Crimson Haze

Friendship

Sadly this Angel hasn't always been my friend eventhough I’ve known her since kindergarten, her and a lot of the other children would call me names like "Raggedy Ann" or they'd get real creative and treat me like a disease ridden outcast. Then out of nowhere in third grade I was being bullied as usual some girl was pulling my hair and another was calling me a soul less ginger. I could hear nothing but laughter and mockery and then screaming I wipe my tears away to look around and see Janelle hitting the girl that was pulling my hair. She stood over the girl clenches her fist and challenged anyone who wanted to make fun of me everyone looked down and ran away. It was truly a miracle, ever since then Janelle has been the greatest thing to happen in my life next to my sister. That is until my sister betrayed me now Janelle is really the only thing left.

I opened the door as fast as my foggy mind would allow, she rushes to hug me “Oh my gosh I knew you were here, I’ve been calling you all night.” Before I can even open my mouth to say anything she runs to her car opens it briefly and brings back two cups of coffee from my favorite Café as she goes to hand over my cup I look at the Novella Café logo as if it’s the Holy Grail coming to save my sleepless nights.

I rub my eyes and thank her for her kindness. I can feel Janelles' eyes on me, I look at her waiting for her to ask me reluctantly what she obviously craves an answer for, to quench her insatiable thirst for curiosity, but she says nothing. This is unusual for her, she’s usually the outspoken no filter type of person.

I suppose she always tries take my feelings into consideration, considering my past... let's just say endeavors. A few sips of my caramel nectar later she finally ask “sooo..” with her perfectly shaped dark brown eyebrows raised in curiosity. I look at her with pressed lips and raised eyebrows looking over the steam of coffee. I laugh “ took you longer than I expected.. go ahead ask away.” She smiles with concern “ I just wanted to make sure that you are.. okay.” I know she wants more details after my boyfriend and I had abruptly ended our relationship of two years, after I found him cheating on me with my sister.

I want to tell her I’m broken, I can’t breathe, how can I trust anyone again. If I couldn’t trust my own sister then who could I trust. I shake off these thoughts and look at her with a forced smile on my pale face and tears fill my eyes. I start to look up to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. Janelle grabs my hand, her hand is surprisingly calming. " Hey it's okay I'm hear for you just tell me what you feel comfortable talking about... I'm right here for you". So I take a deep breath and my feelings just start pouring out a few words escaping through the tears and my hyperventilating breathes“I don't understand what happened… why…..what did I do to her…. I thought he loved me... I thought she loved me.” I try to collect my words I hear Janelle sternly say “Annie please.. take a deep breath and explain to me what happened.” As I hold on to her hand I desperately want to let go and just run away from this reality and end everything.

I take a few breathes as images of them together emerge. "I wanted to go home early because I was starting to feel a migraine coming on...." Janelle consistently rubs her thumbs over my hands. In all honesty I didn't want anyone to touch me, I felt nothing but disgust with myself and even my friends soothing embrace so I pulled my hands away and grabbed onto my cup of coffee focusing on the steam to continued on. "When I got home saw Blakes' bike in the driveway so of course I ran to the front door assuming he was there to surprise me.... " I let out a painful laugh through my uncontrollable tears "I guess he did surprise me...." I begin fidgeting with my coffee cup. "I started to open the front door I could hear moaning. I backed out of the door and started looking in the driveway again to see if my parents were there... but they weren't I walked back in and the noises continued upstairs so I stupidly decided to go see what was happening."

I started to softly rub my hair back to help sooth myself from having a panic attack cleared my throat and forced myself to relive this.. this nightmare. "The noises were coming from Angels' room the door was cracked so I peeked inside and..." each word was beginning to feel like knifes each breath like an electric current in my lungs "I saw Angel top less jumping up and down and then the door creaked she turns around and then I.....saw Blake raise out of the bed with her."

I couldn't speak anymore the pain was to unbearable "it's ok Annie you don't need to say anymore." Janelle wipes away her tears and holds onto me while I lose myself in my pain.