It’s never that easy

Chapter Eleven

After a very long, dragging week, it had finally turned into the day I was dreading. Friday. Not many people would say that but it was for me. This morning, was very hard for me. Knowing Mark would be leaving for Spain at dinner time. He did text me to ask one more time if I wanted to go with him, which I still said no. We said bye, I told him to have a safe trip and to have some pleasure too, as well as his business time. I can’t have all the fun, can I? Yeah it was sad to say bye to him but I can’t let it drag me down. That was the whole point of me turning him down so that I could live a little before tying myself down to someone.

That’s why I am looking forward to this engagement party. I can let my hair down and not care what people think. It’s my time to be adventurous for once. We arrived at the party by ten, an hour after it started, no one ever turns up early.

“Hey.”

“Hey, congrats again. I’m so happy for you both.”

“Thanks Keira. It means a lot to us.”

“Good. Now let’s party!”

“Right on. You look amazing by the way.”

“Why thank you.”

“Will you be alright?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, we have invited Jamie and I know you two haven’t spoken in a while.”

“Yeah I will be fine. It’s all been put behind me. I’m here to have fun, not to dwell on the past.”

“Okay then.”

“Wow! Look at all the amazing costumes,” Gemma said excitedly.

“I know. They are awesome. Nathan, you and Zoe look amazing as Romeo and Juliet.”

“Thanks.”

“Let’s get some drinks. Shots!”

We headed to the bar. I am going to have a lot of fun tonight, no matter what. I am not going to let anything get to me. Suddenly a masked man dressed as Robin Hood came up to me and held his hand out.

“May I have this dance with a very beautiful princess?”

Something felt familiar when he said princess but I couldn’t put my brain onto why. I took his hand and looking back to Gemma as he walked me onto the dancefloor. All of a sudden, my favourite song came on.

“I love this song!”

He smiled at me, then pulled me closer, whispering into my ear. I wasn’t able to hear him properly but it sound like “I know it is.” Do I know him? I have this feeling I do. I would love for it to be Jamie, but I’m not getting my hopes up in case it isn’t him and be disappointed all evening. For all I know, he might have decided not to come if he knew I was coming, unless Nathan forgot to tell him too. We both stopped dancing and we both went our separate ways.

“Who was that?”

“He never told me, but my gut is telling me it’s him.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. The way he said princess to me. It was exactly the way Jamie would say it. Then again, I could be wrong. It might not be him and I’m just hoping it is, with me not seeing him in months and now knowing he’s possibly coming.”

“Well go find out then. He headed towards the back door.”

“You know what, I said I was going to be adventurous tonight, so why the hell not.”

“You go get your man!”

“Fingers crossed it is him.”

I walked outside into the garden of this beautiful hotel and saw the mysterious man in the wooden bandstand all lit up with white fairy lights.

“Is it you?”

“Is what me?”

“Jamie?”

“You got me,” he said taking his mask off. “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to show you a bit more that I can be worthy of you before you realised it was me.”

“Jamie. You’ve always been worthy of me, but it wasn’t the right time. And as much as I want this, Mark has only been out of the country a few hours. I want to have fun and not have any drama for a while.”

“I get it. Have all the time that you need. I’ll always be waiting for you, no matter what.”

“Thanks,” I said smiling at him. “This doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun now though.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, the night is young. Let’s go have some fun before this party ends!”

“My attention is all yours, m'lady.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

We had such a good laugh all night, dancing and drinking away. We talked about what’s been happening in our lives over the last few months. The most shocking thing I’ve heard, he’s joined the army. Something about him needing to discipline himself and to get out of his partying ways. Which is great for him, I think. It’s a good opportunity for him to be better for himself and others around him.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then!” he declared at the end of the party.

“Yeah I guess so. Thanks.”

“What for?”

“Showing me you’ve grown up.”

“You’re welcome. Listen...I won’t be able to see you for a while now as I’m off to do some training, but I would like to get back to where we finished tonight when I get back.”

