Keeping It Together

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The phone sounded and Maggie picked it up before it had barely finished the first ring.

“Hello?” she said quickly.

“Maggie? Hi, it’s Norma. You sound tense! Is something wrong?”

“Norma!” Maggie sighed. “I was hoping it was Cameron.”

“How is she?” Dr. Norma Brock asked, obviously with a smile on her face.

“I don’t know. I’m about to go crazy,” Maggie said as she sat down onto the soft deep brown leather couch. Maggie took a deep breath. “Cam’s been missing for three days.”

“What?” Norma asked, not wanting to believe what she’d just heard. “What happened?”

“Oh, Norma. I’ve been going out of my mind. We were at the mall shopping on Friday. We’d just had dinner and she went off to get something for her sister. She never met me where she said she would.”

“And you haven’t heard from her since?”

“No,” Maggie said softly, a tremor in her voice. “Not a word. I’ve thought of everything. I almost called her sister to see if she’d made the trip up to Boston by herself but I didn’t want to alarm the family. I can’t imagine why she’d do such a thing; we usually discuss everything. I guess I’m trying to think of excuses.”

“Does Craig know about this?” Norma asked, trying to think what she could do. Good God! Hadn’t Craig been able to do anything?

“Yes, he was the first person I called. He called a friend with the FBI. They had a lot of the department out looking. They scoured the mall yesterday. Still…nothing.” She took a deep sigh. Craig Robertson was a director of the CIA. He’d been their boss for the past twenty years. Usually, if they couldn’t do something, he knew who could.

“Is anyone there with you?” Norma asked.

“No, everyone’s out looking for her. The police have been notified, but it’s like she vanished off the face of the earth!”

“You hold on, girlfriend. I’ll be right there.”

“No,” Maggie said quickly, “You don’t need to come all the way out here, Norma.”

“Yes, I do,” Norma retorted. “…and don’t tell me I don’t. We may be colleagues but I’m ten years older than you. I’ve had more experience in crisis situations. You’re not that far away. I’ll be there in less than an hour.”

The phone went dead.

Maggie placed the receiver back onto its cradle and sat back to wait. Again. Tears started to cascade down her face. Stop it, she chastised herself. You’ve never cried before. Crying is not going to help. Keep it together. Someone will find her. Someone’s got to find her.

Maggie had owned this property for just over twenty years but had used it only as an occasional weekend retreat. It had a beautiful view across one of the fingers of Chesapeake Bay and Cam had fallen in love with it the first time she’d visited. Now, she and Cam had lived out here for almost a year. When she sold her practice and condo in the city and Cam had sold her house in Vermont, they’d moved here to relax and get away from the city noise. Now it seemed much too quiet for her.

Dr. Norma Brock had been her friend and colleague for years. They both were psychiatrists with private practices, although they both worked for the CIA from time to time.

Maggie had first met Cameron almost twenty-three years ago when she was assigned to evaluate and oversee the training of a new undercover agent. That young woman would enter service under deep cover and was too valuable for other operatives or trainers to know. Maggie was to be her control as well as therapist. They had met and become close friends. Throughout the years she’d acted as control, liaison, and supervisor for Cam as well as several other agents. When Cam returned from South America and Maggie realized how personally involved she was, she had removed herself as Cam’s therapist and recommended Norma.

Norma lived not that far away. The house that she shared with her husband of forty years was between here and D.C. If traffic wasn’t bad on the interstate, it should only take her twenty or twenty-five minutes.

Why hadn’t I thought to call her before? Maggie asked herself. She’s our friend. I could use some support dealing with this. If nothing else, Norma’s company would be comforting. It always was.

She looked around the house, trying to find something to keep herself busy. She’d already done the dishes for the day and the laundry. What else could she do to keep busy? Vacuum? Rearrange the room she used for an office? Sweep the deck? Nothing seemed like something that would keep her mind occupied.

Maggie picked up her cell and the landline telephone and walked out onto the deck that faced the water. Setting the phone base so that the receiver would pick up the signal from inside, she turned and looked at the water. It was a beautiful day and the sun might help her relax. She sank down into the Adirondack chair the Cam loved so much and reached for the glass of vodka she’d been drinking. She looked at the glass. Why was she drinking this? Something like this wouldn’t calm her. Nothing seemed to calm her. Nothing stopped her stomach from cramping.

She looked out onto the water. Should they have kept this place? It seemed so out of the way from everything. The condo in the city that she used to own was within walking distance of just about everything. She could pick up the phone and have food, even liquor, delivered within minutes, or hail a cab and go wherever she wanted.

When she and Cameron had retired and she’d sold her practice to Dan Welsh, it seemed so logical to move out here. Cam had always liked it here and it was sitting here empty unless they had a weekend free. This house had three bedrooms, one which they used as an office. The house was right on the water. “The water” was one of the fingers that led into Chesapeake Bay. The deck and most of the windows faced west, so they got the afternoon sun.

Maggie leaned back. Where else could she look? Who else should she call? She closed her eyes and put her head down.

Why had this happened? Hadn’t enough gone wrong?

Maggie had never imagined she was a lesbian because she had never wanted to look at the attraction she felt for Cameron. It had been too complicated. She’d always been attracted to men. She’d even been married for a few years until she and Tom grew apart. Well, it’s not so much that they’d grown apart, they’d never been that close to begin with. It was lust; pure and simple. They’d both been in the medical corps in the Army. They’d both been lonely and homesick. One thing had led to another and they’d made the mistake of confusing lust and comfort with love and marriage. When they were back in the United States, it became all the more apparent that they weren’t suited for each other. So, after three years of marriage, they agreed to a divorce. She occasionally wondered where Tom was now. She hadn’t heard from him in almost thirty years. The last thing she knew he’d remarried and had at least one son, something she’d never wanted to give him.

She and Cam had known each other for such a long time but there had never even been a hint of acknowledging their romantic attraction for each other. They had known each other’s significant relationships and had had a very close friendship. Even though she fell in love with Cam right away it hadn’t been ethical to get involved with a co-worker, especially one that she was supervising, so she threw herself into a relationship with Douglas. That way she wouldn’t have to acknowledge that it was Cam that she really wanted. Over ten years she’d lived that lie. She’d even encouraged Cam’s relationship with Michael, as Michelle Gauchet had preferred her name to be pronounced. But now that Michael was gone and Douglas had left, she and Cameron had a real relationship. How could she bear to lose it? To lose Cameron?

Maggie sat up with a deep sigh. She had to get up and get herself cleaned up if Norma was coming out here. She hadn’t showered since the day before yesterday and her makeup had worn away a long time ago.

Get yourself together, old girl, she told herself. Norma doesn’t need to see you looking like this.

She closed her eyes and put her head back against the chair. Where is she? ran through her head for the millionth time.

Maggie stood to go back into the house. She didn’t see the boat moored in the reeds just beyond her property.