It’s never that easy

Chapter Twelve

I got a reply from my letter I sent him. I poured my heart out to him and all I get is a reply to say he hasn’t changed. He even asked me to leave him alone as he thinks I’m jealous of Abbie. All I wrote was;

It sounds stupid...but I miss you. Ever since you have got with Abbie, you’ve changed. You’re not who you use to be when I first got to know you in the retreat. You was this really bubbly, confident man who talked to me every day, writing letters when you joined the army to me without thinking about what you wrote ‘cos you and I understood each other. But now...nothing. Not a peep from you because it might offend her. You seem very distant, that’s not you. That’s not the man I fell in love with. It needs to be said. I miss my best friend.

He did go on to asking why I wrote it down instead of telling him face to face. How could I tell him face to face? He wouldn’t have listened to me anyway, plus he never met up with me. I can’t deal with his letter right now. I’m just going to get myself too wound up over it. I know, I’m going to see if Ben is free to go out. He’s been complaining recently he hasn’t been out for a while. Maybe we could find someone for him too.

Luckily, he was free and ready to party. I quickly got ready and headed out of the door. Jamie’s letter can wait.

“Hey! What’s with the late arrangements?”

“I need a drink!”

“Why?”

“One name!”

“Jamie? What’s he done now?”

I explained everything to Ben and told him I don’t know what to do with him anymore. His behaviour towards me keeps changing and I don’t like it. He’s not the Jamie I knew a year ago. I’m actually scared to see him again because of the reaction I may get. Ben told me to ignore the letter and don’t reply to it.

“Look. Ignore him. He is not worth your time. You need to look forward, like the festival this weekend.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m looking forward to it. I’m going to head home. We are catching the train early tomorrow. You should too but not until you’ve spoken to that guy over there who has been eyeing you up over the past ten minutes.”

“Where?” he asked searching, “oh, yeah. Well if you don’t mind, I have some flirting to do. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said hugging me as he stood to go talk to the guy at the bar.

I decided to walk on the marina for a bit before heading home. Clear my head a bit seeing as it is a lovely night. I just can’t believe him. It’s taken him two months to tell me how he really feels then. At least now I know where I stand with him.

***

I so didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, but on the other hand I so can’t wait. I am looking forward to a weekend away. There’s so many acts I’m looking forward to seeing.

Gemma and I quickly got ready and headed off to the station to meet the boys. Nick was great and dropped us off before he headed off to work himself. We walked onto the platform to find Nathan and Ben talking to, of all people, Jamie. This isn’t going to be awkward at all. We walked up to them. I hugged Nathan and Ben asking where Zoe was.

“Her and Abbie have gone to collect the tickets.”

“Oh! Gem is George nearly here?”

“Yeah, he’s just getting off the bus now.”

“Oh good. Let’s go meet him.”

I could see in the corner of my eyes as I was walking away Gemma asking Jamie something.

“Don’t bother Gem!”

“Why? What’s up with you both now?”

“This!” I said, rummaging in my bag for the letter. I shouldn’t have it with me and I should forget about it but I just can’t. It was a very hurtful letter.

“He wrote this?”

“Uha,” I mumbled.

“No wonder there was tension then!”

“If we can, I’d rather not sit with them.”

“Yeah sure. We’ll sit on a table away from them and Ben of course.”

“Thank you. I’m sure Nathan and Zoe will sit with them.”

“Yeah probably.”

We met up with George and joined the rest of them. You could feel the tension in the air between Jamie and me.

“What’s up with you two?”

“Long story,” Jamie replied to Nathan.

“Yeah, right,” I mumbled.

Gemma grabbed my arm and guided me to the train before I could retaliate. I gave her a grin to thank her. I would have kicked off big style if she didn’t remove me, and today I just want to have fun and not get into any fights but I can’t see that happening.

We found a table to sit on, luckily the one adjacent to us was not vacant and they had to sit elsewhere for a table.

“Still bad then huh?” Ben asked.

I couldn’t speak about it any longer. I just nodded and leaned my head on the window, sticking my headphones in to listen to some music off my phone. I can’t deal with it. I just want to have a nice weekend. Drama free. Why did he have to turn up in the first place. Gemma was sat next to me talking away to George and Ben had nipped to the toilet when Jamie walked up to us.

“Can we talk?”

“No!”

“Keira please?”

He nodded at George, with pleading eyes for him to move. George moved his legs so Jamie could squeeze past him. He just sat there staring at me with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Excuse me Gemma, a bad smell has just turned up and I can’t stand it.”

“Keira! Sit down. I don’t want a fight.”

“Then leave, Jamie. I can’t deal with you.”

“Look, I’m sorry for what I wrote.”

Gemma and George could see where this was going so they went to talk to Nathan and Zoe to get away from the drama.

“I don’t care anymore.”

“You don’t mean that!”

“Yes I do. You really hurt me Jamie. I can’t believe that you would write things like that to me of all people.”