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

All of a sudden, he pulled me in closer. Our bodies tensed touching each other.

“I do love you, you know that?”

“Well, show me. You’ve got a lot to prove,” I said giving him the biggest goodbye kiss you could imagine.

I turned and got straight into Nick’s car without turning around. I’ve got to give him something to think about while he’s away.

“Hey. Good night with Jamie?”

“Yeah. it actually was. He proved himself tonight.”

“Good. I knew he would.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well...I’ve been talking to him a lot recently, for your benefit of course, and he told me he wanted to wow you tonight. It wasn’t a coincidence that your favourite song came on the decks.”

“He planned it all?”

“Yep, every last detail.”

“Well, I am definitely impressed now.”

I got home to find a text off Jamie already.

Hey beautiful. I had a great time tonight. I can’t wait to do it again when I’m home in a couple of months. I hope you don’t mind but I would like to write to you while I’m away? X

Yeah I would love that X

Good speak soon X

It was great writing to him. We got to know each other all over again. Some new things we even learnt too. It is a lot more than what our chats use to be like in the shop. It was nice to be able to vent to someone other than Gemma all of the time.

But out of the blue, after about a month of writing to each other, it stopped. I panicked, wondering if something bad had happened to him while he was out there training. Surely nothing can happen in training right? I thought I would message Nathan as he is his best friend after all. They’re always messaging each other.

Hey have you heard anything from Jamie lately? X

About five minutes later Nathan messaged me back.

Hey yeah I heard from him last night. Why? X

Oh. I was just wondering as I haven’t heard from him in a while X

Oh X

What do you mean, oh? X

Well...I don’t want to be the one to tell you but then again you’ll find out soon. He’s found a new girl, that might be why he’s been quiet X

Oh. Okay. Thanks for telling me X

Sorry Keira. He still cares for you a lot and thinks about you X

Obviously not that much if he didn’t tell me about this new girl of his X

I think he was afraid to tell you. He doesn’t want to lose you X

He’s got a good way of showing it. We’re friends. Friends tell each other things. It would have been great for him to tell me something at least so I didn’t sit here worrying X

I’ll tell him X

No, it’s okay. Leave him to it. Thanks though Nath X

Sorry Keira X

I can’t believe him. He was supposed to be changing his ways, to be a better person, that was the whole point in him joining the army. Yeah I would have been upset when he told me but I would've still been happy for him. That way, if he told me, I wouldn’t have been worried for this past month, thinking of the worse possible ways that he was hurt or distressed somehow. It’s selfish of him. I can’t believe he’s done it again. Well… actually I can. He’s not going to change for anybody, so why should I think he would for me? He doesn’t want anything serious. He still cares for me? Yeah I don’t think so. Thanks for trying though Nathan, but we all know what Jamie is like. As long as he gets his leg over, he doesn’t care about anyone else. He would have many women who ‘love’ him and not realise how much he hurts them when they get attached to him. I’m sure there’s not just me who’s in love with him. He needs to grow up and realise he can’t treat people like s**t. If he does that for the rest of his life, he’s going to have no one around him who love and care about him. He’ll end up being a very lonely man.

At least now I know where I stand with him and I can move on with my life and not having to worry about him. At least he’s given me that. So he is good for something.

A few months have passed since I last heard anything from or about Jamie and I can say it has been lovely. I’ve been able to enjoy myself, no strings attached. Nathan tried to mention him but I stopped him before he said anything about him. I didn’t want to know. He hurt me so he can get stuffed for all I care. For once I am happy and there’s been no drama in my life.

Well, time for work, but first I have to get my coffee fix, so off to the shop. It was a beautiful morning, sun’s out for once, it’s a shame I have to go to work. When I got to the shop, there was no one in sight.

“Hello?”

Then someone came out from the back and I was shocked to see who it was.

“Jamie? What are you doing here?”

“I work here from time to time when I’m home. It’s nice to have some normality.”

“When did you get back?”

“About two weeks ago. I’ve been sightseeing in the capital before I came back here.”

