Never ever

18. Introduction

I wake up to small kisses being pressed on my back slowly moving toward my head. I move just a little giving him more room to work and I hear Noah laugh softly before saying good morning. I just moan softly loving his attention but not ready to wake up just yet. His hand caresses my arm and he moves to my neck with his mouth.

“So where did I need to kiss” he asks his voice sounding deep in thought. His mouth starts at my shoulder working his way up and as he proceeds he uses his tongue making me moan again, out of pleasure this time. I’m awake now and my hand finds his leg and just as he teased me I slowly go up his thigh. Only realizing that he doesn’t have his boxers on anymore. He laughed as I quickly turn around finding him completely naked and ready for action. Before I can say anything his lips find mine with a passion that makes me forget everything. Now that I have turned around his hand goes to my breast carefully playing with my n*****s. I’m about to grab his but he stops me putting my hands above my head.

“no no, it’s your birthday” he says grinning seductively and kissed me again. He pulls away to soon for my liking but as he’s going down I let it go. He makes sure my breast get some attention before he takes of my panties and spreading my legs. It’s not long before he has me breathing heavy, moaning not so softly anymore. 

“Oh Noah” I let out and he clearly likes is groaning against me. He suddenly pulls me on top off him making me gasp, grasping his neck. He is grinning broad, looking at me amused. 

“May I f**k you my lady” he whispers in my ear as he kisses my neck again making a shiver go through me. 

“Yes please” I manage to answer clear and wanting. I want him, I need him. I gasp again as he pulls me closer and starts moving. He makes me scream a couple of times and I make sure to use his name. 

“Ow god you are amazing” he tells me as he finishes. We stay there for a moment holding each other in a hot and heavy embraches. When our breathing slows down again he moves away kissing me before getting to the bathroom. It takes me a minute for my legs to be steady again and then I follow him. I turn on the shower and he enjoys the few as I step under the hot water. I turn around toward him, biting my lower lip and seductively going with my hands over my body. His eyes are just a little darker as he steps towards me helping me wash. 

“Ready for another round” he asks and I laugh feeling he is. 

“Maybe after breakfast, aren't you hungry?” I ask him and his stomach growls as a response. We laugh and then kiss again as the hot water flows over us. 

“Why don’t wash up while I’ll prepare us some food” I tell him and get out. Quickly drying myself, putting on some underwear and a dressing gown and I move to the kitchen. I’m just about done with our spread when there is a knock on the door. Surprised I walk to it and just as Noah is walking in with only a towel on his waist I open the door revealing my father. 

“Happy birthday Honey” he says happily pulling me into a loving embrace when he sees Noah, “Hey your not Kian.” 

“Dad” I exclaim not knowing for whom I should be more ashamed. It Noah who recovers first.

“No Sir, I’m Noah Adams. Nice to meet you” he says extending his hand towards my father. I just gawk at him as he confidently takes my father hands with his bear chest and towel.  

“Peter Chace, May I ask what you are to my daughter” My dad asks but he is clearly impressed even though the situation is a little awkward. 

“Her boyfriend” He says without faltering as he smiled warmly to me. 

I’m suddenly aware I’m also not wearing much and grasp my dressing gown so to not reveal anything to my father. 

“Dad, why don’t you take a seat and we will get dressed before getting to know one another.” I say closing the door behind us. Noah is already on his way to my bedroom. He had the foresight of sleeping at my place and had brought a bag with clothing. 

“O god, he’s never this early” I tell Noah as I walk in my bedroom where he is standing zipping his pants. 

“Well I guess this is becoming a tradition, can’t wait to see what you be wearing when meeting the rest of my family” he says grinning and I take the liberty to smack him with my gown. 

“Be on your best behavior, I want him to like you” I warn him and he gives me a sweet kiss.

“Yes madam” he says and than goes off to entertain my father, already done dressing. How easy guys do have it sometimes as I look through my wardrobe. I decide on some dark jeans, a simple black tank top with a white and burgundy sweater. Seeing my father also casually dress made me choose for the convertible option. The sweater is low cut but by wearing is over one shoulder it doesn’t show to much. But as I walk into the living room I regret it immediately as my father see the faded broos from my “fight” with Cliff.

“Don’t tell me your fighting again” he says disapprovingly as soon as he sees me. It’s kind of funny, he dislikes me fighting but is also my biggest and loudest fan when i’m winning. 

“No dad, this is from proving a point with one of Noah’s friends” I explain as Noah comes from the kitchen with two cups of coffee and a cup of tea for me. He already had all the food I prepared spread out at the small table, so I quickly took a bagel and put it in my mouth. 

