Becoming Luna

4 ~ One More Chance?

Siena sits quietly in a hammock hanging between two sturdy trees in the backyard. It’s been four days since Andrew has left and he has yet to return.

The cheating pains brought Siena to her knees with incredibly relentless and merciless pain, but what truly broke her was how long and how often the excruciating spasms happened since the first one.

She barely gets several minutes from him whenever she and Andrew are doing it, yet he lasts so much more with this b*tch he just met!? And the frequency! She’d stopped counting after the first three, and just stayed in bed sobbing quietly, waiting for the onslaught of pain to be over. Locking herself in their room, she bit her lips and screamed into her pillow so no one would hear her private pain. So no one would guess the reason that is causing her so much hurt and shame.

Every now and then, someone would knock on the door and check on her and she’d pretend she was sleeping or was in the bathroom. And then the pain would resume and she’d be in hell once more, bearing it all in silence.

It even happened while she was in the bathroom, taking a shower and that's when she found out by accident that ice-cold running water helps numb the pain to something bearable so by the third day, she is constantly running the shower, past caring about the bill that would arrive next month.

Andrew can pay for it with his own money and explain to the budget committee why his mate needed to shower the whole day.

She could have left already but she wanted to end things properly with Andrew without the need to see him in her safe place, which is her old home. Her bags are packed, what little possession she has, at least, so she can go back to the empty cottage she used to share with her parents when they were still alive.

She’s expecting said Alpha’s son and heir to break the bond now, as soon as he comes home. If he didn’t, she would do it herself, because honestly, how do they even go from here? How will she embrace him again and not smell the b*tch’s scent on his skin? Kiss him without noticing the other girl’s taste on his mouth? How can she lie with him again and ignore the memories of the cheating pains?

She loves him but…cheating is not a mistake. It is a choice. And he chose to hurt her over and over again. Why did he even save her from the rogue, if he was going to do this to her anyway? Death by the rogue’s rabies would have been more dignified and quicker than this slow torture.

“Sisi?”

He’s back.

She doesn’t respond.

His steps are cautious, as if wary of how a wounded beast would react to sudden approach. However, Siena is quite calm. She has had time to think about it and she knows there’s no need for her to shout or raise her voice. He knows exactly what he has done.

He finally steps into her line of vision, before stopping right in front of her, blocking her view of the wheatfields and the beautiful sunset. Not that she’s actually seeing them, but still…

He kneels in front of her when she still doesn’t answer. “Siena, please don’t leave me…”

She closes her eyes and a tear slides down her left cheek. Of all the things she has been expecting to hear, those were the last ones. She was waiting for defensiveness. Even blame. She was even prepared for the immediate breaking of the bond.

Not this.

Not the broken sound of his voice, begging her not to leave him.

“I know I’ve hurt you and I don’t blame you for being angry, you must have been in a lot of pain. I was so drunk, and there must have been something in my drink that numbed my brain—I…I don’t know... When I woke up, I can barely remember where I was or how I got there. I’m so sorry. I swear, I don’t know what happened…But just give me another chance, Sisi! I promise I won't ever let it happen again.”

He tries to take her hand but she pulls away, feeling as if his touch burns her skin, but not in a good way. This is what she’s afraid of. This feeling of repugnance that she can’t help but experience when he touches her.

“Siena, please…I love you, you know that.”

“It didn’t feel like that last night.”

“Last night wasn’t me!” He growls, before closing his eyes, trying to speak more calmly and not lose control. “I was not aware of what was happening, I had no control over my own body! Siena, please believe me. It’s you I love, you I want to be with for the rest of my life—!”

His mind might have been drugged, as he claims but oddly enough his damn c0ck seemed to know exactly what it wanted and needed to do to the other she-wolf.

“Andrew, let’s just get this over with—”

“Do you know why I am becoming the new Alpha!? Why my father agreed it was time for me to take over? Because of you! I became strong enough to defy him, even beat him… because I know that having you as my Luna is all I need to become the best version of myself. I know that you will be the best Luna this pack will ever have, and I am doing whatever I can to be worthy of you! Please, please…don’t throw us away…”

She stares at him in shock, not really knowing what to say or how to react. All this time, she was struggling in private, trying to find ways to be worthy of him…not knowing that he’s having the same struggles.

He seems to take her silence as disbelief so he stands up and paces around, trying to think. “I will do whatever it takes to prove it! To prove to you that I intend to keep my promise.” His eyes lighten up as he comes up with something and he kneels down before her again. “You will be my life insurance beneficiary, effective immediately.”

“What!?”

“You’re entitled to it anyway, as my mate when I become the Alpha, but I’m just making it happen faster. You will also be my legal heir… for my personal inheritance… and—and I will grant you full control over the pack’s finances once we’re the official Alpha and Luna. Do what you will, no questions asked, once you are my Luna—”

“You’re buying me back!?” She snaps, suddenly offended and furious. “You think I’m that shallow that money will fix everything!? It wasn’t enough that you made me feel so worthless when you cheated on me multiple times, you’re trying to bribe me now, like a common wh0re!?”

“NO!” He stands up, his face red from both impatience and frustration. “Goddess above, it’s not like that! Nothing like that at all!” He pulls at his hair, before rubbing his face with both hands. “Can’t you see!? I'm not just offering you money, Sisi! I'm giving you what that money represents! I am trying to put my life…my future and that of my pack into your hands! At your mercy! Because everything I have done so far, it was all for you! For us! Because there’s no one else I’d rather lead the pack with than you. Please…”

She stares at him for a long time.

Andrew seems to have finally run out of words and has now resigned himself to wait for her decision after baring his soul to her.

Siena doesn’t know what truly happened out there, but right here, right now, this is Drew. Her Andrew.

She has known him forever and she knows he doesn’t play around, even though he could. This is the guy who saved her from the rogue and stood by her side during the long hospital stay. The man who defied his own parents and the pack’s advisors, and fought for her to remain his Luna despite her missing limb.

This is Andrew… the love of her life. Her fated mate and her future alpha. He never claimed to be perfect, only that he loves her very much that he is willingly on his knees, begging… pleading for one more chance.

Who is she to say no?

She stares at her leg. The one that should have been there. Despite not being there anymore, somehow it still pains her. Andrew claims he wasn’t truly present during the cheating but it will haunt them forever, like their very own mutual phantom pain.

Does she love him enough to willingly go through that? Will time ever heal this wound? She certainly isn’t the first woman to ever be betrayed. Others have gone through it, some had forgiven and given another chance, and in the end, they succeeded to move past the pain. They were able to rebuild. Maybe… if they can do it, she can too.

She has the ball in her court now. Forgiving and moving on shouldn't be that difficult. He even apologized and explained, and swore it will never happen again, and he is practically handing her the reins over the pack's finances.

With access to those accounts she can do so much and proceed with her projects more quickly.

She can finally, truly, make a difference in the pack’s life.

“I’m probably going to regret this but…” Siena sighs. “Very well… I’ll still be your Luna.”