Alsina is My Weakness

Chapter Five: I See New Orleans

Weight loss. Hair loss. Sensitivity to light. Headaches. Red rashes. Major depression. Anemia. Malaise.

Those are only some of the symptoms. It is extremely hard to detect because it's symptoms mimic other diseases. The symptoms are also able to come and go.

Luckily, I'm only exhibiting two of these symptoms.

It's said to be more common in women of color. Predominantly affecting females aged fifteen to forty-five.

It is an inflammatory disease in which the immune systems attacks it's organs.

The cause of this is not known.

It has the potential to be fatal but it depends on how severe the case is.

The more severe, it is more likely to cause premature death.

It is not related to cancer but it does greatly increase the risk of cancer.

Sadly, there is no cure.

I have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

It is a part of me now.

I suppose it's time to recite our vows.

I hope when it gets me alone, it doesn't try to kill me.

Married to an aggressor who murders if it gets the upper hand.

I have Lupus.

http://www.lupusresearchinstitute.org

Wednesday

6pm

The day was very windy. I sat in my living room sipping on blueberry tea, watching autumn leaves silently swirling around in the wind.

Autumn is finally displaying it's presence.

I reached over to my coffee table and picked up the writing prompt I had to do for homework.

I read it over:

Write a short story (20-25 sentences) using only words with one syllable.

I placed the paper back down on my table and thought about what I was going to write.

A few minutes passed and I had no ideas as to what I would write about. I concluded that I simply needed inspiration.

So I resorted to calling August.

I wasn't sure if he was busy or not but I really wanted to hear his voice.

It's been a little over a week since I last saw him.

After a few rings he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi August. Are you busy?"

"Nah. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you.", I said lowly.

"I miss you too. I was gonna call you but I didn't know when you'd be free.", he said.

I stayed silent for a moment. I noticed it was extremely quiet on his end.

"Are you home August?"

"Yeah. I had an off day.", he said.

"Oh, what'd you do today?", I asked him.

"I slept all day. It's raining here in Atlanta and it got me sleepy.", he said.

"I'm glad you got a chance to rest.", I told him.

"Yeah...what about you? What'd you do?", he asked me.

"I had classes and now I'm home. I didn't do much today.", I said lowly.

"Are you good? You sound like you need me there with you.", he said.

I smiled slightly. "As much as I would love to be with you right now, you should enjoy the rest of your off day. I know you don't get many of those August."

He remained silent.

"Have a good night August. I love you.", I said to him.

"I love you too. Goodnight."

With that, I hung up and laid back on my couch. I miss him terribly already.

I directed my attention to my window. I have a penchant for celestial imagery. I often gaze at the skyline, waiting for it to tell me stories. It never fails to amaze me.

I watched as the sky darkened and rain began to fall gracefully. I continued to watch as it began to rain harder.

I wasn't surprised. I'm starting to associate August with rain.

I admit that it sounds crazy, but it sounds crazy because it is.

Back in New Orleans, whenever we were together, it rained. It rained violently. Just like it is now.

The five years I was away from him, it didn't rain like this at all. Not even once.

There is nothing normal about my relationship with him, I'm starting to figure that out.

We never argued, not once.

Every time I'm with him, it's like the first time all over again.

I remember everything he's ever said to me, word for word.

I have a sentimental attachment to him. He represents not only his life but mine. I often look at him and see New Orleans. I hear his voice, and I hear New Orleans.

I sometimes try to run from the memories New Orleans embedded in my head. But I can't escape the bad memories without also leaving the good ones behind.

But when I look at August, I see it all. I see New Orleans.

I will always be that little southern church girl.

The girl that constantly wore dresses and wrote poetry.

The girl that the older native folks called Ms. May Anna-lee.

I snapped out of my thoughts and reached for my medication on my inn-table. I took two pills and chased it down with water.

I then started on my writing assignment.

After only a few minutes, I began to feel drowsy.

I felt myself drifting slowly, silently.

...

9pm

I awoke from a three hour nap to hear knocking at my door and rain still falling violently.

I walked over to my door slowly. I still felt a tad bit drowsy.

I opened my door and no one was there. I guess I just imagined it. I was drowsy, it wasn't uncommon for me to slightly hallucinate.

As I tried to close the door, something seemed to be stopping it.

I opened my door again to see a man that must've been out of his mind because he got on a plane just to come see me for a couple of hours.

I let him in, he was drenched.

"August what are you doing here?", I said staring up at him.

He said nothing, he only smiled slightly.

I smiled then hugged him tightly.

"You're so damn crazy August. I swear you're losing your mind."

I looked up at him and he kissed me.

"You should get out of those clothes. They're wet. Especially your shirt. You left a shirt here, you can put that on."

I went in my room to retrieve his shirt, I then gave it to him and took his wet shirt.

"I'll go put this in the dryer. ", I said to him.

When I returned August was reading my writing assignment. He's so nosey.

I walked over to him and watched him read it. In my peripheral vision, I could see that I still had my medication on the inn table.

I quickly reached for it and slid it under my couch without August noticing.

I planned to tell August that I had Lupus, just not yet. I feel as if it'd be a burden on him. I don't want to stress him with any of my problems.

"This is good.", he said placing it back on the table.

"I'm not finished yet, but thank you.", I said.

"What's that for?"

"My creative writing class."

He nodded.

I looked at him for a bit, and then I hugged him. I couldn't help it.

"I really really missed you August."

"I know, that's why I'm here.", he said.

I smiled and held on to him in silence.

August is as regal as they come.

He is king to me.

I feel power.

I see strength.

In him, hope is still alive.

In him, love is still alive.

In him, I see home.

In him, I see New Orleans.