Rain’s face and nose. Rain turned away to get the tissues but as he reached for the box it was kicked away from him.

“Phi Payu!” Rain protested, he didn’t waste any more time and just wiped everything from his face with the t shirt he was wearing.

“Disgusted by your own snot?” Payu teased. Rain felt too shy to ask Payu to wipe his face again.

“No but Phi you changed the subject again.” Rain knew that Payu had switched his attitude back to the jokey and fun personality; he could see that in the way he teased him. Rain felt daring enough that he grabbed Payu’s t shirt with both hands and pulled him closer. “IF I can be responsible for my studies, I can come here again, right?” Both sets of eyes met, Payu looked at Rain’s puppy eyes and knew what the answer was going to be.

“NO” The colour from Rain’s face immediately drained. He bowed his head to the floor. “Until you prove that you are responsible you can’t come here.” Rain perked up and started shaking Payu vigorously as he asked.

“How do I prove it to you?”

“I will tell you later” Payu told him. “Now finish your food and take a nap, I will take you home later.”

“But...” Rain protested.

“Rain!” Payu said sternly, making him jump. Rain immediately sat up straight like he was being told off in school. He started to eat the cold fried rice that sat in front of him without any more questions because he had to do anything he could to win Payu back. Rain didn’t taste anything as he ate and all he could do was feel sad. He was shaking with the thought of not being allowed to come here anymore. He didn’t know how he was or what he had to do to prove it, but he knew he was going to.

Rain fell asleep crying. The person responsible for the tears he cried was sitting at the edge of the bed watching him sleep with a cheerless expression on his face. He patted Rain’s head with one hand and the other hand cradled his face. Rain didn’t realise the person who was being so cold to him nearly gave in just by looking at his face. He admired how Rain was so persistent but defiant. He knew he could crush Rain’s spirit in seconds, but he wanted to preserve everything about this young man who slept in front of him. “Now is not the right time to explain it to you.” Payu told Rain as he slept. Payu knew he wanted to dig a pit so deep that Rain could not escape from it. He wanted to keep Rain for himself. Payu may act like he is just having fun with Rain but if he wasn’t serious, he wouldn’t bother to drag it out this far.He would seduce Rain quicker and would have swatted him away the second time they met. He was getting seriously involved but Payu knew that Rain was still young and there were lots of different things that could divert Rain away from Payu. He had a friend who used to spend his time drinking and dating women that would force him to prove himself. They would push so hard that he took solace if he could succeed in anyone’s eyes and was attracted to anyone who saw him as a success. He didn’t want the same thing for Rain.If he didn’t take responsibility now then he was going to destroy his career, but he also didn’t want to push him so hard that he lost him completely. No matter how much Payu wanted to say Rain was his, he had to be patient. Payu started to caress Rain’s cheek with his knuckles and slowing brought his fingers up to move the stray hairs that had fallen across his face. He lightly flicked Rain’s forehead telling him “Don’t disappoint me.” Payu placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, slid down and kissed his nose and then his warm lips brushed his soft cheeks, trying to memorise the way that Rain’s aroma was. He moved to Rain’s lips and pressed a kiss against the plump lips that haunted him late at night.

“Hmmmm” Rain stirred. “Phi Payu” Rain turned mumbling in his sleep while reaching to snuggle into him.

“DAMN” Payu had to get away and jumped from the bed. He took long strides to the bedroom door cursing with every step. If he didn’t escape, there was no going back. “Who taught you to be so cute?”

“Hey” Phi Som greeted Rain. “How are you?”

“Hello Phi” Rain replied emotionlessly. Rain sat at a table across from his senior with a plate of chicken rice and a glass of juice not even realising the chaos around him. Rain’s listlessness caught the attention of the fourth year senior whose hands were filled with project equipment and papers. He still stopped to check on Rain, although things were a little heated between the two the last time they saw each other, Som didn’t like to see Rain so upset.

“What’s wrong with your friend?” Som asked Sky. Sky told the senior student what had happened when Rain was reprimanded by the Professor. Som couldn’t control the laughter and patted Rain on the back.

“You’re in a bad mood because of that?” He giggled while asking Rain. “Listen, recently the Professor told me that the kindergarten children are more creative than I am.” He was trying to comfort Rain, but it wasn’t working. “I didn’t take it too seriously, if you want tips on how to wake up on time, I have some great ideas for you.” Som was beginning to preach now, and Rain was getting more upset the more Som spoke. “Just set four alarms in the four corners of your room. That will make you so agitated that you have to wake up to turn each one of them off. By that time you’re done, you’re going to be too annoyed to go back to sleep.” He realised he was wasting his time trying to advise the junior students, but he continued to do it anyway. “Consider this advice from the more experienced one, no matter how bad your assignments are, submit it anyway. It’s better to get scolded for a poor performance than not submitting at all.”