“Oh right. Can I have my usual please?”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks.”

Wow. It is so weird seeing him back here. Especially behind the counter. It’s like old times, like nothing has happened.

“There you go,” he said passing me my coffee.

“Thanks. See you around I guess.”

“Yeah sure.”

That was strange seeing him behind the counter again. It was like he never left. It was like nothing at all had happened through these past months with us. Like we were back to how we were before he went away for training. The only problem is, I’m not going to let him off lightly. Not this time. Plus, things are different now. He has a girlfriend. I just wish it was me he finally settled down with. The girl that changed his life forever.

Suddenly my phone started ringing. I pressed my answer button on the steering wheel without looking to see who it is.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Keira. It’s Jamie. Wasn’t sure this was still your number. I don’t want to memorise a new one, it’s taken me awhile to remember this one off the top of my head.”

“Jamie, you’re babbling.”

“Sorry, nerves I guess. I just wanted to say that it was great seeing you earlier. I’ve missed us and we should hang sometime.”

“Now whose fault is that?”

“I know. I have a lot of grovelling to do. Let me make it up to you!”

“Fine. Did I just hear right? Jamie Michaels admitting he has missed mwah?”

“Did I say that? Nah, you must be mistaken. I would never admit that.”

“Tough. No taking it back.”

“Fine. Of course I’ve missed you. You’re my best friend.”

“Aww. I thought the army was supposed to make you tough not soppy!”

“Don’t start Dixon! I can take it all back.”

“Nope you can’t. You love me too much.”

“Anyway. I best get back to work. I shall text you with some details yeah?”

“Yeah, that’ll be great. Bye Jamie.”

“Bye princess.”

Did that just happen? Why when he’s not bothered with me in months? It’s not fair to do this to me. Maybe seeing me has made him realise that he’s missed me more than he cares to admit. Time for work, no more questioning why. I need to concentrate on getting this big celebrity as a client.

The day seemed to pass very quickly. When I got out of my meeting, I checked my phone. Two texts off Jamie.

Hey princess. Just wondered if you wanted to join me later for drinks?

Don’t worry if you’ve not forgiven me yet X

Why not? I need to wind down after my hard day, plus it is now the weekend so I can finally let my hair down.

Sure. What time and where?

Usual at 7? X

Great see you then

I best get home and change. I’ll let Gem know in case I need her later. I thought I’d go with an elegant look tonight. Don’t want him to think I’ve made too much of an effort.

“Right Gem. I’m off. Have a good night with George. Keep your phone close by in case I need you.”

“You sure you want to do this to yourself again?”

“I need the closure. I know nothing is going to happen. He has a girlfriend. I just want an explanation.”

“Okay. If you say so.”

When I got there, I couldn’t see him at first, but then a woman moved a little at a table to show him. Oh no! He’s brought her hasn’t he? Before I could turn around to go home and make an excuse to stand him up, he shouted of me.

“Keira, over here!”

Oh no! I hope he’s invited Nathan and Zoe too.

“Hey.”

“Hi. Hope you don’t mind but I’ve asked Abbie to come too?”

“It’s fine. Actually, I believe Gemma and George are coming soon.”

“Oh. Good. It’ll be nice to see them both too.”

“I’m going to get a drink. Anyone need one?”

“Nah, we’re good thanks.”

“Okay.”

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I need to ring Gemma now.

“Gemma, I need you. I know you wanted a nice night in with George but I need you as soon as possible please. He’s only gone and brought her with him. It’s going to be such an awkward night. Pleaseeeeeeee come and bail me out?”

“Take a deep breath. We will be there in half an hour.”

“You are a life saviour.”

“That’s what best friends are for.”

We hung up. Thank God for Gemma. She is my guardian angel. I got my drink and headed back to the table.

“Gemma will be here in half an hour.”

“Oh good. Let’s catch up quick before she gets here!”

“What’s that insinuating?”

“That she can talk for the whole country.”

