Never ever

20. Friendzoned

We just sit there looking at each other. Now that we finally can, we don’t know what to say to each other. My eyes just go over every detail, from his hypnotising eyes to his curved coral lips. There is a slight shadow around them, he hadn’t shaven when he died. Moving my eyes lower I noticed him swallowing making his adam's apple move in his strong neck and somehow this is very interesting to me. Not only because he seems to get nervous from my gaze but also that even though he is dead everything works the same. With a lot of effort I restrain myself from looking down at that thought. Closing my eyes, I clear my head. This is not the time to have alluring thoughts. When I open my eyes again he is gone. Disappointed, I sigh heavily, that didn’t last long. A laughter behind me makes me jump.

“Sorry, I just could resist having some payback” He says still laughing and I join him. Now that I already moved out of my position I decide to move over to my green chair. 

“So, do you know why this is happening?” I asked making myself comfortable seeing I could still communicate with him. 

“Depends on what you mean by this?” He says being cryptic and I just look at him annoyed by his anwer so he continues. “I know that i’m supposed to cross over but by some reason I got stuck here. We have a deep soulful connection that is why you are able to sense and now see me. You actually sort of awaken me when you moved here, before all of this I guess I was in sort of a loop and I don’t remember the years that have past by.”

“Did you even know that you had died, In that time in between I mean?” Surprised to know how I affected him. After Karin had told me about her many encounters with jason, I had thought he had haunted them for years. I was simply his next victim.  

“No, I found out that night with Noah and the shattered light but even then I had a hard time accepting it for the next few days. It was you that pulled me out of my daze and that is when I started to follow you.”

“So WAIT that happened days before halloween and that I felt your presence” I exclaimed realizing I had walked naked around the house and what he must have seen.

“Yeah, it’s been a couple of frustrating weeks” he says sighing and stroking his hand through his honey brown hair making it a little messy which makes him look less serious and I have to admit damn sexy. I have some trouble focusing on what he is saying but then my stomach growls making him laugh mid sentence. 

“Guess you should eat something” he says smiling uncomfortable, I just couldn’t figure out why.

As I made some sandwiched for myself Jason told me everything, from Bardo and Shino, who is teaching him to the dream by the lake he somehow enter. I was a little freaked out by the fact that he was inside my head but he assured me it was fine and he wouldn’t do it again. 

Jason carefully maneuvered around everything and I notice he didn’t touch anything, yet I knew I had felt his touch and he also moved things around. 

“What would happen if I tossed this cup towards you” I asked curiously, already faking the movement of me throwing it to him. As a reflex he moved back, his hand ready to catch whatever was coming his way. I looked gawked at him, not for his reaction but for the fact that he was standing in the middle of one of the kitchen chairs. I had to blink for my mind to apprehend this unbelievable scenario. He straightened up, ready to glare at me for faking but then he noticed my face. Confused he looked around and quickly stepped out of the chair when he finally realized were he was standing. 

“So how does that work? You have touched me and I have seen things move” I stated putting down the empty cup I was still holding.

“Well I don’t know the technical side but look” he said and reached for the cup. He did not touch it, his fingertips just a inch away as he stared at it. Slowly it moved and I looked at Jason how was still focusing hard on in. Now that I saw him I immediately noticed the energy it took him, something I hadn’t even considered when he first started doing thing. He looked at me with this piercing gaze and walked over to me. 

“Close your eyes” he said soft but direct and I obeyed his comment. Nervously I waited for him to touch me, to feel his fingers going over my skin. He moved my hand up, palm facing forward.

“Now look” he said and I could feel the excitement in his voice, he was pleased with himself.

As I slowly opened my eyes I saw that he was standing for me. His hand also with his palm up facing mine, they did not touch yet I swore it felt it. I didn’t move and just looked at hit amazed as he moved his hand focusing his gaze on mine. Like two magnets they moved together and a tinteling went through me. My eyes widened as a reaction and he moved his hand further up my arm, still lingering just above it. As he reached my neck an unfolantairy moan escaped my lips from the jolt of ecstasy that went through me. He gasped at my reaction and lost his focus. With the feeling fading I swiftly stepped away from him a blush on my cheeks.   

“uhm… so” I started but didn’t know how to move further. 

“Sorry” he said moving even further away, “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know the effect it would have.” He was shaking his head, trying to work it out. 

“It’s okay” I sighed, “We are still figuring this out. I’m just glad it was my arm and not my leg” I tried to yoke but we both looked to each other blushing at what it would mean to touch me there. I could slam my hand to my face for going there, what was is it my nasty mind. Sure I wasn’t a prude or anything, I actually really liked my nasty side when it was with Noah but I never had them with someone I wasn’t with. It wasn’t for the fact of being faithful, I had made my misstep even if it was out of revenge and also forgave Kian for his. Those thoughts and the accompanied pleasures that went with them, I never had them for more than one person. Yet I couldn’t help myself imagine how Jasons lips would feel onto mine even though I still wanted Noah’s touch all over me. The love triangle had always been so illogical to me but now I could see the trouble it would make, tearing you heart in two different directions. 

Jason cleared his throat snapping me out of my own thoughts looking up at him. He had gathered up all his strength making him look confident and took a step closer to me. 

“I would like to try something If I may” Jason said nervously and I looked at him unsure what he was going to do. Could I risk it? I nodded not trusting my voice at the moment as I swallowed. He stood right in front of me again, making me look up at him slightly. He wasn’t as tall as Noah thought. Now that I made the triangle I couldn’t help myself comparing the two men. Jason moved his head down and I could already feel the slight tingling of his aspected touch on my lips. In just a fraction of a second I decided I just couldn’t go there. I wanted to be faithful to Noah and letting Jason kiss me, as unreal as it may be, I just could not do it. I quickly moved my head letting his lips touch my cheek instead. It was still amazing, not only physical but I was washed over with emotion, with his love for me. It overwhelmed me, that’s how much energy he had put in that one kiss. Yet it was soft and passionate. I could only imagine the sparks that would have been flying if he had kissed me on the lips. I thought he would be displeased with me for moving my head but as he moved back he just smiled warmly at me. 