“I’m sorry. Something bad happened while I was away and I wasn’t thinking when I wrote it. I regretted it as soon as I had sent it off. That’s why I came home. For you. I knew you were going to the festival and I got Nathan to get me some tickets.”

“Then why bring her?”

“I had no choice. I couldn’t leave her.”

“Whatever Jamie. This is nothing to do with me at all. If I was you I wouldn’t have brought her here. You know how I feel about you and you’re just rubbing it in my face that I can’t be with you. You know she can’t stand me.”

“Err...I don’t know what more you want off me Keira. I’m trying here to apologise and you’re throwing it back in my face.”

“You call this an apology. You should of rang me or something to warn me about that letter if you felt that way. You should've told me to ignore it and not read it. You shouldn’t have brought her either. My weekend has been completely ruined now. I didn’t want any of this. I wanted to get away from it all and enjoy my time here. Just go Jamie before you make it worse for yourself!”

“I am not going anywhere until we resolve this. I need you back in my life. I can’t function with you being angry at me.”

“Fine. You’ll be here all journey then,” I said, folding my arms across my chest.

“Suits me.”

“I don’t think it would with Abbie by looking at her face.”

He turned around to look at her. Gave her a little wave and looked back at me, shrugging his shoulders. I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“There’s my Keira. I don’t care what she wants. I’m not under the thumb. I can do whatever I please.”

“Somehow I don’t think so.”

“Please forgive me.”

“It’s not that simple Jamie. I can’t just forgive you that easy. Even if I want to.”

“Well, if you want to then do. Please....” he pleaded with his puppy dog eyes.

“No you’re not doing this to me again. How are you going to learn? You need to treat me better!”

“And I will from now on. I don’t want your wrath again.”

As he said that I kicked him under the table. He looked at me, moving his eyes down for me to follow. I looked under the table and he was holding his hands out to me. I leaned my right arm on the table, dropping my head into the crook of my elbow facing out towards the landscape while I reached his hands with my left arm. I couldn’t help but smile when I felt his touch.

“Hey guys. Is it safe?”

I turned my head to see Gemma standing there. We quickly let go of each other and sat up straight.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jamie said smiling at me.

I couldn’t help but smile back, both glaring at each other seductively.

“Okay love birds. Give it up.”

“Gemma!”

“What? You two need to be together already.”

“No we don’t! Besides, I have Abbie.”

“What that stuck up cow!”

“Gemma, please don’t talk about her that way. She’s great once you get to know her.”

“I’m sorry but I cannot like her. The way she looks at our Keira. Not a chance in hell.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be putting a stop to that.”

All of sudden I felt his hand rubbing my thigh under the table. I slapped his hand away to stop him in case anyone saw but he insisted on putting it back. Just to stop him, I grabbed hold of his hand and interlinked our fingers.

“I best get back to her. I can feel the daggers in the back of my head.”

As he stood up, we looked at each other and slowly let go of each other as he walked away. 

“What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on Keira! Fess up!”

“Honestly, I’m confused myself.”

I really am stuck. He’s contradicting himself. He’s saying he can’t function without me then the next his back at Abbie’s side. He needs to make a choice. I’m not being pushed aside this time. He can either be with me or her. He can’t have both. He’s got a decision to make.

“I’m just off to the toilet. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Okay.”

I walked past Jamie’s table, smiling as I saw him. I don’t know what has come over me all of a sudden. No one has ever made me feel the way I do about him. One minute I adore him the next he’s irritating the hell out of me. He sure knows how to push my buttons though. I got to the toilet and when I was nearly finished there was a knock on the door.

“Occupied.”

“Keira it’s me.”

I opened the door to see Jamie standing there.

“I can’t resist any longer.”

He barged in, shutting the door behind him.

“What are you doing?”

He stayed silent, looking at me. He caressed my cheek moving my hair out of my face. He suddenly grabbed hold of my waist lifting me up against the wall. I wrapped my legs around him while he kissed my neck ferociously. He looked at me with hunger in his eyes. Suddenly, his lips were touching mine. I pulled away breathlessly.

“What about Abbie?”

“What about her? It’s not been working for a while and I need to own up to that. It’s you I want. It’s always been you. Ever since we went to football together. I knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You was happy with Mark. I didn’t want to spoil that. I didn’t want to drag you into something when I wasn’t even good for myself, never mind you. I’m going to get this weekend out of the way and then I’m breaking up with her. I can’t anymore. Ever since that argument we had at the club, it’s not been the same. She’s been paranoid and I’ve not been able to be myself.”

“Yeah I noticed. What happened at the club?”

“She had a go at me because of you. She saw something in me that made her understand that I love you and not her. But at the time, I didn’t want to believe it myself. I thought I was able to succumb my feelings for you but she saw through me.”

“Why she stay with you then?”

“I think she wanted to try with me. But after that night she has been so controlling. Seeing you today has made me feel so much better. I know now what I want. I love you. No one else can come near to what I feel for you.”

I couldn’t help but lean my forehead on his, looking into his eyes.

“That’s the best thing you have said all morning. You love me?”