“Okay, you may have a point,” I said laughing.

“So how have you been? Any news to tell me?”

“All good. Not a lot has happened though. Oh, I did get a promotion at work. What about you?”

“Not a lot too. I’m here for two more weeks before I have to go back.”

“Not long then. So how did you two meet?”

“Nothing special really. The lads and I were allowed out one night, so we went to the local pub and that’s when we bumped into each other. That was it really.”

“And you hit it off from there?”

“Not exactly. She didn’t want anything to do with me at first. But you know me, I never give up. She couldn’t resist my charm in the end.”

“Yeah if you say so,” Abbie said laughing and giving a kiss to Jamie.

That’s when I saw Gemma and George walk through the door. I walked over to them and gave her a hug, mouthing the word sorry to George, in which he smiled at me.

“Thank God you’re here. It’s okay but it seems awkward. We’re not how we use to be at all. Seems like we have to be cautious all the time.”

“Oh. Good job I have come then.”

“Thanks again. Both of you. I know you was supposed to be enjoying a night in.”

“Hey, anything for you. I know what you have been through with Jamie. Must be hard on you?” George said with sympathetic eyes.

“Yeah it is really. I feel mean though towards you because of Mark.”

“Don’t say that. He left. That’s not on you. You weren’t ready for what he was asking of you. Plus he’s found someone new now anyway.”

“Thanks George.”

“Right, let’s do this. You’ll be fine now we’re here,” Gemma said shoving me towards them.

“Gemma!”

“Hi Jamie. Good to see you again.”

“Bit formal isn’t it? Come here,” he ordered standing up and giving her a hug.

I noticed though when he hugged Gemma, that he got the worst look ever from Abbie. We all sat down and had a good chat about what we’ve all been up to, if there is anything exciting coming up and about what we all use to be like a year ago. Nice memories, how we never really talked to Jamie and now we are all like best friends. But looking at Abbie, she didn’t look at all impressed but she’s also very quiet. She’s not really spoken a word to any of us. If we’ve asked her questions, we were lucky to get a full sentence out of her.

After an hour or so, we decided to move on to our club, so we could have a dance. But it wasn’t as great as it usually is. Gemma and I dragged Jamie onto the dancefloor and at first we were having fun, but then he saw Abbie’s look and he went to sit next to her. He wouldn’t get up for the rest of the night. He ‘doesn’t do dancing’ as he put it. I know full well that he loves dancing and acting like a fool. He’s changed and not in a good way. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want my old Jamie back. In some ways I like that he has matured but he is so under the thumb. He is not the guy I fell in love with anymore.

At the end of the night, we all said our goodbyes and he whispered in my ear “I miss you...us,” as we hugged. Gemma, George and I got in the taxi ad as we drove past Jamie and Abbie, they were having a very heated argument. I’d love to know what for. She hasn’t done anything all night and as for Jamie, he was her little lap dog.

I never heard from him again since that night until I bumped into him the day before he was due to leave. I have had this letter I wrote him that night in my bag, unsure on whether I should post it or not. Bumping into him was a sign to give him it.

“Oh...hi.”

“Hey princess.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just getting some last bits before I leave in the morning.”

“That’s come around quick. I haven’t seen you since that night. I’d have loved to of spend more time with you.”

“I’m sorry about that. I’ve just been so busy. I have been meaning to ring you but then something else cropped up before I could.”

“It’s okay. I know you haven’t had long left. I’ll let you finish what you were doing. I need to get back to work anyway.”

“I’ll see you when I get back home. I promise.”

“You better! Oh before we part, I thought I’d do you a letter like we use to do. I was going to post it to your base but seeing as I bumped into you, you can take it with you now. But you cannot open it until you get on the plane. Pinkie promise me!”

“Okay, pinkie promise,” he swore as he gave me his little finger. “Come here!” He pulled me towards him to give me a massive bear hug. “I miss you!”

With that, before I could say anything back, he left me standing in the middle of the street. That was the last I heard from him in two months.