The Crush

The Ride Home

Lathan was there. That means Lathan is Fortmann. I walked back to the car, my group of friends slowly in a daze. Jordan, for some reason, looked very annoyed with me.

“Winter, really?” Jordan whispered in my ear.

I smiled. Jordan probably wanted tonight to be all about her and Marcus. I looked to see Lathan with his friends playing around and laughing, but his eyes were trained on me.

I honestly felt bad that I hadn’t shared the fact Lathan and I have been talking lately. I feel like I am betraying my friendship with Jordan. We share everything. There isn’t a secret she doesn’t know about me, and here I am, keeping the best and most wonderful secret from her. I am a horrible best friend. I will tell her soon. I know that the sooner I tell, the more real it feels, and I want it to still be a fun fantasy. I don’t want to share Lathan yet. I gave Winter one last hug and followed Alex to my car.

I hate that I lost the bowling game. And I was so annoyed that I babysat Alex. However, I am glad I got to see Lathan. I would gladly celebrate this fact if Alex weren’t still looking like Oscar the Grouch.

Since day one, he has been so focused on intertwining himself in my life, trying so hard to be my friend, and now I can’t get him to look at me. Is this the same guy that signed up for every club I was in? Is this the guy who told me he wanted to be my friend so badly? He even became friends with my best friend to get into my circle. Don’t think for a second I didn’t notice how he arranged for us to go to the bowling alley together. I want to know why. Why did he want us to go together if he is acting like he is annoyed by me? I mean, we are not together, but we came together.

“What is wrong with you?” I asked. Alex, who focused the whole time on driving, said nothing. “Alex! Answer me! What is going on with you?” Alex looked in the rearview mirror before taking a sharp turn to the right, off the road. I held on tightly to my seatbelt. He is crazy. “Alex, what is wrong with you? You wanted to be my friend so badly, but now you’re ignoring me. What did I do?”

Alex took a deep breath and ended it with a big sigh. “You did nothing.” He sounded nervous. This was the first time I heard a trimmer in his voice. He had always sounded so confident, and now he said as if he is about to confess something profound. I adjusted myself on the seat to face him. “Then tell me what is wrong.” Alex couldn’t look me in the eyes. “Why did you agree to come with me, Winter?”

I thought about that myself. Yes, I wanted to make sure Jordan had a good time, but I could have turned down the favor at once I found out Alex was part of the mix. Sure, I was annoyed by the introduction of the second part of the deal, but not enough to turn it down. Alex’s question has stirred up other questions I was unsure I had, nor did I have the answers to.

“I went because Jordan wanted me to keep her company on her date with Marcus. Why did you come?” Alex combed his hair with his hand, then looked me in the eyes. “Because I knew you would be there.”

“What do you mean?”

Alex grinned, “You know what I mean, Winter.”

“Tell me,” I demanded.

Alex turned to me with a strained face. “Why? Why do you care, Winter? Since day one, you have made it very clear that you want nothing to do with me, and now you want me to spill my heart out for you to step on. Don’t think for a second, Winter; I didn’t know how annoyed you were at the fact I was tagging along. We all get it! You don’t like me, Winter.”

“I never told you that I didn’t like you.”

“You don’t have to tell me. We can all see it, but you never gave me a shot.”

I could not believe what he was saying. “I’m here! You’re driving my car. That has to count for something.”

Alex stopped the car and turned to me. “Yeah, you love your best friend. You are an excellent friend. No one will accuse you of less Winter.”

I couldn’t believe what he was saying. Sure, I preferred him not to be in my space all the time, but I have never been mean to him. I have never told him to stay away from me. He is acting as if I’m a terrible person. When it was the other way around. He is the one that has been showing me up in all our classes. He is the one that tries to outdo me every chance he can, and yet he wants to be my friend.

I couldn't believe what he was saying. I lost it. “You have your nerve. I can’t believe you. You’ve been acting like a jerk to me, but I am the mean one.”

“When?” Alex said in shock.

“All the time. You’re always trying to outshine me in everything I do, but I am the mean one.”

“When?”

“In math class. The yearbook committee meeting.”

“Is that what you think?”

How is anyone supposed to know what Alex is thinking? He is constantly talking and throwing his obnoxious attitude in everyone’s faces. Everyone seems to be impressed by him, but I am not.

I took a deep breath and tried to say calmly, “Please, drive, Alex.”

Alex turned his body back around and turned on the car. We drove in silence. Alex’s face seemed tense. I wanted to tell Alex I did not hate him and was just worried about him because he seemed off. I don’t hate him.

Alex pulled up to his house. “Here are your keys.” His voice had no life in it. “Get home safe,” Alex said, looking my way but not looking at me. “Wait,” I said, holding his arm before he stepped out of the car. “Alex, we should talk.” Alex sat back in the driver’s seat and faced me. “Winter, I don’t want to argue anymore. I will keep my distance from now on. I’m sorry if you felt I was trying to outshine you. I was not trying to.” He attempted to get up again, but I stopped him. “Alex, please.” I pleaded with sincerity. He looked at me.

“I just wanted to know why you wanted to be my friend, and the first chance of us being able to hang out, you acted as if you didn’t want to hang out with me. The truth is, I was worried about you. Maybe I have done something. I promise I am not a mean person.”

Alex looked at me in disbelief. “You believe I don’t want to be here with you? I was trying so hard not to annoy you. I didn’t want to get on your bad side. I wasn’t mad at you. I was…”

“You were what?”

Alex hung his head low. “I was…I get nervous around you. I try to impress you, and you take it as me showing out.”

I smiled his way and placed my hand on his hand. "Alex, I don't hate you. I want us to be friends."

Alex opened the door and walked to the other side to open my door. I walked out, and he hugged me tightly. "Friends."