“Yeah, they didn’t think she could fight so she showed them, making him run circles, never touching her.” Noah said laughing backing me up. 

“That’s my girl” he said proud making me shake my head smiling. We ate and Noah and my dad got to know each other. Dad also wanted to know more about my arrangement with the Greens and I showed him the apartment. He approved of both my new home and my new boyfriend. I noticed Jason joining us at some point but he kept a low profile making me wonder sometimes if he had left but then I could suddenly pick him up again. I was kind of annoyed by this, be present or go away but it also reminded me of Kian and when I got my chance I needed to ask my dad about him. 

“So dad, why did you expect Kian to be here?” I asked him curiously when Noah had excused himself for a moment. He gave me a look only a dad could give. 

“Honey, I know you two and Kian told me that he was going to your party so it was kind of inevitable, not knowing of a crucial piece of information officiously” he says hinting at Noah. Kian and my dad had created a bond over the years of us dating. They also reaguly saw each other since my dad and his dad worked together. It was acutely how we met. Ten years ago my dad’s office got fused with another and Kian’s family moved so his father could smooth things over. It was kind of a big deal back then and my father ordered me to show around the son of his new boss before school would start in a few weeks. I fought him every way possible not wanting to give up my summer with my friends but he wouldn’t have it. Of course the minute I saw Kian I was glad my father had pushed me. It still took awhile for him to notice me though. It was at the end of summer when they celebrated the succesvol merger. Gabi and Erica had helped me with dressing up for him and he couldn’t take his eyes of me. That was our beginning, over the years there had been several drama filled events but as my dad had put it, it was inevitable that we found our way back to each other. Until now, it was the first time I really had chosen someone else over him I realized. 

“I was going to tell you today” I confess blushing as Noah came back in, ”Speaking off today, what do you want to do?” 

“Do you remember your first birthday after mom?” He asked and I nodded, off course how could I forget that day. “I thought since this is technically your first birthday “without” me we could do something like that. I checked and the ice rink is open today.” When I turned twelve he had wanted to make my day special, taking me out all day, shopping, ice skating whatever I wanted. Hoping I would forget for a moment that she had left me, that she wasn’t there. We ended the day with dressing up and getting to a chic restaurant. He had promised to do this every year but as the years progest he got busier and it resulted in us only going to diner on my birthday. I guess that not having me around anymore made him remember that promise. 

“Really are you sure?” I asked knowing how busy he usually is.

“Yes, no interruptions. Noah can even join us if you want to?” He says putting up one hand and the other over his heart, swearing to it. I looked at Noah silently asking him if he wanted to come and he nodded smiling at me. 

“Let’s do it” I said exiting already on my feet. 

**jason**

I don’t know why but being at the restaurant had drained me more than before so after deafening her from that jerk and giving her my strength, I found myself back at the apartment. I had waited for Maya but she had taking the good one, Noah, home and when they got romantically I decided to take off. I was glad Maya had chosen him over the bad one especially seeing that I wasn’t a option but I did not have to witness this. I wandered through my mother’s garden as I suddenly found myself back at Bardo. Quickly looking around, relieved to see that Shino’s door was still there. Shino, in her human form already, was looking at me curiously from the other side of the pound. I walked to her and her eyes followed every step.

“Hai Shino” I greeted her and a mischievous smile came to the corners of her mouth.

“So you are finally remembering this place” she says never letting me escape her gaze.

“what do you mean?” I wondered, I have only been here once before or haven't I?

“You have been here in bardo for at least five times,” she says pausing for dramatic effect, “every year since you have died.” I stare at her in utter disbelief. How can I not remember any of that. Then again I didn’t notice much of anything until I met Maya.   

“So I guess we have also met just as many times” I ask a little ashamed that I also don’t remember her. 

“You truly have no idea” she says laughing, sounding high pitched and let me believe there is more to it that that. 

“So can you explain something for me?” I ask and she looks curiously at me waiting for me to continue, “Who am I, why am I stuck and What is the whole deal with maya.” I blurt out.

“So many questions” she says suddenly sounding like a wise old woman, yet her appearance did not chance, “First, you are a meta spirit, spirits that are known for changing into new lives, you may refer to as reincarnation. So is Maya for a matter of a fact, yet she does not know it in her current phase. For now you are just Jason because you are stuck with this entity. We think it has something to do with the shock of your death but non have hold on for so long. That is why I was sent to you, to guide you to your next life but you have been resitent. I guess we are making progress now that you are finally remembering me” she said smiling bathing her eyes. 

