Masked Series 1: Unleash Lies

Note: Some scene will be disturbing to you, because I'm focusing about mental health issue and maybe you will encountered self harmed. I don't want someone will get triggered about this and so if you are sensitive about this then you should skip it, because I don't want to harm you, keep safe! (Tagalog and English) I'm just sitting silently despite of the noise in the classroom, my thoughts are is eating me up but I looked away, I don't want my emotions will visible to anyone, that's why I crushed in out in my head and I slowly smiled. "Ash, I'm doomed" Kate murmured pero narinig ko. I just smiled at her. "Sana all matalino" sabi pa niya, I just chuckled lowly. "Mag-aral ka kasi" I said to her, pero sinamaan lang niya ako ng tingin. "Kahit ano pag-aral ko di talaga pumapasok sa pretty brain cells ko" she said seriously, I can't stop smiling that's why I hide it with my hand. "Tawang tawa ka dyan amp" she said while pouting, "Stop it, you look like a duck Kate" I said to her while laughing, but she didn't listen to me, instead she rolled her eyes while pouting, I just chuckled loudly. "Ash!" Someone called me, I smiled to her, she's waving her hands and I waved back to her "She's really perfect" I heard students murmured while looking at me with their adoration in their eyes, I just smiled to them but sometimes I hate it when they are saying it to me, because I know I don't deserve their compliments and I have many secrets that they didn't know, and I know if they will know it, the adoration of their eyes will be replace by disgust and disappointment. I just smiled widely to hide my emotions and the demons inside me. I waved and greet back to them, while I'm walking in the corridor of our school with the plastered smiled that I used to wear. "Ate ikaw po yung pinakamataas na average, nakita ko sa bulletin board" she said, I looked the cute sophomore and she's giggling when she said it to me. My eyes widely open and my mouth because I really didn't expect that, "Ba't parang gulat ka po ate eh expected naman talaga po, ang talino niyo po tapos maganda pa" sabi pa niya habang hawak ang kamay ko, I just chuckled. "Hindi ko naman kasi alam eh, tapos alam kong may mas magaling pa sa akin kaya di talaga ako nag expect" I said shyly to her, her eyes widely open and I can see her adoration at me, my smiled didn't reach my eyes because of the emotions that she showed to me. "Ate, ang bait at humble niyo po wahh" she said exaggeratedly, I just chuckled lowly to hide the bad thoughts in my mind. When someone tapped my shoulder, I looked at her. "Ash! Libre naman" Lyn said to me, one of my bestfriend. She's really out going person and low-key, that's why I like her. "Sige ate punta nako sa room ko" the sophomore waved to me and I waved goodbye to her, and I just smiled. I faced my friends. "Oo na, halika na kayo lilibre ko kayo" I said to them while chuckling. "Ayun ohh! Street food Lang naman" hirit pa ni Lyn, we just chuckled. "Congrats sa atin! College na tayo next school year!!!!" I said and hugged them, when I heard someone sobbed. "Buti nalang talaga naging 75 yung 73" nangingiyak na sabi pa ni Kate sa amin, sabay kaming tumawa ni Lyn. "Parang tanga to" hirit pa ni Lyn sabay sapak sa braso ni Kate, I just chuckled. I looked at them while giggling and laughing, I'm so blessed to have them despite they didn't know who truly I am, I just hope they won't let go my hands when I need them, because I don't want to be alone anymore, I hate it. We are in the jeep terminal and we are waiting, when someone caught my eyes. He's reading his book like he has own world, I just smiled because I just like him when I was in my room, I always making myself busy so that I won't hear the voices in my head. We are sitting in the jeep, Lyn and Kate are talking about their crushes and I just rolled my eyes because I really don't have interest with boys, I don't like them and I hate them. "Bastos!" the girl slapped the man beside him. "Paano hindi sya mababastos eh ang ikli ng suot niya" I heard someone murmured and the girl who slapped the man seems heard it. "Ma'am, Kahit pa ano ang suot ko, Kung maniac talaga maniac talaga! At paano po niyo nasasabi yan eh babae din po din kayo! Grabe kapag ba nagsuot ng ganito ang mga babae kabastosbastos na?! Hindi po ako nagsusuot ng ganito para mang-akit ng lalaki!" The girl said and I know she's really angry, I can't help myself trembled when I looked to the pervert man. "Bastos ka rin eh, wala kang galang Kaya ka nababastos eh!" hirit pa ni manang. "Hindi po ako bastos, sinabi ko Lang ang gusto kong sabihin po, at ikaw isusumbong kita sa pulis, eh ano? tigang ka na ba ha?! Kaya Ka ganyan wala ka bang ina or kapatid na babae mister?!" Sigaw pa niya sa lalaki. "Tama na yan Ara, malalate pa tayo sa interview natin" sabi ng katabing babae ng babae. "Aish Oo na! Huwag mo tong kakalimutan mukha to mister! Dahil magsusumbong pa ako!" Sabi niya sabay kuha ng litrato nito, "PARAAA!!" sabi pa niya sabay baba sa Jeep. I looked the man, my body trembled. I want to punch him, but the fear eating me up, my hand trembled nervously, nang may naramdaman akong humawak sa hita ko, dali dali ko itong hinawi, "Hoy Ash! anong nangyari sayo?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Lyn sa akin, but I remain stunned and I know they will see the fear in my eyes. "Ash? Anong nangyayari sayo?" tanong ni Kate sabay tapik sa pisngi ko, "Para" narinig kong sabi ng lalaki na bumastos sa babae, kaya don nako kumalma. "Ahh, parang hindi maganda pakiramdam ko" mahinang sabi ko sa kanila, nakikita ko parin ang pag-alala nila kaya I smiled to them na okay lang ako. "Bukas nalang yung libre mo Ash" sabi ni Lyn, tumango naman si Kate. "Tama si Lyn, Ash mas mabuting umuwi kana at magpahinga" sabi ni Kate, I just chuckled to hide my nervousness. "Okay Lang naman kung ngayon eh" I smiled widely to them "Hindi, bukas nalang" sabay na sabi nila sa akin, I smiled I'm really lucky to have them. "Oo na, bukas nalang. Babye!" sabi ko sabay takbo. When I reached the house of my grandparents, dali dali akong umakyat sa kwarto, hinubad ko lahat ng damit ko, I just saw myself in the mirror "Disgusting" I murmured to myself, I chuckled like a demon. I reached the bathroom in my room, I take the shower and rubbed my self with the soap, "Disgusting b***h" I said repeatedly while rubbing the soap in my body, but despite of that I felt the man who touched me years ago. I feel dirty, I always see him in my mind smirking while molesting my young body, and I hate it! I cried loudly. 5 hours after taking a bath, I sat in the edge in my bed naked, I'm seeing myself in the mirror and I always feel disgusted in myself. I touched the bruises in my body, "You deserve that because you are dirty little b***h" I heard someone say it to me, but no one is in my room. My eyes roamed around and they are laughing loudly. "Ahhhh!!!" I screamed loudly, "Please, stop it. Please stop it" I murmured but I always heard them, that's why I need distraction. I walk hurriedly and find the blade in my drawer, when I found it, I cut my wrist. I felt the pain but it comforted me because it divert my attention and the voices of the demons was gone, I smiled.