“I... Love...You!”

We lightly touched each other's lips. I replied through each kiss that I love him too.

“We really should go. They'll be wondering where we are. We can’t let them get suspicious not yet. Not until you’ve sorted it with Abbie.”

“Just one more minute with you in my arms.”

I wrapped my arms around him. His warmth was so soft and soothing. I really didn’t want to go back, but it had to be done. He left first so we don’t arouse any suspicion. I followed two minutes later. I arrived at Gemma with a massive grin on my face.

“Okay...you wasn’t this happy when you left!”

“Hmmm...what did you say?”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.”

“Clearly!”

I glanced at her. She finally got the message and didn’t ask any more questions. I know she’s my best friend but I can’t tell her in front of everyone. I’ll tell her later on when we can be alone.

An hour had passed and we had finally arrived at our destination. Jamie came and helped me with my bag from the luggage compartment, brushing hands as he passed it to me.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he smiled.

We all descend from the train and gather at the entrance to find out where our hotel is.

“Which hotel are you guys in?” Jamie asked.

“Erm...it’s an apartment complex...the Blue Lagoon.”

“That’s where we’re staying. We’ll walk with you then. I know where it is. We’ve been there before. It’s a lovely place.”

“Ah cool,” I said looking annoyed. I don’t want to know where he’s been with her.

Jamie looked at me apologetically as we started to walk towards the complex.

“No!” I shouted.

Everyone turned to look at me.

“Keira?” Jamie asked.

“My wheels just fallen off my suitcase.”

“Here let me carry it for you.”

I could see Abbie giving me daggers.

“It’s fine Jamie. I’ll carry it,” I declared looking at Abbie.

Jamie followed my eyes and saw Abbie looking at us, but he resisted her stare and picked up my suitcase anyway.

“What the hell have you got in this thing? It’s only one weekend.”

“You don’t know what the weather's going to be like. You have to pack for all weathers. Plus I’m a woman we never pack light.”

He laughed and winked at me as we started walking again. We finally arrived at the complex after a five-minute walk and Jamie is not wrong it is a beautiful place. We got to the receptionist and gave our names.

“Oh...erm...one moment please.”

She went off into a back room and when she arrived back she had someone else with her.

“Hi...Miss Dixon and Mr Michaels.”

“Yes that’s us.”

“I’m sorry for the wait, but it looks like we have somehow managed to double book you. We have one apartment left and it is a five-roomed apartment. I can offer you that apartment for one of you and give a refund and a complimentary voucher for another stay for the other?”

“No, it’s okay. We can share can’t we?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We all know each other so makes no difference. But I would like something for this mix up.”

“Yes definitely. We will still honour our complimentary vouchers to you all.”

“Sounds good to me. Keira?”

“Fine with me. How about everyone else?”

The gang just nodded at us, but Abbie took Jamie to one side. Here we go already. I can see another argument brewing. Which is exactly what happened. I couldn’t help but listen in.

“What do you want me to do Abbie? There will be nowhere else to go. They will all be booked because of the festival. This is our only choice.”

“Fine...but stay away from her.”

“No. You are not telling me who I can and cannot talk to. She’s my friend. She will always be in my life whether you like it or not.”

I couldn’t help but have a tremendous grin on my face. For once he’s sticking up for me and even better against his girlfriend. Maybe what he did say on the train was truthful for once. Maybe he’s not just getting my hopes up. She didn’t reply to that and stood with Zoe mumbling something. I’m sure I can get that out of Zoe later. Jamie came back and stood next to me, slamming his hands on the counter, with an angry face on. I grabbed his hand to calm him down.

“She can’t tell me who I can talk to.”

“Calm down. You don’t want to make a scene.”

“I don’t care anymore. She’s gone too far.”

“Jamie. Please just calm down.”

“Okay. Let’s just get the keys.”

We rang the bell for the managers attention and he gave us three sets of keys to share out. Jamie kept one for himself, gave one to Nathan and one to Gemma. It made sense as I would be with one of these couples anyway and if they wanted to go off and do couple things at least they can get in without disturbing us. We arrived at our apartment and it was massive. All the bedrooms had a double bed with en suite. We had our own living room and kitchen to use. It’s amazing.

We all chose our bedrooms and of course I had to have the one away from the front door, I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise. Exactly what I thought. She made sure to get a room the furthest away from me. Like that would stop him. We all got ready and headed out for the bus to the venue. Jamie came and walked beside me.

“You look hot!”

“Behave!”

“You do. You should wear shorts more often. I love your legs.”

“Perv,” I said laughing, nudging him in the ribs.

“OW!”

“Sorry.”

He started laughing at me.

“Don’t do that to me!”

“Jamie!”

“Coming Abbie,” he said winking at me.

There was a massive queue for the bus when we got there so we just joined the line which actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. They had more buses on so we were on the bus within ten minutes.

We all got on, heading towards the top of the bus. It was just a little bit out from the city centre. It was lovely sitting at the top, you could see the countryside far better. The fields of wheat and the cows sleeping.