“Sorry, I can’t. I’m with Noah” I said ashamed, I had let it go this far, looking down to my feet. 

“I understand why you would pick him over me. I just wanted to kiss you once.” he said his voice sounding longing but not sad, “I will leave you alone now.”

“NO” I quickly said looking up towards his happy expression, “I don’t want you to go unless you want to of course. I thought we could at least be friends, It would be nice to have someone to talk to. Plus I know, for a fact, that my secrets are safe with you.” He laughed at that joking he could always wait to tell the next person who would come and live here. Knowing he was teasing me I didn’t let it get to me and picked up a towel, throwing it at him. It went straight through him and we both laughed lifingting the last of the tension between us. I was sure it would come up again but for now we were fine yoking around. 

**Jason**

Friendzoned but at least I tried and it wasn’t a total loss. She does want me around but I guess she doesn’t know why. I hadn’t told her about her soul reaching out to me in her dreams or the fact that we were soulmates. With Shino’s warnings in the back of my mind and the fact that I couldn’t give her a full live were reasons enough for me to keep that to myself.

We discovered that Maya also had some control over our connection just as I had. She had taken a shower and couldn’t see me anymore when she came back. Maya had focused on me and her chakra and was able to connect very easily. It’s like dialing your number she had joked. It also made it easier to hide me for the rest of the people in her life. Could you only imagine needing to explain why you were suddenly laughing of spooked. This way her life would be somewhat normal seeing she now had a ghostly roommate. 

It was tuesday and Maya had to work the entire day. First with my parents and later at the restaurant. At the moment she was busy doing the laundry while humming along to one of her songs. I could not make out which one seeing she had earphones in. Seeing her like this busy and happy made me smile. A new song had come on and she was shaking her behind left and right. I liked my few and I was just about to smack her ass when a laugh spooked me. My father was standing in the door opening and was grinning towards Maya, knocking on the door to get her attention. It was still strange to me to seeing my strong and vigorous father so broken.  

“Oh William, can I do something for you?” Maya asked when she finally noticed him.

“I was wondering if you had time for a cup of tea?” he asked smiling, I could tell my dad like her. Over the years I discovered that my dad was very friendly to all my girlfriends but he disliked a couple of them, not that any of them ever knew. With the ones he had approved of there were these little hints showing in his gestures and eyes. Those gave him away just like now with Maya. How well she would have fitted in this family, if she just had been born a decade sooner. 

“That would be nice, give me about a half an hour and then I will come to you” Maya says to him.

“Ow and could you maybe get some cookies downstairs. I know Karin hids them for me but it can be our little secret” my dad says grinning mischievous making me laugh. He clearly still had a sweet tooth. Maya nodded and winked at him making him laugh victorious. Carefully pushing his walker in front of him he slowly shuffled back to his room. I could see the concern on maya’s face as soon as he had turned around away from her.  

An hour later Maya was sitting across from my dad laughing about a story from when he was younger. He had been unpleasantly surprised when Maya had only brought two cookies instead of the whole box he had hoped for. When he mentioned it, she had said very deviously that she could always ask if Karin had wanted another cookie if she was to walk down stairs again. That had sparked a story about stealing cookies from his mother. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it just say so but I was wondering about Jason” Maya very casually said after a while. My dad has been taken back by that but soften up saying he actually loved to talk about me but it was harder on my mother. Before Maya could say anything I tapped her on the shoulder three times, our signal if I wanted her to know something. She picked up her cup and pretend to drink while opening up our connection.

“Ask him about my oreo fase” I whispered to her knowing it’s one of my dad favorite stories. I saw a faint smile crossing her lips letting me know she heard me and then she looked at my dad again. 

“You really seem to love cookies, did he had a favorite kind?” she asked making it blend perfectly in their conversation. His eyes lit up hearing her question and he laughed. 

“Ow yes, and you got to hear this story” He started and maya grinned looking at me for a moment. “I think Jason was about 8 years old and he loved oreo’s. He couldn’t get enough of them and it drived Karin a little mad. Especially when he had gotten it in his head he wanted a Oreo bedroom. After a lot of begging we agreed and he had this wallpaper picked out with rows and rows of Oreo’s. I thought it was funny so, together we fixed up his bedroom. Two Weeks went by and Karin thought it was suspicious that he had stopped bugging her for cookies before bed time. So this one night we pretend to go downstairs when we had put him in bed. Karin was right to be suspicious because not to long after that we could hear him eating in his bed. Suddenly barging in his room had spooked him and he had jumped back into the wall. Oreo’s had been flying everywhere. As it turned out he had used the wallpaper to hid the cookies sticking them to the wall.” Maya was laughing hard.

“You mean he had camouflaged the cookies using the wallpaper, that genius.” She says between her laughs.

“I thought so, Karin on the other hand didn’t find it so funny. She had punish him by making him paint over all of the cookies with my help of course.” My dad says remembering those days. 

“It took a long time before I didn’t get a glare from my mom when asking for a oreo” I say smiling thinking of those oreo cookies. 

“I have to get started again but I would like to hear more stories so why don’t we make this a weekly thing. Every Tuesday you will provide the tea and the stories about jason and I will bring the cookies” Maya says smiling towards me a little devious. My dad thought it was the best thing ever especially the part about the cookies. Just wait until mom finds out I thought grinning.