Becoming Luna

12 - Broken Beyond Repair part 3

She sits beside the bed, careful not to disturb the cords or monitors.

“They told me Axel doesn’t seem to be helping you heal and they sent me here to do something about it,” she murmurs. “As if there’s something I can do about it, after the stunt we both pulled.” She takes a deep breath, but it does nothing to soothe her. “What happened to us, Andrew?”

No response, of course, not that she’s really expecting any.

With a heavy heart, she reaches for his hand, needing the connection…the familiarity of the fated bond. To her shock, Andrew opens his eyes, however, the color is wrong. Instead of his usual blue irises, his eyes are coffee colored, with a hint of red.

He doesn’t look angry but he says nothing, not that he can, with the breathing tube in his mouth, but Siena recognizes Andrew’s wolf anyway. Her own wolf whimpers in response to her mate’s presence.

“Axel?” She tightens her grip and leans closer to look into his eyes.

Her heart breaks when she sees the pain in his, the infinite sadness in knowing they have lost something good and unfortunately, there is no going back.

“I’m sorry…” she whispers, without even thinking about it. “I know it doesn’t make things better but I want you to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you too last night.”

He blinks slowly, as if to say the same.

“I was so angry and insulted… and to be honest, terribly unwanted. I wasn’t thinking straight…” she sobs, feeling the hurt resurfacing. “I thought making Andrew feel the same pain would make me feel better but it doesn’t. It still hurts.”

He remains silent, but she knows he is listening…and that he understands.

She wipes away her tears with the back of her hand. “I know there’s no going back for us, Axel…but the pack needs you…and Andrew. We forgot about our people when we betrayed one another but now it’s time to remember our sacred duty to them. I probably have no right to ask you for anything now but…please…for their sake, will you help Andrew heal?”

Axel blinks slowly, and Siena gasps when he mindlinks her.

“No matter what happens, even if I should be forced to mark another, you will always be my Luna.”

Fresh tears well up in her eyes, as he gazes at her fondly for a few more seconds before closing his eyes again. Opal whimpers inside her, a wordless farewell to her fated mate.

And somehow, Siena knows.

Andrew will be all right. Already Axel is hard at work, and his human’s complexion has started to improve as the shallow wounds heal right before her very eyes. She watches in wonder as little by little his overall appearance improves, as if she’s watching a time-lapse, and his bruises are gone in just a matter of seconds.

This is the power of the sacred beast. One in the body of a human with alpha blood.

Siena knows that when he opens his eyes again, those irises will be blue once more. She stands up, knowing she has done what she could and that it’s time to leave.

However, before she could go, Andrew calls her name through mind, stopping her in her tracks.

“Sisi..?”

Slowly, she turns to face him. He is now looking at her with his familiar blue eyes, and she sighs as she sits beside his bed again.

What a complicated thing, love is. It should have been easy to fall out of love, given the number of times he cheated on her. Not to mention the other disappointing aspects of their relationship. However, just because she’s furious at him for his betrayal doesn’t mean her feelings for him can be easily dismissed. Proof of that is how, despite Xander being an excellent lover, she’s here feeling rather dirty…unworthy. Her own guilt is unforgiving, an invisible weight pressing on her chest.

Like the cursed pirates with the stolen chest of gold, no matter how much she drinks, the thirst remains. No matter how abundant the feast, her hunger is never satisfied. No matter how many times Xander brought her to her peak, her lust could not be sated. Probably because a part of her still pines quietly for the mate given to her by the Moon Goddess.

Her wolf, Opal, refuses to be an accomplice and Siena, unfortunately, is only part of a whole.

“Yes, I’m here…” she whispers. “How are you feeling?”

“Wretched,” he replies, groaning as he tries to move but fails. “What happened?”

Siena frowns. Does he not remember? Has he truly forgotten what just recently happened? A part of her seethes with resentment, while the other feels guilty relief.

“You tell me,” she tells him, her voice a little wary. “What’s the last thing you do remember?”

“Uhh… I was at the packhouse with my parents…we were having dinner with Alpha Turner and his family. They arrived early for the alpha ceremony and Mother invited them to dine with us…” Andrew frowns, forcing himself to concentrate. “They were about to serve dessert…but all of a sudden, it felt like someone was punching me in the stomach, and then my insides were being clawed and my guts pulled out in the open. I tried to keep it to myself at first but it was getting worse and worse…and I fell to the floor, writhing in pain. Everyone present witnessed it…” He opens his eyes and stares at her, guilty and stricken. “Were you…assaulted?”