“I know it now Phi” Rain responded with irritation littering his voice. “It doesn’t bother me that much anymore, but it’s really hard not to let anyone down.”

“Just prove it to the professors” Som responded. “Just prove that you intend to do well from now on. No matter what happens. Don’t get discouraged or depressed. I am so out of breath, trying to get my next paper finished. I don’t even have time to get discouraged. Look at the group over there” Som pointed to a group that were currently drinking alcohol at lunch time. “They hang around, drink booze and have fun for sure but they aren’t going to complete everything we have to in five years.” He sighed as he thought about how he only had a year left. “Their friend tried to tell them, but when people won’t help themselves what can you do?” Rain knew that the senior was trying his best to cheer him up and it made him realise how much of a good person Phi Som was. Rain smiled at him trying to convince Som that he was okay but deep down the one person he was scared of disappointing wasn’t the professors. It was the one person who had become the most important person in his life.

“Hmmm” Rain was moving his food around the plate.

“Well, I have to leave, see you later” Som announced. “Cheer up Rain.” Som struggled to stand up with everything in his hands.

“Phi Som, let me help you.” Sky said.

“Help your friend first” Som told him.

“It’s fine” Sky reassured him. “It’s already been a week.” Rain was constantly surprised at how perceptive Sky was. He knew the reason that his friend was sad, was not the professor. Sky watched as Rain was constantly checking his phone, waiting for a phone call that never came. He didn’t want to be nosy, and he knew that if Rain didn’t want to talk about it then he wouldn’t.

“If you really want to help” Som started to ask. “Are you free tonight?” Sky nodded which brought a smile to Som’s face.

“Would you bring dinner for late night rice and a midnight snack at 2am?” Som continued. “Sandwiches would be good.” Sky laughed at the proposition.

“Are you in a hurry to finish everything?”

“Hurry?” Som exclaimed with his voice going up an entire octave. “I haven’t slept in two nights. If I had ten hands it would make my life sooo much easier. I would have finished as well.” Som and Sky walked away from the table still chatting, but Rain still hadn’t touched his food. He rested his chin on his forearm as he watched them walk away.

“You aren’t the type of person that gives up Rain!” He told himself. The day he last saw and spoke to Payu, he had dropped Rain home with Rain’s car and took a taxi back to the garage. Both men didn’t utter a word the whole time Payu was driving. It had been a whole week since then and he had not received a single message or phone call from Payu. This made Rain even more upset. He had already come to terms with the late submission, but it really bothered him not being able to go to the workshop. “How do I prove myself when Phi Payu hasn’t even seen me working hard?” He questioned himself. Rain went from being glum with his chin on his forearm to standing with his eyes sparkling and excitement pumping through his veins. “Then I have to go there and prove it.” He grabbed his things and the plate that was still intact and left the cafeteria. He was sure he left a path of fire with how quickly he left.

As Rain got closer to his destination, he had to summon all of his strength. The fear that was surging through him was palpable. When he pulled into the workshop all of the excitement and positivity had evaporated and uncertainty had slid into place. “Don’t come back here” The words kept repeating through his head.

“NO Rain” He scolded himself. “It’s not the time to think about this.” Rain encouraged himself and collected all of his belongings that he would need to finish his assigned work and walked down to the office. “Phi Pa....” Rain was met by the clerk not the person he expected. His words were swallowed back into his throat, when he was met with sharp eyes that looked at him with wonder and then coldness. The person turned back and spoke to the mechanic without greeting him. Rain felt bleakness roll over himself as he thought it wouldn’t be hard to say hello. NO! Rain told himself. No don’t give up. He picked up his spirits for the third time since he arrived at the garage and made his way straight to the office, but he made sure he avoided the guy in the blue overalls. He raised his hands to say hi to everyone, but they quickly disappeared. “Phi Aon, can I sit in the mirror room; is it free?”

“I am sorry Rain.” Aon looked at Rain with pity on his face and felt awkwardness as he geared up to tell Rain that Payu had instructed everyone not to let him in. Phi Aon looked towards Payu who was currently working on one of the monster trucks they had in the workshop.

“No problem” Rain said with a forced smile on his face, “Can I use the other room?” He could feel the embarrassment rising in him as Phi Aon shook his head.

“That’s where the customers wait” Aon explained. “So that’s not possible.”

“Okay then” Rain was determined to get through to Payu. “May I please borrow a chair?”