“So what about Maya?” I wanted to know, “she does know about reincarnation you know. If spoken to her subconscious while dreaming”  

“YOU WHAT” she says suddenly overly dramatic, “Don’t you know how dangerous that is.”

I look at her shocked, what does she mean. How can that be dangerous.

“Ow off course you don’t” she says deviously, “You should not do that ever again, It could cause a ripple effect that breaks down her mind. Knowing about your true identity can be to much for a human mind and it can consume her. It is especially dangerous seeing your souls were mates before.” I look at her horrified to know I could cause Maya harm but then that last sentence keeps going through my mind, our souls were mates, soulmates.

“Is that why we can affect each other, why there is this pull between us?” I ask her excited totally dismissing her warning. She looks annoyed with me but nods nonetheless. 

“It’s probably also why she can sense you, but you can switch that of you know” she says uninterested, like it isn’t relevant at all.

“Really can you show me?“ of course I was interested in that, being able to be with her without affecting her with everything I feel. Maybe she didn’t even notice but I saw the small changes in her when she knew I was around. 

“Sure” Shino says smiling again, “Can you feel the line that is connection you? Just break that and the connection is gone”

“But I don’t want it gone, You said that it could be switch off” I tell her sounding like a little kid.

“Fine, try to picture that line, now imagine the flow of energy that goes thru it like a river flowing. And how do you stop a river? By building a dam, off course when your energy flow is greater like when you have an intense emotion it will flow over but that’s how it works.” she explains to the child that i’m acting as. 

“So I just have to imagine a dam on that line, keeping the energy with me” I say to her surprised it does take much more effort, “that sounds simple.” She laughed at that. 

“Imagination is more powerful than you’ll know but it’s not simple, you’ll see” she says and with an invicable push i’m suddenly a few passes away from her. Confused about what just happened I lifted an eyebrow and looked around like there had to be something there. I tried to walk closer to her but she just looked at me smirking. Was she doing this? I stopped trying not wanting to give her the satisfaction. We just stood there staring at one another. 

“Just go back and do what you must but don’t take to long, you really need to cross over to you next life.” she finally said sounding bored, I guess it’s not so much fun playing the cat when the mouse isn’t cooperating. I started walking back to the door when she warned me again. 

“Don’t go into her dreams again” 

“Sure” I called out to her, I wouldn’t if it could hurt Maya but there were so many other things on my mind that I didn’t even think about the dangers of dreamwalking. I heard a strange hissing turned into a guttural chattering and a yelp and I quickly turned around expecting Shino to attack me. It had made my hairs stand up and a shiver go through me but as I looked back she was smiling and waving at me. Where had that sound come from than? Confused I quickly went through the door, I did not want to see what kind of being would come out next. 

Back at the apartment I saw she wasn’t alone, Noah was there and so was a tall man but he wasn’t gangly nor very muscular. His brown hair was slowly greying which suited his familiar grey eyes. He had a very affable and trustworthy look about him. As he spoke I noticed he grabbed my attention every time. He was a very dynamic man, who I soon figured out was Maya’s father. I noticed Maya looking my way a couple of time, I was distracting her. So it maybe the perfect time to try out the method Shino talked about. I focused on the line that connected us, picturing it as flowing bleu line in my mind. Then using my imagination I build a stone dam like I used to so with my dad. It took some concentrating but I finally worked and I notice the small change in Maya. But because of my excitement I forgot my concentration and it broke. Building the dam up again, it was a little easier the second time around. This time I was careful with my excitement but as soon as Maya spoke she broke through my concentration and washed away my dam. This kept happening and I could see Maya getting irritated by it. I guess this was what Shino ment. She soon forgot about me and went somewhere with her father and Noah. I hadn’t paid any attention but figured that I could better stay here and practice without her. Off course this was also very difficult since the connection wasn’t as strong when we were apart. Maya had mentioned that my mother had also sensed something so maybe I could practice with her. I went looking for her and as per usual I found her in her office reading. She had started her own publishing company when she was younger because of her love for books and storytelling. She was pretty successful, never losing that love and I guess even now it was her favorite thing to do. I didn’t want to alarm her so I stayed at the other end of the room and did the same thing as with maya. Trying to focus on the connection, if there even was one. It did take me awhile but there it was, just not as strong as with maya. It the connection with maya was a river than the connection with my mother was merely a stream. Building a blockade on it was becoming easier but now for the difficult part. Keeping my concentration. It faltered a couple of times and the last time I had lost it a little to close making my mother look up. I guess I better quit for today not wanting to mess with her.