She shakes her head. “Not at all…”

Relief takes the place of his guilt, mixed with a little bit of disbelief and anger. “Do you realize what you've done!?”

“I could ask the same thing of you.” She raises an eyebrow, and he looks away, unable to hold her gaze. “I wouldn’t have done it, if you hadn’t broken your promise, you know.”

“Siena—”

“Believe it or not, I never planned on taking a lover just to get even with you for the first time you cheated on me. It was pure dumb luck that I met someone right after you betrayed me the second time around.” She frowns. “How did you end up in a car accident, if you were at dinner when it happened?”

He glares stubbornly at the wall, before closing his eyes again and answering glumly. “T-There was a reprieve… I-I wasn't thinking clearly and I was upset—I thought for sure that you have been assaulted, and I guess I went a little crazy. I took my car…determined to come find you—but the pains hit me again soon after and I lost control of the car…” he looks at her again, frowning. “I never thought you had it in you…do you even know him or was it a perfect stranger?”

“I don’t think it’s any of your business anymore, Andrew,” she tells him coldly, irked by his accusing tone. “You forfeited your right to any of my business when you broke your promise to me.”

She meets his eyes and refuses to look away in shame. Xander might have been right that she was a little drunk last night but she knew what she was doing all along. She had wanted Andrew to know what it felt like.

While it is true that she regrets what she has done with Xander, she refuses to forget the reason why. Andrew cheated on her first, and then a second time around, knowing she would feel it and get hurt. He did it anyway, despite his promise of never letting it happen again. Siena had apologized to Axel, instinctively knowing the spirit wolf was not a willing participant, but frankly, she’s not so sure Andrew deserves the same courtesy.

If anyone should avert their eyes, it’s not her. Or at the very least, she shouldn’t be the first one to lower her gaze.

Andrew probably realizes what she’s thinking and he blinks a few times before looking away in resignation.

“I guess I deserve that…” he tells her, and she closes her eyes in defeat.

Siena will never admit it, but up until the last minute, she was hoping he would deny breaking his promise. That he has another explanation. A reason—or an excuse, just like the one he had before. Not that it would change her mind about breaking up with him, but it would give them some sort of closure.

“Is it even the same girl?” she asks him, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

“Yes, of course!” He sounds almost insulted. “…the one I met from Alpha Turner's territory. She came with them yesterday, bearing news. She told me that she’s with child…she’s carrying my pup.”

Siena previously thought things couldn’t possibly get worse. She was wrong. He was ready to leave her, then. He had cast her aside like yesterday’s newspaper as soon as he found out about his pup. Despite knowing the cheating pains would hurt her, he didn’t even have the courtesy to wait for her to come home so they could reject each other first.

Whoever the other girl is, he wanted her too. He probably wasn’t even truly drugged, the first time. Not only did he cheat, he lied to Siena too.

This just confirmed it. They were broken beyond repair.

She swallows, painfully, as she blinks away her tears. “I see…” she whispers. “You couldn’t wait until we’ve rejected each other first?”

“I’m sorry, Siena…it all happened so fast—”

She bet it did, she wanted to say tartly, but bit her tongue. Not much point insulting him now, and she already knows swiping back at him is not going to make things any better.

So, as she doesn’t have anything good to say, she says nothing. The beeping machines and the low hum of the air-conditioning are the only sounds that can be heard for several interminable minutes.

There’s nothing left to say. Nothing more for her here.

She stands up.

“Sisi…”

“Congratulations on becoming a father soon, Andrew,” she tells him quietly, keeping her tone detached. Later, she will cry. Mourn properly for a future that ended before it could even start. Right now, she needs to focus on pulling herself together and making it back home.

He doesn’t deserve to see her grieve. Not will he see her fall…or rise again…and heal.

“Sisi, I tried… I tried to make it work between us—”

She nods, and the action feels almost mechanical. “I know.”

“Wait, what about—”

“I will see you at the alpha ceremony to accept the rejection of the fated bond.” She pushes the button that will call the nurse in and leaves the room without looking back.