“Oh” Aon nodded in surprise and brought out the chair wondering what Rain was going to do. Rain thanked Aon took the chair and his laptop from his bag, looking for a corner where he would disturb them the least. He used the chair like a desk and opened his notes and started to work on his assignment. Everyone in the garage kept turning their heads to look at Rain and would then turn back to look at Payu. As the day became later and the sun started to hammer down on Rain, everyone could see the sweat that started to bead on his fair creamy skin. Rain didn’t bother and just wiped the sweat away with the back of his hand and continued to work. Rain was entranced by the task at hand and the noise of the garage around him didn’t faze him.

“I told you not to come here.” The tall shadow fell on him from behind. He recognised the voice immediately and shuddered. He raised his head to look at the eyes that were glaring down on him, but he was going to try and be gentle with the tiger.

“I came here for a change of environment.”

“Then go to the cafeteria on campus.” Payu told him with a sharp tone that had him choking back.

“I am sitting here quietly” Rain argued. “I am not occupying much space and I am not distracting anyone.”

“But you are the distraction!” Rain lowered his head to look at the contents of his assignment, why could he not remember the last word he typed. He questioned if the heat getting to him or was it the person standing over him.

“I just came to see your face for a while.” Rain snapped. “Okay!!”

“Don’t you have exams coming up?” Rain had to think twice when he answered Payu because Payu had been trying to finish the relationship with him in their last couple of conversations.

“I am presently working on my final semester report.” Rain informed Payu. “Not sitting playing around.”

“Then go sit in the cafeteria or somewhere!” Payu told Rain coldly.

“There are people who prefer certain places to work” Rain answered Payu. “And my work preference space is here. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I am focusing on my job as being here keeps me focused. Am I not even allowed to do that?” Rain pointed to the work space he had created. He was sitting on the carpeted floor cross legged, using the chair as his work station, which was the least amount of space being taken up by anyone in the whole workshop. His face which had the most determined look on it made Payu sigh.

“Huh” Payu sighed in annoyance and went back to the car he was working on and left Rain to his work. Rain sighed in relief.

“Does that mean I am allowed to stay?” He asked himself silently. Rain smiled with satisfaction on his face, he didn’t complain about the hot weather, and he felt his brain working harder than normal.

“Rain” Aon whispered. Rain was lost in his work and didn’t even know how long he had been sitting and working when Aon had called him. “Khun Saifah ordered you to sit in his office.” Aon pointed to the glass room where the twin with the moustache and beard was currently sitting. He was checking documents on the table. Rain turned to look at Payu who was busy, sweating out, while fighting with car parts.

“Payu told me not to use the room” Rain told him, Aon turned to look if Payu was watching then and bent down to whisper to Rain.

“Don’t tell anyone I told you this” Aon started to explain. “Khun Saifah called you because Payu went over there and asked him to let you sit inside. I overheard the conversation myself.” The man jumped to his feet, carrying the chair and its contents. “Let’s go inside, it’s hot outside and you’re turning red” Aon told him. “It’s not good for a kid like you.” Aon shouted loud enough that Payu could hear what they were saying and moved towards the office.

“Thank you handsome” Rain shouted. “Phi Payu.” He had long given up caring about who heard anything to do with them, but he happily entered the room and continued to work on his assignments.

“Oh, look it’s the mean guy.” Saifah teased his brother.

“Don’t annoy me” Payu retorted. Rain sat working diligently and had snacks, milk cartons and water bottles spread around him. The younger twin came out to meet the older one and was loudly accusing him of hurting Rain. Payu just punched him in the arm in retaliation. Saifah laughed and continued to tease his brother. Payu didn’t hesitate to warn Saifah. “Whatever you intend to teach the kid don’t be too cruel that he runs away.” Saifah didn’t understand why Payu wanted to stop Rain from visiting the workshop and he wanted to know why. His brother explained that Rain spent more time in the workshop than in the faculty. So Payu was trying to stop him from going astray, but Saifah was still puzzled when saw Payu with a smile on his face. “What’s the smile about?” He nervously asked Payu.

“If the kid was a coward” Payu started to explain. “I probably wouldn’t have chosen him.”

“Don’t tell me...” Saifah gasped as he looked at his brother who was patting his shoulder.

“Well bro” Payu said confidently. “I am pretty sure that I chose the right person. I am sure Rain will not disappoint me.” Payu walked away leaving his twin with his mouth wide open and scratching his head.

“Did my brother know that this boy would be coming?” He questioned. He shook his head; there was no way he knew. But Saifah knew that his brother and his temperament would need an unyielding person. He needed someone who would not be intimidated by him and run away.