Take Me Home

"Sienna!" Mother Entralia's voice thundered as her steps grew louder and louder.  She got home from work when she was bombarded with three unexpected visitors. Two men and a woman. The man in uniform is an official from the village and the other one is the driver who almost hit my fragile body. A woman with him was all but worried in her eyes when she checked me.  I wasn't hit, alright, but I fell on my knees right before the truck touched my body. My arms were bruised and they were immediately mended by the woman in her forties. Fortunately, they've got loads of medical supplies inside their trucks.  I ran to my room after seeing my mother's  almost strangling face. I waited for the people outside to inform her about what happened and expected that she would be calling my name loudly. Although I am used to it, I am still not comfortable with whatever she has to say.  She opened the door angrily that it almost broke the picture frames I glued behind it.  "Mother—"  "That friend will be the one to kill you if you keep on visiting her!" She spat. Her chest was moving fast.  "Mother! Empire is a good friend! And she never hurt  me-"  "Never hurt you, Sienna?! Look at you! Look at that bandage in your arms! Aren't you hurt?!"  I looked down my arms. The red line of blood is evident on the bandages. I can feel the uneven pulsation underneath but I shrugged it off so she wouldn't come up to an idea that again, she is  right.  "Mother, Empire is not the truck! The truck...the truck hurt me, Empire is a good friend. She's..." I stopped, she raised her eyebrows. It's like she knew that she's not buying my reasons. Like she already knew that I understood her. That I know where these arguments will lead me to.  I looked down at my feet as I thought of other holes to say. Convincing myself that she's not winning again because as I think rapidly, the conclusion always ends up to her point.  That if I don't step out of the house, and visit Empire, I wouldn't be hit by a truck or encounter more dangerous accidents. If I didn't visit Empire, I would have remained unharmed in my room. The truck may have hurt me and not my friend but it just always ends with that! I lost again.  "I know what you're thinking, Sienna. You're never winning against me." She said, her eyes still fixed on my arms, narrowly.  "Fix yourself, come down after I'm done talking with the people you disturbed."  She closed the door and left me with my favourite picture glued behind my door. The boy in the picture stared strangely at me. His hazel eyes reflect the sadness in mine.  If you are only alive...  I fixed myself, removed my dress and took a shower carefully. I can feel the aching of the scratches in my arms as I clean it with warm water.  I am used to seeing my mother that angry. There were times when fire almost went out of her mouth after she found out that I sneak out again to visit an old friend. She would always remind me that friends will never do good for me. Well, she was right. I had Jesse, Patti and Stirla before Empire, and like what mother said, they never did good to me.  Right after my mother finds out who my friends are, she would lock me in my room for days and when it's time for me to visit my dear friends, they would suddenly just cut me off their lives like I never really became a part of them. Like I never existed in their world. Jesse said she couldn't play with me anymore because she will be having a trip to who knows where, and she never came back. I could see how Patti's mother never really liked me, Patti reasoned out that she should stop meeting me because her mother might be angry.  I thought of that reason lamely because if I have a good friend, I would always fight against the world for her but I understood that maybe, Patti was just afraid of her mom. Stirla was a good friend, I thought that she would be the last that I am going to have but I was wrong, we were playing with wild animal toys when she threw me accusations of stealing which I didn't understand.  "I'm never gonna play with you again! You are a thief! Now I understand why you don't have friends!" She accused me.  I was hurt. I couldn't believe she just said it without evidence. I was so young and I was scared back then. I couldn't tell my mother about it because I knew that she would just be angry. I knew that she would just ask me again to lock myself in my room. So I kept Stirla a secret. Since then, I never wanted to have a friend.  But then Empire came. Her dark hair is so smooth and her smile was genuine. She was strolling around the village with her dog when she looked up at my room and smiled. The thin glass of my window didn't stop her from staring. I opened it and smiled, I waved at her. She smiled back widely and directed me to come down. That was the start of our friendship. Empire is the longest friend I have even now that I'm eleven. Mother is quite busy these past few years that it took a long time for her to know that I've got another one.  She blurted out her anger the first time she knew about Empire but an emergency happened at work so she was left with no choice but to let me cherish what I have. Only with words that my mind couldn't get rid off.  "Friends are no good for you, Sienna. Don't come running down my knees and say I was right, now that you have a choice, to stop your stupid communication with her or continue to keep worthless people in your life." I close my eyes, feeling the tiny clips in my Prussian blue hair. I came back to my senses after hearing three soft knocks on my room's door.  "Dear, you may come out now. The people are gone. What's taking you so long?" My mother whispered. The change in her atmosphere told me that she has done something so good for herself. One smooth touch of my hair and I was ready to open my door for her.  She knew that I was a shrinking violet. If I have friends, I would talk to them endlessly but If I face strangers, I couldn't keep up with them. I can't face them and look at their eyes straight. I am just not used to being in the middle of concerned faces because that's what she wanted me to be.  "Are you alright?" Her worried face was very different from what she had just shown me a while ago.  I nodded. She pulled my hands and embraced me tightly like what she always does when she just got home from work for a long time.  Her longest working times could sometimes extend to months. She said her work has something to do with fights. I could see her as a brave soldier disguised to be my mother, that was when...I was a child.  "I'm sorry if I made you wait for too long, darling. I had to...fix something in...in my work!"  I didn't look at her. I know, mother... The rain didn't stop falling harshly the next day when mother had to leave for work again. She left me with food that's good for two weeks and told me that she will not be going home too soon.  I let out a loud sigh and hugged my body under the soft blanket I have ever since I was eight.  I missed Empire, but I miss that little boy glued to my door.  I let out a frustrated sigh and decided to stand up. I wake on my feet lazily and take it with me as I laid back to the comfort of my bed.  He had the forest in his eyes. One I always love to have.  We just stared at each other until I decided to bring his eyes to where my heart wanted to be that exact moment, in my dreams.  I woke up feeling a bit excited because I am going to see Empire again after three days! I miss talking and playing with her.  First things first is cook my own breakfast and fix myself. I was all smiles when I got to see a glimpse of Empire in her room. I blurted out soft knocks on their house's door and was surprised to see Stirla at the back of Empire's mother.  Stirla looked at me with her eyebrows raised. It's like asking me why I am here.  Mrs Calverta cleared her throat and made me look at her. I sighed and smiled. She looked at me with disgust and closed the door halfway, enough for me to see her.  "Good morning, Mrs. Calverta! I wonder if Empire is inside and I do expect that she's waiting for me to visit..." My smile was friendly and wide but I didn't receive that same reaction from my best friend's mother.  "How dare you befriend Empire after accusing her of something she couldn't do!" She whispered angrily. My forehead creased.  "Get lost, child! Don't ever come near my family! You are a black panther that destroys everyone who gets near you and sees you!"  I couldn't look at her. My mind was building up so many ideas of what could possibly happen. I wanted to ask her what was wrong. I wanted to talk with Empire, but the disgust in the face of her mother told me that I shouldn't be right where I was. I shouldn't have existed.  She closed the door loudly between us. I looked down at my feet as tears stung my eyes.  One step backwards, one deep and loud breath and I decided to gather my strength. Why would I walk out like I am really guilty of something I didn't even have an idea of. Why would I cry for something oblivious?  Mother was right. They never will ever do good for me. I have given them the purest of my heart, I didn't wish for anything in return, but why do I keep on receiving ugly stares and painful words from them? My mother... She's the only one who knows everything about life and I should never try to disobey her again.  I ran back to our home and fought for the safety, peace and comfort in my heart amidst the painful words that still kept running in my head.